Stumbling Blind
by ajremix
Summary: Shikamaru and Ino. Anything but smooth. Epilogue Big Cajonese: It takes a lot to really love someone.
1. The Little Angels

Stumbling Blind 1. Little Angels  
  
bgm- "I Sit Away", Boyz II Men  
  
She looked at herself in the mirror, swinging her legs as she sat. She didn't know why she was wearing her nice clothes, but Papa said to put it on, so she did. The door to her room slid open and she watched her father's reflection as his head came into view.  
  
"You ready, Princess?" He went over and knelt next to his daughter.  
  
"Un."  
  
He grinned at her. "You look beautiful."  
  
Ino blushed. "Thank you, Papa." She slid to her feet and smoothed out her dress. "Papa?"  
  
"Yes, Princess?"  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"We're going to see your godfather."  
  
"Godfather?" She asked, holding her father's arm like the little lady she was. "What's that?"  
  
"Your godfather is my best friend." He looked down at her, blonde bangs unhindered by his bandanna and falling into his face. "He and I have been through a lot together and he's a very important person to me. And I want him to be important to you, too."  
  
Ino wrinkled her nose. "I already have a Papa."  
  
"He'll take care of you and Mama if anything happens to me."  
  
"Nuh-uh! Papa's the strongest ninja in the world! Stronger than Hokage- sama!" She insisted with wide shakes of her head.  
  
"I know, Princess." He humored. "Besides, he has his own little boy that I'm a godfather of."  
  
The shocked expression on the eight-year-olds face was priceless. "A boy?" She nearly shrieked. "I dun wanna live with a boy!"  
  
He gave her a confused grin. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You're his godfather, right? So you have to take care of him! I don't wanna live with a boy! They're icky!"  
  
Her father had to look away to keep from laughing. "His father is still around." He gave her an askew glance. "Are all boys icky?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Even me?"  
  
"You're not a boy."  
  
"I'm not?"  
  
"You're Papa and I'll do anything for Papa." She nodded as if that were the most profound thing in the history of time.  
  
"You're absolutely right, Princess." They walked down the stairs into the back of the flower shop and to where Ino's mother was working the counter. "Give Mama a hug, Princess."  
  
"Mama!" She ran to the older woman and wrapped her arms around a leg. "Papa's taking me to see my godfather and a icky boy." She pouted. Her mother just raised her eyes to her father.  
  
He shrugged. "It's about time, I figured."  
  
"All right." She knelt and fixed Ino's hair. "You be nice, okay? I've heard he's a quiet boy and he doesn't have a mother, so don't be mean."  
  
She cocked her head to the side, bangs in her face before her mother brushed them aside. "How come?"  
  
She stopped and looked at Ino for a moment. "A lot of reasons, sweetie. Just be good, okay?" She kissed her forehead.  
  
"We'll be back for dinner." Her husband promised, kissing his wife goodbye.  
  
"I'll be waiting." She waved them off with a smile.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Yamanaka!"  
  
"Nara!" The two men wrapped each other in pounding hugs, grinning widely. "It's good to see you again!"  
  
"Always a pleasure."  
  
The blonde suddenly peered around. "That's a new one." He said, eyes on the scar that ran near the other's eye.  
  
"That," he fingered it, mainly out of habit, "was a close call." But he grinned. "How's the business going?"  
  
"Pretty well. Still making more money than working jounin."  
  
"Can't say the benefits exactly equal out the hazards of military." He agreed. "Little lady running the store?"  
  
"That 'little lady' can still your-"  
  
The dark haired man cleared his throat.  
  
"Er, right. Sorry." He grinned sheepishly.  
  
"And here I thought we'd have to worry about /my/ mouth." He looked down at Ino. "So she's the one?"  
  
"Yup. My princess, my pride and joy. Ino, this is your godfather."  
  
Ino shrank back behind her father. 'Godfather? He doesn't look like a Papa at all! He looks mean and scary!'  
  
He knelt down. "You're twelve, aren't you?" She nodded, mostly out of fear. "You're a fine lookin' young lady. Your parents should be very proud." She blushed, fear dispelled slightly. He saw something glint at her throat. "Is that your mom's locket?"  
  
"Un!" She nodded. He didn't seem so bad after all. She took the locket from under her blouse and held it up, the chain wrapped twice around her small neck. "Mama told me to give it to someone important to me!"  
  
"Someone important, huh?" He stood up. "Do you have an idea who?"  
  
Ino pouted. "I wanted to give it to Papa, but Mama said I'll find someone more important."  
  
He nodded sagely. "Good idea. Your dad's a good man, but," he grinned wickedly at his friend, "you might not want someone too much like him."  
  
Yamanaka glared. "Ixnay, Nara."  
  
Ino looked up. "What does he mean, Papa?"  
  
"Pretty boys tend to get ahead of themselves." He said in a non-discreet whisper. Ino's father shot him a sharp look, but the other just looked innocent. "Yes?"  
  
The blonde huffed and looked down at Ino. "Nothing important, Princess." But Ino's eyes strayed to the scarred man as he mouthed 'knife point wedding' and pointed at her father. She just looked confused and the other man looked back around at his friend.  
  
Nara, once again, had a perfectly innocent and normal face. Not believing that look for a second, Ino's father asked, "Your boy?"  
  
"Right, right. Of course. This," he pulled a little boy out from behind his leg, "is my son, Shikamaru. Shika, this is your godfather and his little girl. Say hi, boy."  
  
He just smiled shyly. The way he tried to hide behind his father's leg reminded Ino of Sakura.  
  
'But Sakura's cuter and she's not a icky boy.' She decided. She made a face at him and turned her nose away.  
  
"C'mon," Ino's father said. "Let's have lunch, shall we?" He shot his friend a look. "No ramen."  
  
"There goes my afternoon."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was a fairly nice restaurant. Family oriented, but not expensive. The fathers talked expressively together, leaving the children to entertain themselves. Ino prayed no one from her class saw her or they might think that she- ugh -/liked/ boys.  
  
'But,' she decided, 'if I have to be miserable, I'll make sure he is, too.'  
  
"Hey," she said. "Hey!" He looked at her from where he was boredly staring out the window. "My mama says that you don't have a Mama."  
  
"No..." He said softly.  
  
"Well, where is she?" Shikamaru shrugged. "You don't know?"  
  
"Dad doesn't know. He says she left so she could be in a happier place." He ducked his head. "I don't know why we didn't go, too."  
  
Ino sniffed. "I bet your mama's dead." Shikamaru shot his head up. "My papa said that my pet bird went to a happier place, but when I asked my sensei if it was true, she said it died. Because they put it in the ground. My grandpa's in the ground, too because he died. But they say he's in a happier place. So your mama probably is, too."  
  
His dark eyes narrowed at her. "My mom's not dead."  
  
"I bet she is." Ino insisted in his all-knowing voice.  
  
"I know what dead is, but Mom left. Dad wouldn't lie because he's waiting for her to come back."  
  
"Nuh-uh."  
  
"Che." Shikamaru looked away. "A stupid girl wouldn't understand."  
  
Ino's jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
"I said a stupid girl wouldn't understand."  
  
Snarling, Ino slid down in her seat and kicked Shikamaru in the shins.  
  
"Ow! Why'd you kick me?"  
  
"I'm not a-"  
  
"Ino!"  
  
She whirled around, trying to defend herself against the judge and jury known as 'Papa'. "But he called me stupid girl!"  
  
"It doesn't matter! You don't hit others unless you have to!"  
  
"I /did/ have to!" But at the narrowing of her father's eyes, she shrank back.  
  
"Shikamaru...." The dark haired man growled. "Did you call her that?"  
  
He looked away, knowing better than to lie to his father. "Yes, Dad."  
  
"Why?"  
  
When he looked up at Ino, she realized that once he opened his mouth, she was going to be in /big/ trouble. Instead, Shikamaru looked down at the table.  
  
"Because she doesn't know anything."  
  
His father snarled and clonked his fist against Shikamaru's head. "Don't be rude, boy." His voice was a low growl, almost inaudible. "Don't assume about anyone, especially someone you don't know. It makes you look dumb. Now apologize."  
  
She thought it was odd that Shikamaru's shoulders tensed slightly at the word 'dumb'. But, with a deep breath, he said, "I'm sorry I called you stupid." And she was dumbstruck.  
  
"Well?" Her father prompted.  
  
"Um.... I'm sorry, too." She shyly looked at the table. "For.... you know."  
  
"Un...."  
  
The two adults looked at their children with a slight measure of amusement. "Well," the blonde said, looking at the menu. "It seems like we'll have a nice, peaceful lunch. Shall we eat?"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The two children didn't speak much to each other after that, but Ino immensely enjoyed being with her godfather. She couldn't help but think it was funny the way he kept getting her father mad at him. The two had even gotten into a playful scuffle and Ino cheered for them both. Shikamaru, though, kept to himself the entire time and Ino decided that she didn't like him. Of course, she didn't understand why he didn't tell on her for being mean and she was thankful that he didn't....  
  
'But boring people are boring.' She decided. 'Especially when they're boys.'  
  
But, as the families were about to spilt up, a jounin caught up to them, scroll in hand. "Nara!" He called. The man turned around, frown on his face as he recognized the messenger.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Sencho wants to see you. He says it's important."  
  
He scowled. "It's my day off."  
  
"He says it's important." The other repeated.  
  
He looked at the others. Yamanaka shrugged. "Group leader's orders take precedence...." He said lamely.  
  
"Yeah, I know.... What is it?" He asked the jounin.  
  
"It's a new mission. They need your shadow talent."  
  
"Great...." Looking down at his son, he knelt. "Hey, Shika."  
  
It was obvious in his eyes the boy knew what he was going to say. "Yeah, Dad?"  
  
"I'm gonna take you home, okay? Finish your homework and I'll be back later."  
  
"I already did my homework." He muttered.  
  
"Oh...." Uncomfortably he looked away. Years of leaving at a moment's notice never made these sorts of situations any easier. Especially when the boy began to show signs of becoming reclusive. "Well, just...." he frowned, "I'll be back as soon as I can."  
  
Shikamaru looked up at his father with hurt eyes. "You said you'd spend the day with me...." he said quietly.  
  
With a growl, the older man ducked his head. "I know, boy, I wanted to. But...."  
  
"Oi, Nara." He looked up at his friend. "He can stay with us until you get back."  
  
Shikamaru looked over at him in surprise and his father looked hopeful. "You sure?"  
  
"No worries."  
  
With a wide grin, he ruffled his son's hair. "There, you get some company. Be good, okay?"  
  
"Okay, Dad."  
  
"C'mon, Shikamaru." Ino's father held out his hand. Uncertainly, the young boy reached out and took hold. When he looked back, his father and the jounin had already disappeared. Quietly, he turned and followed his godfather back to his home.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Ino, protesting having a boy in her home, decided she'd rather spend her time with her mother, even if it was spent working in the shop. Her father, however, tried all he could to have Shikamaru open up a little bit.  
  
He wasn't really getting anywhere, either. For ten minutes, after his bedding was set up, he just sat at one of the windows and stared out into the sky. He didn't think he ever seen a boy so young act so solitary. Nara said his boy was very mature and smart for his age, but it was said with a bitterness in it.  
  
He obviously didn't mature because he wanted it. It was because he was always alone.  
  
"Hey, Shikamaru." The tall blonde sat next to him. "Do you want to play a game?" The boy shrugged. "C'mon, you play Go?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Here, I'll teach you how." He went over to one of the cupboards and brought out the wooden playing board. "Ino and my wife thinks it's a boring game." He gave Shikamaru a quick wink. "It's because they're girls."  
  
He was pleased when Shikamaru grinned a bit.  
  
"Maybe you'll like it." He set out the pieces, explaining the rules to the young boy. To his surprise, Shikamaru quickly caught on to the game, though he was still far from being a challenge. He watched the child as he studied the board. "Shikamaru...."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
He tried not to sound cruel. "You get left alone a lot, don't you?"  
  
Softly, Shikamaru flickered his eyes up, then back at the black and white pieces. "Yes."  
  
"Don't you ever get upset?"  
  
"It's his job. I know he can't help it."  
  
"I know." Yamanaka nodded. "I used to work with him, I used to get called away a lot, too. But," he asked gently, "don't you get upset? Ino always complained whenever I left."  
  
He hunched over slightly. "....There's no point." Because he had no one to complain to.  
  
"You can always come over here if you ever get lonely."  
  
Shikamaru shook his head. "I don't get lonely anymore. I'm used to it."  
  
"Don't you have any friends to stay with?"  
  
"No."  
  
His complete focus was turned on the small boy. "No one ever gets used to being alone. No one can survive being alone."  
  
"I'm not alone." Shikamaru whispered. "I have Dad." When he's there....  
  
"He worries about you, you know. Being left alone all the time. He hates it, he thinks it's his fault that you seem so withdrawn."  
  
There was a long pause. "It's not Dad's fault Mom left." He said before he slid out of his seat. "I'm going to sleep. Good night." The man winced at the flatness of his voice, but said nothing as the other left.  
  
Leaning back, he let out a huff. "Damn, Nara. Your kid is a piece of work...."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
There was a letter under the door to the flower shop the next morning. It was from Shikamaru's father just before he left on his mission. It said that it would take him a couple days to get back and how much he appreciated their help. Yamanaka just ruffled Shikamaru's hair and laughed.  
  
"I always wanted to have another man around the house. Even for a little while."  
  
"Papa!" Ino pouted. "You said I wouldn't have ta live with a boy!"  
  
"It's only for a few days, Princess."  
  
"But.... you have to take him to class!"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
She scowled. "So that means that you have to take /both/ of us to our classes! I don't wanna be seen with a boy! My friends will think I like him or something."  
  
He knelt and patted her head, humor on his face. "Don't worry, Princess. It'll only be once or twice." She huffed, but said nothing else.  
  
But, things didn't go so well when they got back. Supposedly the children were doing their homework while Ino's parents worked in the shop. But when her mother went up the stairs....  
  
"That's mine too! Don't touch it!"  
  
Shikamaru scowled at Ino. "What /isn't/ yours?"  
  
"Everything is mine!" She was nearly on the verge of shouting. "This is my home so everything is mine!"  
  
"It's your parents' stuff."  
  
"No!" Ino insisted. "It's mine and you can't touch it!"  
  
He rolled his eyes, trying to keep his patience. "Then where do I do my homework?"  
  
"In /your/ home!"  
  
Her mother finally made her presence known. "What's going on here?"  
  
Ino pointed at Shikamaru. "He's trying to use my stuff without permission!"  
  
"I just wanna do my homework." He grumbled in defense.  
  
"Do it somewhere else!"  
  
"Ino," her mother tried to reason, "where is he supposed to go?"  
  
"His home." She repeated with force.  
  
"Honey, he has no one at home."  
  
"It's not /my/ fault everyone left him. No one likes a dumb boy."  
  
Shikamaru grew stiff at the comment and before either children could react, her mother scored a sharp hit across her daughter's cheek.  
  
"Don't you ever say that again." She said, trembling in rage. Ino looked up, hurt. Her parents had never hit her face before. And never had she been disciplined in front of others. "Don't dare talk like that again. Shikamaru's father is a good man and he'd never just leave him. Apologize to him."  
  
Ino looked up at her mother's steeled eyes, refusing to relent. Her lower lips trembled and she finally shouted out, "No! He's stupid and he's ugly and I hate him!" She ran into her room and slammed the door, throwing things occasionally just to remind her mother that she was mad.  
  
The older woman looked at the boy. "I'm sorry, Shikamaru. Ino's just not used to having someone else around."  
  
But he shook his head. "It's okay. Some people were meant to be alone." He picked up his homework and made a spot in the corner. Ino's mother just felt like crying for him.  
  
Not long after, Ino's father went to the girl's room. She was more of a daddy's girl, always listened to him whenever there was something she didn't understand. It wasn't because she didn't like her mother, she just wanted to be as strong and respected as her father was.  
  
"Ino, Princess." He called softly as he opened the door. "Can I come in?"  
  
"Un...." She sniffled, curled on her bed.  
  
"Princess, why did you say that to him?" Her father asked as he sat next to her.  
  
"Because he /is/ a stupid boy." She grumbled. But her defense seemed weak- even to her -against the steady calm of her father.  
  
"Why do you call him that? Has he been mean to you?"  
  
"....No." She admitted lamely.  
  
"Then why are you mean to him?"  
  
"Because he deserves it."  
  
"Deserves it how?"  
  
She glared at her father. "You don't care. You'll take his side because you're a boy, too!"  
  
He gave her a gentle smile. "I thought I was Papa."  
  
"You are, but you're also a boy. So you'll take his side."  
  
"Ino," he said softly, "I'm not taking anyone's side. I just don't understand why you're mean to him. I didn't raise my little girl like that, did I?"  
  
"No, Papa." She shook her head.  
  
"Then why does he deserve it? He has it very hard you know."  
  
"Why do /we/ have to take care of him?"  
  
"He doesn't have anyone. You know that."  
  
"But he /likes/ being alone!" She insisted.  
  
"I doubt that."  
  
"But he does! He doesn't know how to appreciate having a family because he's always alone!"  
  
"Ino." He said with gentle force, expression hard. "He doesn't want to be alone. No one does."  
  
"And how do you know?" There were little tears in her eyes, face flushed from her anger.  
  
"Because he's just like his father. And I know his father better than anyone." He rested against the wall, legs extended. With an open hand, he coaxed Ino to him, half holding her in his lap. "Nara and I have been friends since the academy, since we were genin. He helped me through so much, he may not seem very serious and maybe a bit too lazy, but I never knew anyone as loyal or dependable as him." He squeezed her gently. "He helped me get through the.... misunderstanding between your mama's family and me. Shikamaru's only a day older than you, you know."  
  
Ino blinked in surprise. "Really?"  
  
"Yup." He smiled. "He loved his wife so much. Almost as much as I love your mama."  
  
"Then why did she leave? She did really leave, right?"  
  
"Yes, she left." The smile left and he looked down. "There were a lot of reasons why."  
  
"Did she stop loving them?"  
  
"No, that wasn't it...." He tried to think of a way to explain it so she'd understand. "She was just.... restless. She didn't want to stay in this village, just being the wife of a jounin. She wanted to do something for herself and she didn't feel she could do it here."  
  
"And she left because of that?"  
  
"Nara had responsibilities here. And he already had a good paying job. There was no point in taking Shikamaru with her."  
  
Ino pouted. "How old was he?"  
  
"He was about.... Two years old, I believe. It broke Nara up when his wife left." He held Ino tightly. "I don't think I'd be able to do as well as he did if either you or your mama left me."  
  
"I wouldn't be happy if you or Mama left, either."  
  
Her father smiled sadly at her. "Think how he feels. His mama left him, he barely sees his papa because he has to work a lot for both of them. Think about how sad and alone he feels. And think about how much it hurts when someone says that the reason why he's alone is because no one likes him."  
  
"....." Ino frowned, dwelling on her father's words, wishing that she could take her own back. "I'm sorry, Papa."  
  
"I'm not the one you hurt, Ino." He said softly. "Go apologize to Shikamaru."  
  
"Okay."  
  
The little boy was by the window again, his unofficial reserved seat of the house. He waited patiently as Ino's mother cooked in the small kitchen. Ino stood by the door and cleared her throat. At the sound, Shikamaru turned and looked at her.  
  
Then turned right back to the window.  
  
She frowned, confused. Behind her was her father and at her inquiring look, he gave her a supportive smile and a nod. Taking a deep breath, she went over to the dark haired boy. He didn't pay her any attention, just looked out the window. She stepped in front of him and his gaze went to a different patch of sky. Anywhere she moved, his eyes just went elsewhere.  
  
Finally, her temper snapped. "Will you look at me?"  
  
"Why?" His eyes still didn't fall on her.  
  
"Because I wanna say I'm sorry and I can't do that unless you look at me!" There was a moment and then Shikamaru slowly turned to look at her, somewhat surprised. At his dark eyes, her courage faltered and she felt unbelievably shy. "So, um...." She blushed and looked away. "I'm sorry."  
  
"....okay." He said slowly. Ino blinked.  
  
"That's it?"  
  
He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."  
  
Incredulously she asked, "You forgave me?"  
  
Shikamaru looked confused. "Yeah...."  
  
"Just like that?"  
  
"Do you want me to still be upset?"  
  
"Well, no, just...." She couldn't think of any reason.  
  
"Look," Shikamaru crossed his arms, brow furrowed, "you're sorry. I'm used to it so I don't care. So don't worry."  
  
"You're used to it?" She gaped. "People make fun of you?"  
  
He shrugged. "Some kids in my class."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I don't have a Mom. And Dad's out most of the time." He shrugged. "And I don't have any friends."  
  
"You don't?"  
  
"No. No one really does like me."  
  
"That's not true!" The force of her words took her by surprise. "Your papa does! That's why he always comes back!" Ino didn't think she ever said words with that much conviction before. "And Papa and Mama like you! So don't say no one does or else.... Or else I'll hurt you for calling Mama and Papa liars!"  
  
He sat there, shocked, looking at Ino. Then, slowly, the corners of his mouth softened into an odd sort of smile. "You're a strange girl." He said, but she took no insult. Instead, she beamed, same wide grin on her face that always made Sakura smile.  
  
"Maybe. But it's better than being plain."  
  
And for the first time since she met him, Shikamaru laughed.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was three days later when Shikamaru's father finally returned. Ino's father escorted him up from the flower shop, the two talking and laughing up the stairs. Shikamaru was already on his feet, recognizing his father's deep voice at an instant.  
  
"Dad!" He ran towards the tall, stopping just short of him. His father never was much for public affection and the last thing Shikamaru wanted was to appear overly anxious or joyous that his dad had arrived.  
  
"Shika!" He dispelled all of the boy's thoughts by sweeping him into a huge bear hug. "How's my boy been? Not been causing trouble, have you?"  
  
"Your boy is something, Nara." Ino's father said. "He's been a great kid."  
  
"Don't ever be afraid to stop by, even for a minute." His wife said, greeting the dark haired man with a quick hug. "It's been so long!"  
  
"I'd love to stay, but I gotta take the boy back home so he can give me a foot rub, eh?" He ruffled his son's hair.  
  
Shikamaru wrinkled his nose. "Dad~!"  
  
"I'm kidding, boy." He shook his friend's hand. "Thank you so much for looking after him, Yamanaka. You don't know how much I appreciate it."  
  
"It was a pleasure, Nara. If you ever leave for a while again, we'll be willing to watch over him."  
  
"Ino, honey." Her mother went to where Ino sat in a nearby chair, scroll in front of her. "Aren't you going to say goodbye?"  
  
"Shikamaru!" The little girl called out as he and his father turned to leave. At the sound of his name, he looked over his shoulder. "If you smile a bit more," she said importantly, "I might like you, too."  
  
He blinked. Then blushed. He turned back to his father, shy smile obvious, even from behind. "U-Un."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
I love talking to some of my friends. We come up with some of the strangest ideas. One of which being Ino's dad isn't the most.... 'traditional' men around. Meaning, he knocked up Ino's mom and got into /BIG/ trouble with his inlaws. Shikamaru's dad just sort of struck me as a smooth talker for some reason and we hypothosized that he managed to calm down Ino's mom's family enough to get a shotgun (or a knife point) wedding^__________^  
  
In the case of Shikamaru's family, since there really wasn't any background on his mother, I had it that she left when he was around two years old. However, in chapter 172, his dad said something about his mom that I didn't understand and I already had everything planned out so.... *cries* I didn't mean to have something conflict! Oh, the pains of being anal retentive!  
  
But, anyway, I'm assuming that the shinobi are more like the military of Konoha and that it's a large militaristic village. But, obviously there's some civilians living there (the owner of the ichiraku, being one) and the shinobi that retire have to do something, so Ino's dad is a retired ninja who runs a family business. And, built up from personal experience, he'd probably be getting more money than someone working in the military.  
  
Even given money to pay for food, housing and not having to deal with electricity and water bills, I'm sure shinobi don't get paid very much and so, also from personal experience, a single father with a relatively high rank on the enlisted side gets paid barely enough to live comfortably with kids. Forgiving the fact that I have a brother and I made Shikamaru a single child.....  
  
Also, like my own father, Shikamaru's had to work a lot, mainly odd hours and never really saw him a lot. They also seem to have the kind of relationship I have with my dad, comfortable and able to speak freely but with a sort of distance due to the parent being away most of the time.  
  
Anyway, Ino and Shikamaru are around 8 in this fic and it's pretty much the first time they (can recall) met. And because I can never remember their fathers' names, I just had them call each other by their last names which is has most guys refer to each other, anyway. Unless their close, but.....^^;; But, enough of that. I don't think author's notes are generally supposed to be this long so I'll stop rambling :P 


	2. Pragmatism

Stumbling Blind 2. Pragmatism  
  
bgm- "All I Want", Toad the Wet Sprocket  
  
Tomorrow..... Shikamaru scowled to himself. Tomorrow would be the start of hell.  
  
Again.  
  
He spent damn near four years of his life trying to graduate from the academy. Because his father wanted him to. And after heaving to deal with a son like him for twelve years and counting, he figured he'd do something (sort of) in return.  
  
And, he supposed, becoming a genin seemed fine enough.  
  
Except now- he resisted the urge to stick out his tongue -he was also expected to undergo the chuunin trials, as well. Needless to say, that was not something he was really willing to commit any effort to. His life, his dream was all centered around simple and unobtrusive. Nothing complex, nothing that required him doing much of /anything/ but being the lazy, inert slacker everyone thought he was.  
  
Damn, he was such a pushover.....  
  
The sun was starting to descend into the tree-jagged skyline, he figured he had a good two hours before his father would start to worry.  
  
.....If he was there.  
  
This time he didn't squelch the urge to shake his head. That was unfair, he knew it wasn't his father's fault, being a single parent. Besides, it's not like he had as many or as high ranking missions as he did ten years ago.  
  
Mood soured far more than usual, he laid his arms out against the railing of the bridge that crossed over the only, small stream that ran through Konoha. Chin in the folds of his arms and deep in his uncharacteristic funk, he failed to notice the other person there.  
  
"Bad day?"  
  
At first, Shikamaru didn't seem to have heard the voice (actually, he didn't think someone was actually trying to speak to him). Then, he suddenly jerked upright and turned the look at the speaker with a vaguely surprised look.  
  
He knew that voice. It didn't speak to him as often as it used to, mainly because of conflicting schedules. She took her classes during the morning and the only times they crossed paths was when she stayed late as his afternoon courses were about to begin. But even then they rarely spoke.  
  
She scowled. "Are you going to say anything or stare like you're stupid?"  
  
"Ino." He said simply.  
  
She waited for a moment. Then, "....Yes?"  
  
There was a long pause as they just regarded each other, Ino with growing impatience. "What?" He asked innocently.  
  
"Aren't you going to say anything?"  
  
Shikamaru thought. And he scratched the back of his neck. He had a feeling this was one of those 'trick questions' his father said women liked to play. "....No?"  
  
That apparently wasn't the right thing to say because she threw up her hands in exasperation. "Then why did you act like you were going to?"  
  
"Were going to what?"  
  
"Were going to say something!"  
  
"What am I supposed to say?"  
  
With a strangled noise, Ino snapped her head in another direction. After a few moments- in which Shikamaru deemed it was safe to ignore her again -she turned back to him with a forced, yet calmer air.  
  
"Okay, let's start that again." With a smile only Ino could pull, she asked sweetly, "Bad day?"  
  
Shikamaru shrugged.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"C'mon!" She gave him her winning smile, which, to him, was more like a deceitful version of her bossy smile. "Tell me!"  
  
He cast her a sidelong look, brow furrowing slightly. "It's nothing important."  
  
Knowing that she wouldn't get her way (this time), she turned towards the twilight of the eastern horizon. "You here for the clouds, too?"  
  
He looked at her as if /she/ were stupid. "What?"  
  
"The clouds!" She pointed to the fluffs in the distance, tye-dyed from the sunset. "Aren't they gorgeous?"  
  
Shikamaru looked at the clouds, then Ino, then the clouds, then Ino again. ".....they're clouds." He said intelligently.  
  
"Obviously." She snapped. She tried to regather her scattering good mood. "But aren't they pretty? They're my favorite clouds."  
  
Shikamaru felt his eye twitch. Favorite cloud? Who the hell had a favorite cloud?  
  
"Don't act as if I lost my mind! Besides, you're the one that's always looking at them."  
  
He frowned at her. He didn't watch the clouds because they're 'pretty'. He looked at them because of the pattern they cast in the sky. How they formed, how they moved, how they broke up the monotony of blue span of sky. With the amount of time he spent studying the sky, he could've been an accomplished weatherman if he applied himself- knowing the differences in the type of clouds in the sky, how they moved, the differences in pressure or their color and thickness. He liked looking at the sky and clouds because despite how consistent they were, they were never the same. A change he loved to see.  
  
That wasn't something she could understand and he let her know in a snort. "You're weird."  
  
She smacked his shoulder. "How can you say that?" He didn't know how he could think any differently. "Look at them! All sorts of different colors, they're so pretty! Don't you wish you were a cloud?"  
  
He couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the thought. "A cloud? Why a cloud?"  
  
"Because," she gave him an askew grin, "you don't have to do anything. Just floating around in the sky, not worrying about anything, going where the wind takes you." Her grin became all the more evil. "Perfect for someone like you."  
  
He thought he should've felt insulted at the comment. But he thought and- though it was an absurd idea -it held an odd ringing that he sort of..... connected with? He shook his head. "Perfect for someone with no sense of reality." Shikamaru gave her a look that said something akin to: 'Speaking of which....'  
  
Ino immediately became defensive. "What?" Her voice was harsh. And when he started looking her up and down, eyeing especially her legs and slim waist, she resisted the urge to punch him. "/What/?"  
  
Finally, as if putting together some puzzle that still left him confounded, Shikamaru stated: "You're wearing binds."  
  
"Yeah? So?"  
  
He lifted his head up as if it were a distasteful subject. "An adolescent wearing binds around your thighs, hips and waist."  
  
Ino couldn't help a bit of color creeping into her cheeks, arms crossed over her waist. "So what?"  
  
"Don't you know how dangerous that is?"  
  
She blinked. That wasn't what she was expecting to hear. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Binding is a defunct form of physical mutilation." He pointed out, voice like a dull lecture and half turning back to the eastern horizon. "Tightly binding your body parts everyday, especially during the age when your body grows keeps the muscles and bones from fully forming." He pointed to Ino's feet. "Used to be that they'd bind little girl's feet to keep them small. But they realized that all those that bound their feet ended up getting bone damage later in their lives."  
  
Ino was..... speechless.  
  
What was she supposed to say in response to something like that?  
  
Shikamaru seemed to realize this and sighed. "Why'd you do something like that to yourself, anyway?"  
  
For a while, she thought. ".....Your ears are pierced." She pointed out. "That's physical mutilation."  
  
"It doesn't cause adverse health effects."  
  
True, true.....  
  
"I just...." as Ino thought, the words suddenly popped out before she could even realize it, "did for Sasuke-kun."  
  
So startled by what she had said, she failed to notice a slight darkening of Shikamaru's features. "Sasuke, huh?" He shouldn't have been surprised. Or upset. But he just kept getting annoyed. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Couldn't any of these girls think about something different? He flickered a dark eye towards the blonde kunoichi. "Has he noticed you, yet?"  
  
Ino stiffened. "Huh?"  
  
"Has Sasuke noticed you've been doing that for him? Has he realized you've forced yourself to be thinner and shapelier for him?" He couldn't help sneering a bit. "I hope you aren't anorexic or bulimic or anything, as well."  
  
She colored badly. "What's with you, anyway?" She tried not to make her tension so obvious, but her fingers digging bruises into her elbow wasn't so convincing.  
  
Shikamaru pushed away from the railing. "Nothing, forget it."  
  
"No," she moved in front of him, "tell me." He rolled his eyes and moved to the side, only to have her sidestep ahead of him again. "Tell me."  
  
"Che. Forget it."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
He gave her a /look/. "Why?"  
  
"I want to know why you don't like Sasuke-kun." She insisted.  
  
"It's nothing important, all right?"  
  
"Then tell me."  
  
He looked away, trying to hold back a sneer. Geez, what was wrong with this girl? Couldn't she just leave it alone? He wondered if it would just be easier if he told her so he could /leave/. From the look on her face, she definitely wasn't going to let it go.  
  
"Fine." Shikamaru looked away, rubbing the back of his head. "It's not that I dislike the guy, I just....." he thought for a moment. "Don't like him."  
  
Ino's eye twitched. "What sense does that make?"  
  
"There's nothing about him I like, that's all. But I don't actually /not/ like him. I'd just rather not have to deal with him if I didn't have to."  
  
"Then why were you so upset at me?"  
  
Shikamaru looked at her, crease between his brows deepening. "I wasn't upset."  
  
"Yes, you were."  
  
"No, I just think what you're doing is really stupid."  
  
Her face colored with insult. "Stupid?! What's so stupid about looking the best you can!?"  
  
"The fact that it hurts you in the long run? Or maybe because the one you're doing this for doesn't care?"  
  
She couldn't think of anything in response. So she kicked him. In the shins. "Shut up! I'm doing the best I can so he /will/ notice me and he /will/ realize that he loves me!"  
  
"Ow, stop it!" He hopped back, leaning against the bridge rail, rubbing his red shin. "He doesn't even know you, how's he supposed to like you?"  
  
If anyone could part a sea, Shikamaru could do it with logic. And stopping Ino in mid-temper tantrum- /and/ making her wonder /why/ she was even throwing one -was probably his piece de resistance to date. No sound came out of her mouth as she stood there and /gaped/ at him.  
  
Curious, Shikamaru moved a bit closer to her. "Ino? Ino....."  
  
"It doesn't matter!" She demanded with the finality of an adolescent with a mission and an impossible crush. "He'll get to know me. And he'll love me. That's all that matters."  
  
"Right, right." He waved her away with an expression meaning he had reached his tolerance of her illogical thought process. "I'll see you later, all right?"  
  
But, before he could step off the bridge, Ino was walking next to him. "Shikamaru."  
  
Holding back a strained noise, he said, "Hm?"  
  
"You're going to be there tomorrow, right? To the team assignments?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Who do you think you'll end up with?"  
  
"Ha?" He gave her an odd look. "What're you talking about?"  
  
"Who do you want on your team?" She repeated. "I want to be with Sasuke- kun!" She squealed. "And the Sakura will be on some loser team, crying because Sasuke-kun will be mine for certain!" She giggled.  
  
"And who'd be your third member?"  
  
"Huh?" She looked at Shikamaru, temporarily forgetting what she was talking about.  
  
"The third member?"  
  
"Oh. Um...." she thought. "Well, a lot of the guys are stupid or don't like Sasuke-kun at all..... and I don't want any other girls getting near Sasuke-kun." She thought some more. "But, Hinata seems nice, and I think she likes someone else, anyway. Or you." She said simply. "You wouldn't bother Sasuke-kun and you wouldn't get in my way."  
  
Shikamaru snorted. "So?" Ino asked him. "What about you?"  
  
With a sigh, he decided to humor her. Because it was easier than ignoring her as she- somehow -roped him into walking her home with her complaining to him the entire way. He didn't really pay attention to the kids outside of his class. Oh, everyone knew about Sasuke's genius ability, Shino's stoic composure and Sakura aceing all the written tests. In his class Kiba and Akamaru were always making trouble. By themselves if not with Naruto, probably the closest thing blonde had to a friend though they were generally fighting most of the time. Chouji spent his time eating and Hinata kept to herself.  
  
And as he thought.... he measured strengths and weakness. "I'd say the best team for me would be...." Ino blinked when he looked at her. "You, me and Chouji."  
  
She abruptly stopped. "Eh?" He kept walking, not even noticing he was suddenly alone. "W-Wait!" She hurried to follow him. "What makes you think that!? Why don't I get to be with Sasuke-kun??"  
  
"Because," he said simply, "we'd compliment each other well. Chouji doesn't have much skill or intelligence, but he's dependable and he's got power. With the proper motivation, he'd take on an entire army. More likely than not, you'd be the leader and I'll just go along with everything."  
  
"But.... But....! Sasuke-kun!"  
  
Shikamaru shrugged. "He'll be in someone else's team."  
  
"But I want him to be on /my/ team!"  
  
He resisted the urge to smack his head. "Look, I told you what I thought. You can dream about being on a team with Uchiha until we get our assignments tomorrow. Okay?"  
  
She huffed. "I will! And tomorrow, I won't have to dream anymore!"  
  
"Right...." He turned and waved her off. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ino."  
  
"Eh?" She looked around and found herself standing in front of the flower shop, sky a nice shade of night. "Oh. Um, good night."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
As you can tell, this is supposed to take place the night before everyone gets assigned to their teams. Anyway, as far as this 'bridge' is concerned, I haven't actually seen anything involving a river in the map Kishimoto-san made in the Official Fan Book, but I'm assuming that they get water from /somewhere/. Unless it's an underground spring....^^;; Anyway, I needed a river because it plays another part in a different chapter.  
  
I put it that Shikamaru and Ino aren't in the same class. After I had them meeting four years earlier, I had to find a way to keep them from acting so familiar since they don't in the manga. So, I guess a couple years would split them apart enough. Also, I don't know what age they usually start training, but I'm assuming that, in the manga, Konohamaru had, at least, just recently started his training. And given that he's eight, I'm assuming that they start training at around that age. So I suppose you could say the reason they met four years ago was in case they got into the same class^^;; (it was coincidence now that i look back on it....)  
  
I don't know what the obsession it is with my friend and clouds. Or at least a certain type of cloud *forgot what they're called* but it really sort of annoys me every time she has to point them out If she said 'I wish I were a cloud.' I'd agree, but.....  
  
Really, though, the set up of Team 10 is perfect when you think about it. The way that they interact, they have teamwork down, easy. Other characters would either clash with one of the existing team members, annoy them beyond belief or just not do anything at all. On an added note about Chouji: in volume 9, chapter 81, he was willing to fight against Gaara. I think an army is just slightly below Gaara's power, so I don't think it's so farfetched an idea^^;; Also in volume 18, chapter 154, it shows Chouji, Kiba, Shikamaru and Naruto in the same class, all getting in trouble by Iruka-sensei (they're all so cute!).  
  
I like to do research, having things completely off base or impossible generally doesn't sit well with me. But I'm just anal like that^^;; 


	3. Drawn and Quartered

Stumbling Blind 3. Drawn and Quartered  
  
bgm- "Been Here Once Before", Eagle Eye Cherry  
  
No one really had a problem with their team assignments. The instructors, of course, were briefed on their team before hand and therefore really had no problems. In fact, with this particular class, the instructors were rather looking forward to the potential in their teams. Team 7 was.... well, they all had problems and already other students and faculty members were betting heavily that they probably wouldn't succeed. Especially given their teacher.  
  
Team 10....  
  
Now that was more like a joke.  
  
Shikamaru had told Ino that they'd go for teams that can cover each other's weaknesses. He had given her fair warning. But that didn't stop her from yelling at her new teammates for not being Sasuke. She had chewed them out on everything from having to be on her team to not getting in her way or, for that matter, even talking to her. Chouji really didn't pay attention and Shikamaru just ignored her. They knew well enough the touch-sensitive triggers of a woman's temper.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Asuma-sensei, as it turned out, was a rather welcoming individual. Right after meeting the trio in their classroom, he immediately took them out to eat. On him. Shikamaru wondered if he knew what he was getting into and if he'd treat them often with someone like Chouji on their team. But then, seeing as it was the Ichiraku, he didn't really have to worry about spending /much/ money....  
  
He had talked to them a bit, lighting up a cigarette as the kids ate. Ino barely touched her food and Shikamaru slowly downed his portion, counterpoint to Chouji as he inhaled his with much gusto. Asuma, it seemed, was already on Chouji's favorites list (as was anyone that gave him free food) and Shikamaru was gradually beginning to warm up to him when he was suddenly challenged to a game of Go. The older man talked about their fathers a bit, exchanged his likes and dislikes with theirs. He had even gone so far as to call them adorable. Shikamaru didn't know what to make of that and Ino might've giggled if she wasn't sulking. Chouji just beamed and asked for another bowl.  
  
Over half the day had gone by the time Asuma had decided to part with his new team, fawning terribly over them. But, he had said before they left for their separate ways:  
  
"Tomorrow I want to do a little test. It won't be hard, I just want to see first hand what I have to work with." He gave him another of his fatherly smiles. The boys couldn't help but look forward to what he had planned, small smiles on their own faces. Asuma flickered a look at Ino who was still ignoring the world and moping like it was cool. "Tomorrow after lunch, I'm going to meet the three of you outside the main doors of the academy and from there, we'll go to the testing area. I'll brief you there." With a puff and a smile and a quick wave, the jounin turned and walked off, somehow whistling as smoke wafted around his head.  
  
"What do you think?" Shikamaru asked, hands deep in his pockets. The lines on his face smoothed out a bit from earlier that day. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he was slightly anxious that his teacher would be anal and strict (he'd seen the type of teachers those like Gai and Kurenai were).  
  
"I like him!" The rotund boy said cheerfully, muffled by the chips he was currently storing in his cheeks.  
  
"Besides the fact that he bought us food?"  
  
"He's cool." Chouji nodded his head, taking time to swallow. "He has a calm air and he genuinely seemed interested in working with us."  
  
That's what he liked best about Chouji. He was observant whereas no one else thought he would be. But, he supposed, everyone had their secret talents. Shikamaru looked over at Ino.  
  
"Oi, Ino. What'd you think?"  
  
She whirled and glared at the two with such intensity that Chouji reflexively swallowed a partly chewed chip and repressed the gag reflex out of sheer terror.  
  
"Go away." She growled before she stalked off.  
  
The two boys stood in silence.  
  
"Not too happy with the team, is she?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
That night he had gone with Chouji to talk a bit with his parents. He figured he might as well seeing as the two were going to trust each other with their lives within a couple days. Of course, going over to the Akimichi house meant that he was staying for dinner. Which also meant that he wouldn't be able to get passed the appetizers before he got too full to eat anymore. But that was fine, Chouji and his dad fighting over his share tended to be rather entertaining.  
  
Honestly, though, Shikamaru didn't think he'd ever find a more comfortable and relaxed atmosphere than in Chouji's house. Even if they weren't as close friends as they were, Chouji was the kind of guy that opened his house to anyone he treated warmly- even though the only ones he did that to were his friends because most kids wouldn't give him the time of day. And, of course, their fathers were friends. And that meant Shikamaru could bum off a meal or two if his place ran out of food and emergency food funds.  
  
Chouji's dad had found out about their team assignments the day before. Due to his working in the admin section and being a well known and liked veteran around the place, it didn't take much work or sweet talking to find out. He claimed to know Asuma fairly well and assured them that he was, indeed, a good man and they really wouldn't have any problems with him. He was also thrilled that the children of his old team would be in a team together.  
  
So was Shikamaru's dad when he was told later that night.  
  
"Fate, boy!" He had laughed, swigging back a jar of sake. He said team assignments meant celebrating. This assignment in particular. "Your team will be just fine! Best in the village, I'm sure!"  
  
Shikamaru just raised an eyebrow at his father, not really sure how he should respond to that. In front of him was a small saucer half filled with sake. His father had said that drinking and high tolerance was in his bloodline, but he rarely drank; really only when his dad broke out the cups and told him to drink up. It just had a taste he didn't like and the only thing he found decently palatable was some of that sweet, imported stuff his father occasionally bought mixed in with a lot of tea.  
  
A heavy hand clamped onto his shoulder and suddenly Shikamaru found himself face to face with his father's flushed face. "Take good care of your team, boy. Treat them with respect and never, ever turn your back on them, okay?"  
  
He just bowed his head and watched the ripples that crossed the surface of his untouched drink.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The next afternoon was nice enough to train outside. Ino, however, thought it was a horrible, horrible day and made it evident to everyone around her.  
  
"Ah, here we are." Asuma said with a smile. He reached into his pocket and brought out a cigarette and a match. The three children looked around.  
  
"Why're we here?" Shikamaru asked. They had been told not to bring packs so it couldn't be some overnight survival training. Could it?  
  
"Just a small test, that's all." He whiffed out the match with a flick of his wrist, the lit white stick snugly tucked against his lips. "It's simple. You see that large hill up there?" Asuma jerked a thumb over his shoulder. The genin nodded. "On the top is a flag. Before nightfall, you have to reach that flag. You can use any technique you want to get there, but there's one limitation. The three of you are from families with powerful blood techniques. Through the course of this test, you are allowed to use these techniques once apiece."  
  
They looked at each other. Was that all? It didn't seem like a big limitation.  
  
"But." Their teacher cut in. "Half an hour after you start out, I'm going to be coming after you. Here's where it gets fun." He smiled and dug into his pouch, taking out six pieces of papers. "You each get one piece, I get the other three. My goal is to take the papers off all three of you or delay you from getting to the flag. Your goal is to either get the flag or get the papers off of me." His smile took a hunter's look. "Two ways to win, two ways to fail. The test begins now. Good luck."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The three raced through the woods, bounding off the trees and making a direct beeline for the hill. As five minutes until their pursuer began crept up on them, Shikamaru called out to Ino, dashing ahead of them. "Ino! Hey, Ino!" She ignored him. "INO!"  
  
"What?" She snapped irritably. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Normally he wouldn't have bothered, but this was important.  
  
"Ino, we have to make a plan!"  
  
She grasped a thick branch, swinging under it to flip onto a nearby one, coming to a stop. "What for?"  
  
The two boys landed near her. "Because Asuma-sensei is going to be coming after us in a bit. Remember?"  
  
Ino scowled. "Well if we kept going /forward/," she was talking down at him, the tone grating at his nerves, "we could get to the flag before he got near us."  
  
"Gimme a break. He's a jounin. He'll catch up with us before we realize it."  
  
"What do /you/ want to do, then?" She glared. "Fight him?"  
  
"Slow him down."  
  
"With what?"  
  
"Traps, obviously."  
  
Chouji watched the two warily. He could feel tensions rising.  
  
"That's just a waste of time!"  
  
"What would you rather us do?"  
  
She paused for a moment, lips set thinly as she thought. "Split up."  
  
The two boggled. "Split up?"  
  
"He needs to get all three of our papers for us to fail, right? So we split up, he can't get all three at once. Not to mention it would take him too much time to find all three of us. One of us is bound to get to the flag, first."  
  
Shikamaru scowled and crossed his arms. Chouji shifted, the branch rustled slightly under him. "I... don't like the idea."  
  
Ino shot the large boy a glare. "What?"  
  
"We split up," the dark haired boy said, "he can turn into one of us and take the paper before we knew it."  
  
"He can't get them all!" She shot.  
  
"He's better trained, Ino. He knows the forest better than us as it is. The three of us together don't have a chance against him. Even less apart."  
  
She sneered. "Fine. Do whatever you want. But I'll do things /my/ way." That said, she turned her back on the two and leapt off.  
  
"Ino, wait!" But she was already bounding out of sight. Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his neck.  
  
"What'll we do?" Asked Chouji. The other thought for a moment.  
  
"Follow her." He said. "I'll set up some traps to slow him down. Don't let me come near either you or Ino, okay?"  
  
Chouji squeaked slightly. "What? What am I supposed to do?"  
  
"Anything you can."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Stupid Shikamaru.... She thought. It's his fault I'm not with Sasuke-kun, anyway.  
  
In all honesty, she knew she was being harsh and unfair to her teammates, but she was mad. Sakura was with Sasuke. And she was stuck with /those/ two. She needed something to let it out on. It wasn't her fault they happened to be the most readily available 'things'.  
  
Frowning, she bound quickly over the trees. She was proud of her skills, but she knew well enough that no matter how great of a kunoichi she was, she'd still have to struggle to keep up with her male counterparts. Their natural strength and speed would overshoot hers if she gave herself a moment of rest.  
  
Something rustled around her, beyond the sound of wind in her ears and in the leaves. Sharply she glanced around. Someone was following her. Looking down she notice the angle of the shadows, stretching ahead of her. And she saw a large silhouette coming up quickly from behind.  
  
It couldn't be...! He couldn't have caught up that quickly!  
  
Ino reached into her pouch, bringing out a shuriken and a bandage. Tying the two together, she adjusted her path to run just to the right of a thick- bodied tree. As she passed by, she threw the shuriken into the trunk and using the shuriken and bandage to pivot she planted her feet against the side of a tree, her speed picking up from centrifugal force. Rounding the tree and her pursuer, Ino let the bandage go, leaping at the person through thick leaves, kunai in hand.  
  
There was a startled squeak as she landed heavily on the pursuit, hand instinctively grabbing at the flash of paper she saw, raising the kunai back to fend off any attacks-  
  
"CHOUJI!?"  
  
He looked sheepish, pressed up against a tree trunk with a girl one-third his girth pinning him down. "H-Hi, Ino."  
  
With a groan she pulled back. "You moron. I could've seriously hurt you."  
  
"It's okay." He rubbed the back of his head. "I guess I kinda deserved it...."  
  
Ino glared. "What are you doing here, anyway?"  
  
"Following you."  
  
"I know that!" She resisted the urge to stomp her foot. "I mean 'why'?"  
  
"Because-"  
  
"Ino, Chouji." The two looked in surprise as Shikamaru suddenly dropped into view. "Finally found you."  
  
"What do /you/ want?"  
  
He winced slightly at her suddenly cold tone. "Jeez, what do you have against me?"  
  
"I'll bet you're Asuma-sensei."  
  
"Well I can tell you I'm not."  
  
"Like he'd admit that he is." Ino put her hands to her hips. "Give me a break."  
  
"That's true." He nodded, walking towards them, hands in his pockets. "But I have proof that I'm not Asuma-sensei."  
  
"Oh yeah? How?"  
  
"Because I told Chouji something very important...." Suddenly, to Ino's surprise, he caught the rotund boy with a cross punch, sending him a good two trees down. With no more fanfare than a clenched fist and an out-of- character grin, Shikamaru's form erupted in a pillar of smoke. And suddenly Chouji was standing in his place. "To keep him away from both of us."  
  
She gaped. "But..."  
  
The other Chouji chuckled, rubbing his jaw absently. "That was a very nice hit. Clean, powerful, effective. Barely even saw it coming. But," there was a blast of smoke and Asuma sat there, grinning at them, "you neglect something very important..." He held up a hand. And in its grasp was a piece of paper.  
  
"What?" The large boy searched his body. "When did you-?"  
  
"Sleight of hand. One of the ninja's greatest assets." Both blondes blinked as Shikamaru- yet again –dropped down from above.  
  
"I swear, if another one of you does that...." Ino shook her head. He rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored her.  
  
"Good work, Chouji." He said, nodding to the other boy. The other grinned widely.  
  
That grin quickly faded, though, as Asuma leisurely got to his feet. "What do we do now?"  
  
"You two run for it while I distract him."  
  
"What?" Ino cried. "Why are /you/ giving out the orders? Why should I listen to you?"  
  
"Because out of the two of us, I'm the one making more sense." He said with narrowed eyes. To Chouji he said, "Take her and go. I'll catch up. Promise."  
  
He frowned, but nodded. "All right. You better."  
  
Asuma watched as the two bounded off, rolling his cigarette to one side as he blew smoke out the other corner of his mouth. Lazily he looked at Shikamaru. "Confident, are we?"  
  
"I don't stand a chance against you."  
  
His bushy eyebrows shot up. "So, what? Are you just going to let me run off after your friends?"  
  
"Of course not." Shikamaru scowled. "Even if going against you is more work than I'd like, I already said I'd cover them. I'm only buying them time, after all."  
  
Asuma smiled. It would be interesting to see what this boy had in mind.  
  
He brought his hands out of his pockets, flexing them as he widened his stance. Then, Shikamaru shot forward, at the same moment making three copies of himself. Bunshin no jutsu? The man grinned. He /was/ confident....  
  
To his surprise, though, the four figures split up, weaving through the trees and bushes, using the natural obstacles to his advantage. Damn, and he just /had/ to pick the forest as the testing ground, didn't he? He was a well-known tracker, infamous for always completing his missions in this terran so swiftly and deadly. But, dammit, he hated it when they used the terran against /him/. It made things so much harder.  
  
There was a rustling to his right and Asuma turned just enough to block a kick with his forearm. This was a copy, he knew. He felt no heat from the body, heard no heartbeat, saw no soul in its eyes. He twisted his arm around and thrust his palm through the boy's chest, form erupting into a puff of smoke as another one came at him from behind. That one, also, was easily dispatched of and the last one came at him from the other side. He flicked his cigarette at it's face, distracting it while he casually backhanded it out of existence. That was all three. All there was left was the real thing. Asuma looked around and found the boy a few meters away.  
  
Forming the In for the Kagemane.  
  
He cursed at himself. He shouldn't have been playing with the copies, they were just buying time for his family's signature move. There was no time to get close to him and, though this was considered 'real training', he didn't want to hurt him with a projectile. Asuma ran to a nearby thick trunk, focusing his chakura into his feet, drawing him close to the tree. He could feel the shadows surging around him as he ran, changing the polarization of his chakura to send him up faster and faster. As he reached the top, he changed the chakura to fully repel, sending him leaping high into the air. Twisting, he angled himself to land approximately where Shikamaru was stationed. Diving through the treetops, he reached out a hand, aiming to take the boy to the ground.  
  
Surprised at his teacher's reappearance directly above him, Shikamaru's eyes grew wide, unable to make a move. And as Asuma's hand clenched on his shoulder, he promptly vanished in a puff of smoke. Stunned, the teacher halted his descent a few branches down. He knew that feel. That was another clone. But.... he had taken care of them all before, hadn't he? Asuma frowned, thinking. He knew he did. He didn't see another one hiding in the group, not even a hint.  
  
Then he remembered the shadows. No, that was definitely Shikamaru. At least, before. He must've done another Bunshin no jutsu when Asuma left his realm of influence. He scowled to himself. He shouldn't have let the boy out of his sight.  
  
But, regardless, he smiled. The boy had potential. And if he got as good with the shadows as his father, he could track any creature setting foot in the forest. Judging from his mental capacity so far, he could probably figure out something more creative than that. That was the problem with chuunin instructors. Even though Iruka-sensei had put in remarks of the boy being more clever than one would initially think, he just had too many students to understand the depth of /all/ their skills.  
  
But at the rate they were going, it would take them a /loooong/ time to pass this test....  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Let's go!"  
  
"He'll be here soon, really."  
  
Ino scowled. "Look, you're the one that wanted to go! He said he'll catch up, right? So let him catch up!"  
  
The boy frowned at her. "He /did/ just help us both out. Shouldn't you be even a little grateful?" She glared and he quieted. He never liked confrontations.  
  
There was a sound of movement and the two turned, weapons in hand. "Relax," came a familiar voice, "it's only me."  
  
"H-How do we know?" Chouji asked as the dark haired boy emerged from the foliage. Shikamaru gave him a dull look. The other immediately grinned. "Nice work!"  
  
"How do you know that's him?" Ino shot out.  
  
"You just have to look at him." Chouji explained. "No one can do lazy and annoyed like Shikamaru!"  
  
He frowned flatly. "Thanks, Chouji." He sighed. "So, now that your plan cost us one of three papers, Ino, are you willing to work like a team, now?"  
  
"I could've handled it perfectly fine by myself!"  
  
"Oh? That's why you were just letting him go, huh?"  
  
Ino flushed. "I didn't!"  
  
"You thought it was Chouji." He said relentlessly. "You didn't listen to a word I said and it cost Chouji his sheet. And it nearly cost yours, too." He glared. "Almost one of our techniques, on top of that."  
  
She sneered. "Are you blaming all this on /me/?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And you can do better, huh?"  
  
"I think it's safe to assume I'm thinking more clearly than you are, right now."  
  
"And what's /that/ supposed to mean?"  
  
"You're acting too much like a brat to think things through."  
  
Ino bristled. "WHAT was that?"  
  
"If you listened to me-"  
  
"Oh, and what /about/ your mighty plan? Huh? Where were your traps then? How come he caught up with me so easily?"  
  
He frowned. "Those traps are setup in strategic places. If you're actually willing to listen-"  
  
"You've been doing absolutely /nothing/ for us!" She shouted.  
  
"Will you shut up? You'll bring him right to us." Shikamaru hissed.  
  
"So you can 'distract' him again? You probably just ran off and got lost as soon as we left!"  
  
The muscles between Shikamaru's shoulders tensed visibly. "I did what I said I'd do. This spot was already prearranged between me and Chouji, he wouldn't know where we went." He said through clenched teeth.  
  
"I don't believe you. You think you're so high and mighty just because I had the misfortune to be Asuma-sensei's first target. What would you say if /you/ were the one he went after, huh?" She sneered. "Don't be so egotistical."  
  
"I wouldn't seem like that if you'd pull your head out of your ass and /listen/."  
  
"WHAT!?" She swung at him, but Shikamaru jumped back. He knew he went well over the line and he hadn't meant to. It just came out.  
  
Hurt them just as bad as they hurt you, boy, his dad was fond of saying.  
  
He put on an irritated expression, hardly forced at all. "Will you calm down?"  
  
"No! You started saying all these stupid things and now you want me to calm down? You're such an idiot, Shikamaru!"  
  
Chouji shrank back from the two. He hated arguments and people yelling at each other. It always reminded him of bad memories and laying awake, listening to things he shouldn't be hearing during the night. But Ino and Shikamaru kept at it. The world didn't exist beyond them. To Shikamaru, Existence was Thought. To Ino, Existence was Being Right. And right now, the team wasn't big enough to tolerate them both.  
  
The dark haired boy glared at her, lips pulled across his teeth. "If you have something to say, stop whining and say it."  
  
Her mouth clicked closed and her face burned red. "ARGH! I hate you! You're so stupid, I can't stand it!" It looked like Ino was on the verge of pulling on her hair. "Why are you always giving me such a hard time? You treat everyone with respect but you seem to hate me for some dumb reason!"  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
She jabbed a slim finger in Chouji's general direction. "You give /him/ over there more respect than me! /WHY/? How come you're so nice to Chouji and not /me/?"  
  
Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "Because he doesn't call me stupid or lazy. And I don't call him fat."  
  
"What does /that/ have to do with anything?"  
  
"How about everything?"  
  
"Everyone should be treated with the same respect, Nara!"  
  
"Not to me they don't." His arms crossed over his chest. "Everyone's entitled to being treated with courtesy, it's a natural right. But you /earn/ respect. And for the passed day and a half, you've been proving you don't deserve even the slightest iota."  
  
Ino still looked angrily lost and Shikamaru wondered if anyone could be that thick. "What have I done that-"  
  
"How about the fact that you got mad at /us/ because you weren't put in a group with Sasuke? /We/ don't make team assignments. You've been calling us every insult you could think of since we were formed, you've been sulking, you've been ignoring us and you've done absolutely nothing to help us complete the test. You've been selfish, bratty and nothing but a pain in the ass. Why the hell should I respect anyone like /that/?"  
  
Ino opened her mouth to fire off whatever retort made it out first-  
  
Shikamaru's jaw was clenched.  
  
She noticed it for the first time. His face was flushed, hands trembling in fists by his side.... He was really worked up over this. Never in her entire memory could she recall Shikamaru being anything but apathetic. He never cared, he never exerted himself. And yet here he was, standing in front of her. /Angry/. At /her/.  
  
She looked away. She was still too grounded in her own world to admit she was wrong. "Fine." She hissed. "If that's how you feel, I don't care." She glared at him. "I can do this myself, I don't need help from you." She cast the same venomous look at Chouji. "Or you." With a huff, she turned on her heel and stalked deeper into the forest.  
  
Chouji shuffled a large foot, casting a timid glance at the other boy. "Anou....."  
  
"C'mon." Shikamaru said after pause. Though he seemed more collected, the vestiges of anger still colored his face. "She's still our teammate."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
She still had her paper, so- sooner or later –Asuma-sensei would be coming after her. And she was going to make sure that she could handle it. However, her argument with Shikamaru less than half an hour ago was still plaguing her mind and the only thing she was truly aware of was the angry thoughts streaming through her head. She didn't think about how protected she was as she built her trap, she didn't think about how well she was covering it up, she wasn't even aware that she was muttering to herself.  
  
"There." She said to herself, satisfied at the camouflage. "That'll do." Now she just had to make sure the bearded man walked into it: keep close to the trap without being too obvious about it. She huffed. Hopefully she didn't have to wait too long.  
  
In retrospect, she probably would've done better hoping that it would actually /work/.  
  
"Ho? All alone again?" She turned in surprise, Asuma was crouched down on a low branch, watching her. "Didn't you learn after the first time?"  
  
She frowned. "I'm more prepared, if that's what you mean."  
  
"Show me."  
  
Blue eyes narrowed, she stomped her foot on the ground behind her. Half of a trunk sprung up from the earth, shooting dozens of little projectiles at him. Asume easily jumped out of the way, landing on the ground and preparing to deal with the girl.  
  
Too far left! She had to get him into the trap no matter what! With a battle cry, Ino charged at him, kunai in hand. Don't try to fight him, that would be suicide. Just get him in position, that's all.  
  
Asume rolled his eyes. She couldn't be serious, could she? It was one thing thinking you were being charged at head on by a kid and three clones, but it was an entirely different level to be attack straight forward by one child.  
  
Using the bones of his knuckles he popped the kunai out of Ino's hands, making her fumble with it, slicing open one of her palms. Circling his palm around the wildly off-balanced girl, he redirected her momentum, sending her into the ground. In the middle of her own trap.  
  
She let out an inadvertent cry, rustling up the leaves that covered the crisscrossing wires. Belatedly she was amazed that she didn't set it off. Then the pain in her hand finally caught up with her. Biting her lip, Ino hugged her bleeding hand to her chest, turning to look at her teacher.  
  
Asuma let out a huff, slight frown etched on his face. "You kids aren't gonna make it. I expected /some/ sort of challenge."  
  
Ino glared, wishing her kunai were still in hand. Wishing her hand didn't hurt. And, most of all, wishing she were in /some/ sort of position to set off her trap. As it were, even if she set it off now, it wouldn't do much good getting caught up in it with him. Asuma took a step closer.  
  
"If I take your paper now, the three of you will be one step away from failing." He said lowly. "Aren't you going to do anything?"  
  
Her face grew darker. What was she supposed to do? Run? Not without risk of setting off the trap- Asuma seemed to have noticed it, easily bypassing the trip wires. Fight? Right, fighting a jounin instructor. That was most brilliant idea she'd ever heard all day.  
  
Suddenly, both of their attention was drawn to a whistling sound and a shuriken sunk into the ground between them. Ino's eyes widened and Asuma cursed, jumping back as the trap went off. She let out a small screech as the wires tangled around her and lifted her into the air. The bearded instructor was slightly impressed. Such a detailed trap laid down in a matter of minutes....  
  
He turned at the sound of running feet, expecting some stupid, bravado charge from the two boys, but instead, Shikamaru shot around him, using trees and branches as springboards. Leaping into the air, he tossed out several more shuriken, severing the lines of the trap. Shikamaru easily caught Ino as she began her drop and twisted around. "Chouji!"  
  
Asuma, having followed the young boy's movements, was slightly surprised to see the round-bodied boy suddenly standing in front of him. 'He has better abilities than I thought,' Asuma vaguely wondered. 'I didn't even sense him coming up.'  
  
Both Shikamaru and Chouji didn't enjoy the fact that they had to resort to the Meat Tank so soon into the game, but it was for a good cause, they reasoned. With a roar, Chouji blew up over five times his size and spun towards his teacher with righteous vengeance. It was easily avoidable, Asuma merely reappearing behind the rolling ball as it passed. One thick brow arched, though, when he noticed that both Ino and Shikamaru had vanished. Realizing he no longer heard the rolling destruction, he turned to find that Chouji, also, had disappeared.  
  
Asuma smiled, flicking ash off his cigarette. This might be fun, after all.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"It's just a scratch. I'm fine!" She growled, trying to snatch her hand back. Shikamaru's frown deepened, keeping her wrist in a tight lock.  
  
"Then why were you holding it like it hurt?" He spared her only a passing glance before he looked back down at her palm. Eyeing the wound, he held her hand in both his own, tips of his thumbs pressing against her palm.  
  
After a long pause, she asked, "What are you doing?" The weirdness of it was beginning to get to her.  
  
"The nerves in your hand are reacting and causing the muscles to seize up." Came the calm response, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm trying to get the muscles to relax." At his silence, Ino pouted and looked away. Though she had to admit- in the furthest, darkest, least inhabited recess of her mind –it felt nice the way he was massaging her hand.  
  
After a minute or two, Ino peered up at the sky beyond the trees. It was beginning to darken. "We have to get going. We're still not at the foothills, yet."  
  
With a nod, Shikamaru pulled one of his hands away and dug into one of his pouches. He brought out a gauze and a couple swabs, cleaning the excess blood from her palm before placing a clean swab on the wound. Keeping pressure on her hand, he wrapped the gauze and knotted it tightly.  
  
Satisfied, he said, "Don't over exert yourself." Ino looked away. She wanted to snap back that she knew, or that she wasn't helpless, but it seemed rather stupid in the light that he had helped her when he didn't have to. Rolling his eyes, he sighed. "Come on." And he offered a hand to the blonde. Blinking, she looked up at him. "Well? Do we want to pass or don't we?"  
  
With a grin, she slapped his hand away and stood up. "Of course we don't. We want to blow Asuma-sensei out of the water."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Hmmm? Asuma listened to the rustling of leaves somewhere in the distance. Someone was on the move. And from the sounds of it, the three of them finally got their act together.  
  
He smirked to himself. Judging the angle of the sun dipping into the trees he figured he'd give them five more minutes before he gave them the final chase.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
They were making their stand, so it seemed. They must've realized that trying to get to the flag in their current state of training was not going to happen. Asuma tugged at his the corner of his lip with his teeth- a bad habit he acquired long ago and tended to do whenever he didn't have a cigarette to roll in his mouth. The smell of smoke would be too strong- the main consequence of his sadistic addiction.  
  
Something was up, he could feel it. Gauging the area, there were some traps set up, he knew, but they were too well hidden to see. Which, in a way, surprised him. Flexing his hands, Asuma set himself up for the charge. Silently he skittered through the bushes, gradually picking up speed. By the time he was at a third of his top speed, he burst from the trees, ready to grasp the final two piece of paper.  
  
His students turned in surprise, unable to do anything more than move. Except for Ino. That girl was charging at him again while the two boys jumped out of the way.  
  
"Ino!" They cried. She threw a shuriken at him. Asuma merely shifted his weight to one side, letting it sail harmlessly passed him. Then his keen ears heard something sever.  
  
Eyes flickering up, Asuma saw a thick trunk sailing down towards him and Ino. "Shit!" Instinct took over, screaming at him to get the student out of danger, first. He planted his foot and brought a hand out to push the girl back.  
  
But his hand went right through her stomach.  
  
A copy??  
  
Cursing himself, Asuma dug into his pocket and brought out his bladed knuckle. Expending his chakura, he willed the blade impossibly sharp and rose to meet the trunk, slashing through it easily. A sudden movement caught his attention. Both boys were already high up into the trees, bending over a line of rope.  
  
"Now"! Shikamaru cried, severing the line as Chouji did the same. The air filled with noise and Asuma twisted his body, dodging the ropes that were shot at him, shuriken thunking deep into the opposite trees, lining the air with ropes.  
  
He grabbed one with a hand, using a small amount of chakura to keep him balanced. His sight landed on Shikamaru and he smirked. Then he charged. The boy's eyes went wide and stumbled back as his teacher nearly reached him- and promptly stopped.  
  
Too startled at the close call, the boy fell on his back, form going up in smoke and revealing a shocked Ino. Asuma frowned. That meant...  
  
Involuntarily he cracked his knuckled. "Mission complete, Ino." He heard Shikamaru behind. Great, the Kagemane....  
  
"Could you cut it any closer?" But she was smiling, dusting herself off. Smiling sweetly she said to the bound jounin, "Well, Asuma-sensei? Looks like we win."  
  
He chuckled, voice the only thing he still had control of. "No you didn't."  
  
She frowned. "What do you mean?"  
  
"The sun went down two minutes ago."  
  
There was a long silence. Then the three of them looked to the western sky in unison. The sun had, indeed, set.  
  
"We-We lost!" Ino's mouth gaped. "I can't believe it!"  
  
Shikamaru snorted, retracting his shadow. "Man, all that work for nothing...."  
  
"I'm hungry...." Ino tried her best not to snap Chouji.  
  
Their teacher, casual as ever, reached into his pouch to light a cigarette, ruby ember brightening the blue scenery. "Well, it was a good try, kids. Haven't seen traps that creative since jounin training."  
  
Ino whirled on him, glaring. "We would've beaten you! We just needed more time!"  
  
He smiled, as if he already knew what she was getting at. "I know." The three children looked at him incredulously. "By they way, congratulations. You all passed."  
  
They blinked at him in surprise.  
  
"What?" Ino asked intelligently.  
  
"You passed." Asuma proudly said again, taking the time to tap the ash off the end of his cigarette.  
  
The three kids exchanged confused glances. "But...." Ino said, the spokesman for the group, "we didn't complete the requirements."  
  
Their teacher shrugged. "It doesn't really matter because I would've trained you regardless. It was just obvious that not everyone was thrilled being in the same team. I just wanted to make sure that you three could pull together and work seriously as a group. And I'm glad to see that you can. Besides, if the three of you worked together from the very beginning, it's very probable that you would've beaten me." He grinned rakishly at them. "But all in all, less work for me."  
  
They still looked skeptical. The man grinned and clapped his hands. "I'll see you three bright and early tomorrow for our first mission! The admin building opens at 0700, don't be late." There was a chorus of groans as his students began shuffling. "Oh, and Shikamaru."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
His smile became enigmatic. "Did you really have to cheat?"  
  
The boy blinked slowly. "I didn't cheat."  
  
"You used the Kagemane twice."  
  
"Did you get caught in it?"  
  
"Not the first time, no."  
  
"Then how would you know?" There was a lengthy pause. Then, Shikamaru turned and walked away.  
  
Asuma inhaled thoughtfully. Yes, he was certainly going to enjoy this group.  
  
Shikamaru, on the other hand, was somewhat depressed. All that work, all for nothing. Essentially. Okay, really it wasn't, but that was besides the point. The frustration, the tension, getting worked up over noth- all right, so it was for a good reason. But, he supposed, at least they got it all out of the way. Hopefully the three of them had come to a happy 'medium' between them.  
  
"Shikamaru."  
  
He turned, half surprised to see Ino behind him. "What?"  
  
"I wanted to thank you." She held up her hand. "And.... I wanted to know, why did you helped me?"  
  
He didn't answer for a while. Then he frowned. "You're my teammate, aren't you? We're supposed to help each other."  
  
"But you said you didn't like me."  
  
"That doesn't mean I'll just leave you in pain." His frown turned into a scowl. "I told you, everyone regardless deserves to be treated with consideration. It's a natural right."  
  
"U-Un...." She looked at her hand again and Shikamaru believed it was the end of the conversation. But then she said, "Do you think... we could be better friends?" He looked at her in surprise. "I mean, it always seems like we're arguing when we shouldn't be. And it always seems to be my fault-"  
  
"And you hate being wrong." He added for her. She smiled and stuck her tongue out.  
  
"I won't argue with that. But, do you think we could be friends? I don't want to be disliked by my teammates. And I don't want to spend my entire time disliking you two."  
  
With a shrug, Shikamaru said, "We never really disliked you. You were just being really bratty."  
  
Ino huffed. "Well I'll /try/ to be nicer."  
  
He closed his eyes and smiled crookedly. "Don't try to be anything. Being fake is the worst thing possible. You're fine how you are. I know you're not a naturally angry person." His smile seemed to soften in the gathering stars. "That's why I wanted you in my team." Ino was speechless. "C'mon," he tossed his head, "I'll walk you home."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
Well, I stand corrected. Team 9 is, in fact, a year older than the other teams. Thanks for the info, I can't believe I forgot that, I feel kinda stupid now :P Chapter 2 has been changed accordingly.  
  
Anyway, if there's anything that Team 10 seems to be the best at, it would probably be teamwork. Individually they're not really all that strong, but seem closer knit than the other teams. Neji and Lee obviously don't like each other, so I can hazard that their teamwork is lacking, also party evident that they haven't passed the chounin exams yet. Team 8 doesn't have a lot of interaction, but both Shino and Hinata seem very docile. While they could very well be Kiba's support (he seems like he would be the main attacker), it's different from teamwork. And, really, Sasuke and Naruto only work together when they have to (they are, after all, still rivals).  
  
A note about personalities: Shikamaru, to some people, may seem much more open and less like the complainer he's portrayed in the manga. My reasoning is this; he's part anti-social, part lonely. He doesn't like to be around other people (specifically the stupid ones) but he doesn't want to be alone, either. He has a few people that he feels comfortable around and opens up to them. But around those he doesn't like or doesn't know, he seems cold and unhappy. It makes sense when you think about the way he acted when he stayed at Naruto's bedside (vol 11 chap 96) or when he was talking to Chouji (chap 174) where he also seems very straightforward and honest, a surly gentleman, if you would. And his views on courtesy and respect are the same as mine^^  
  
Ino I'm basing off a normal female. Well, when I say 'normal', I mean the normal females I work with. ....I can't really say that either because all the females I work with aren't really normal. Okay, normal military females. Independent, a bit bossy, but not without a feminine side. It's because she seems to be pretty much the 'take charge' type and doesn't shrink away from the little things (if you ask me, having someone like Neji as a possible opponent during the chounin exams is /not/ what I'd call a little thing). And yet, she still tries to be sexy (something I don't think a 12 year old really should be trying to be^^;;).  
  
Chouji doesn't get a lot of screen time in the manga and I haven't gotten all the parts with him translated. So I'm going with what I interpret his expressions, forgive me if I'm wrong. He seems to be a bit of an observer and seems to be more intelligent than most give him credit for. He also seems very empathetic and sensitive. I would guess that he would know his teammates better than anyone else (because some of the scenes make him seem like it), but he still gets hurt when they make even a remote criticism on his weight or lack of skill (chap 173 and 174). The part in the story about his parents getting into arguments (I haven't decided if it is them, or if he has other family that doesn't get along well) is made up by me. He seems like he wouldn't like people getting angry and it would add to his sensitivity.  
  
Asuma I find to be sort of like an uncle that likes to spoil you. He's fatherly enough to be relaxed around and that you would respect him and do what he tells you, but not so much that you couldn't have fun or tease him a lot. In hindsight, he's kinda based of my brother o.O;; You'll see more of my version of his character later, promise.  
  
Just some side notes, they mentioned one way they put together teams is match the top, bottom and middle students. I would think that, as far as Team 10 ranks, it would go Ino, Chouji then Shikamaru. Ino is said to be one of the better kunoichi that graduated in her class and Shikamaru was said to have barely scrapped by, mainly because he thought it was boring and a waste of time to move his pencil over his tests. Chouji, then, would be in the middle, which is fine. Because he seems fairly intelligent and able, just, I would bet, he gets distract easily. Especially by food. Also, the reason why I put that they weren't that adapt at their signature skills is for the fact that they had just become genin. Sure, it's bloodline techniques, but that doesn't meant that they're automatically masters of it. Sasuke couldn't use his Sharingan until late in the Haku Arc, and even then he didn't have full control of it. Though I doubt that Asuma could help them control it, I'm sure other training would've helped. Chakura control and such plays a big part, I'd bet.  
  
Er, okay, this is getting a bit long, so I'll end it here^^;; 


	4. Don't Lets Start

Stumbling Blind 4. Don't Lets Start  
  
bgm- "Secret World", Peter Gabriel  
  
It's been a week since they picked up, training more than they've been taking missions though Asuma-sensei assured them that they would be taking part in the upcoming chuunin exams. Shikamaru was ecstatic. Right now, the three of them were on the inside of the front gates. And they looked at Asuma-sensei as if he had told them to do something they would never- under no conditions -do.  
  
He sighed, cigarette currently unlit on his lips. "It's not that hard."  
  
They continued to give him that /look/.  
  
"It'll build up your strength, endurance, speed and teamwork."  
  
They looked down, then back up at their teacher again.  
  
He fidgeted slightly. "What?"  
  
Ino opened her mouth, then closed it. And opened it again, pointing at the offending object. "That," she stated calmly, "is a log."  
  
"And?"  
  
Her eyebrows jumped in dull surprise. "You mean you're serious."  
  
"Of course!" He frowned, slightly insulted. "I wouldn't say it otherwise."  
  
"You want us to run around the village carrying a /log/!"  
  
"Like I said," he took a drag from his cigarette, then stifled a cough, remember it still wasn't lit, "it's for training."  
  
"You're kidding! A lap around the entire village-"  
  
"Two."  
  
"TWO laps around the village!?"  
  
"You'll switch sides on the second lap."  
  
Ino was fairly flabbergasted. The boys sunk to their haunches, not wanting to resign to their fate. "I don't think he's so cool anymore." Chouji said quietly.  
  
At the beginning of the week they spent two entire days doing chakura exercises, the third day was more physical training where Asuma had taken them through the five-mile-long obstacle course used to strengthen the body. The fourth was more chakura exercises, the fifth was a mission, sixth Asuma worked on each of their inherited skills (and the only real break any of them received). And today was apparently hell. Like all the other days were.  
  
"C'mon!" He clapped his hands together and smiled as if they were about to be doing something insanely enjoyable. If you weren't the one doing it.. Shikamaru snorted. "I'll treat you to lunch after this!"  
  
Chouji jumped to his feet. "YEAH!" Ino yanked him back by his scarf.  
  
With her patented calculating look, she turned to Asuma-sensei. "Not ramen."  
  
"EH?!"  
  
Ignoring Chouji, their teacher put a hand to his chin, thinking for a second. Then he smiled. "Okay."  
  
Ino grinned and Chouji cheered- just for the fact that he was getting free food -and she turned to Shikamaru. "Let's go." She said simply.  
  
He looked up at her, still hunched over his knees. "You guys can go ahead without me."  
  
"Oh, come /on/!" She grabbed his hand. "We have to do this together!"  
  
"I don't want to eat, so I don't have to do this."  
  
"We're a team," she gave him a dark smile- all teeth, "remember?"  
  
Shikamaru stifled a groan, or a sigh. That meant that there was no way in hell she'd let him get away with not suffering with them. There was nothing that annoyed him more than a girl pleading and begging and threatening him into submission.  
  
So he'd rather be automatically submissive.  
  
"Whatever. Let's just get this over with.."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Here you go, kids!"  
  
They looked blankly at the food in front of them and collapsed in the backs of their seats in a pile of groaning muscles and sore tempers.  
  
"What," Chouji said slowly, his normal optimistic attitude having broken somewhere around mile 8, "is /that/ supposed to be?"  
  
"Rice and pork!" Asuma said happily. "It's good for you, full of protein and other good, healthy things."  
  
"You're just getting us this because it's cheap." Shikamaru retorted, poking idly at a lump of pork.  
  
"Yes, well.." He crossed his arms. "You didn't want to eat ramen."  
  
"/She/ didn't want ramen." The two boys shot similar glares at no, who glared at the below par food.  
  
For awhile, the team just sat there.  
  
"Well?" Asuma finally asked. "Aren't you gonna eat?"  
  
Surprisingly, Chouji pushed his bowl away. "No way. I don't even eat that for a midnight snack!"  
  
"Oh? Shikamaru?"  
  
"If I eat anything right now, I think I'm gonna puke."  
  
"Ino?"  
  
She jerked her head back, out of her trance. "You've got to be kidding me! /This/? After all that running?"  
  
"Eat something too heavy, you'll get sick. Besides, you need it. Protein, carbs, replenishes everything important you've burned off."  
  
"This isn't a meal!" She snapped. "A bowl of rice and a few pieces of meat? How can we keep training with /that/?"  
  
"It's sustaining energy. Better than quick buzz sweets."  
  
"But it's-"  
  
She stopped when a pair of chopsticks came into her view and stole one of her limited pieces of pork. The three of them looked at Shikamaru oddly as he calmly coated it in the sesame and salt dip and chewed, looking elsewhere. Then, with his audience still watching and he still oblivious to them, he reached for another piece.  
  
"Hey!" Ino smacked his chopsticks away with her own. "Back off!"  
  
Shikamaru blinked. "Why? You don't want it."  
  
"But it's /mine/."  
  
"But you don't want it."  
  
She hugged her bowl close "You didn't, either."  
  
"I got hungry. 'Sides, it doesn't taste that bad."  
  
"Then eat your own."  
  
Shikamaru looked at her lazily. "Are you going to eat yours?"  
  
Ino shifted. "..Why?"  
  
"If not, I'll have it."  
  
"Well...," she looked down, "I'm hungry." She reluctantly admitted.  
  
Shikamaru shrugged and turned to his food, Ino slowly following suit. Chouji watched them for a minute before he thought 'what the hell?' and scooped his helping to his face. Asuma leaned back and grinned.  
  
The waitress came to refill their tea by the time the genin had already polished off their serving and convinced Asuma to order them another helping.  
  
"Here." Ino passed Shikamaru's cup back to him.  
  
"Thanks." He said, setting his down before he reached for his second bowl. Before Ino could start on her next serving Shikamaru's chopsticks again came into view. This time putting an extra piece of pork on her rice. When she turned to him, curious, he said, "For the-" he cut himself off. Then, with his chopstick, he indicated toward his cheek. Ino sat there, not understanding. With a slight humored expression, Shikamaru reached over, twisting his wrist to brush against Ino's cheek with the block end of his chopsticks, knocking of a grain of rice from her face. "Food." He explained simply.  
  
"Oh. Um, thanks." She looked down and into her bowl. "Oh, the-"  
  
"For the one I took."  
  
She looked up at him for a moment. Then smiled slightly. "Thanks."  
  
Chouji belched. "Can I get some more tea?"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The genin were waiting on the bench at the corner by the Ichiraku, their designated meeting place after so many Asuma-bought lunches. Today, he said, they were going on another mission. This one, he had told them, was going to be a pretty simple one.  
  
Oh, she hoped so. Ino stifled a groan as she rolled her shoulders. Since the first time they did the log run (or the 'Dammit-not-the-Hell-of-Running- with-the-Big-and-Heavy-and-Really-Uncomfortable-Log-for-Miles-on-End-Again' run, as Chouji had come to call it. He had a way with words) Asuma decided to make it a weekly event.  
  
"The better your time, the better the food and the less training you'll have to do tomorrow." He had promised them. Grudgingly they decided to humor him. True to his word, they did get better food than just the rice and pork (they got soup of their choice) and less intensive training (he worked on their individual skills), but it still hurt like hell for the next half of the week.  
  
They've been going on missions a lot more, too. And, Ino had finally been forced to realize she was both the leader and the weakest person on the team. But, Asuma had assured her, pulling her off to the side, that they all had faith in her. They knew she would do everything they could. And even if she couldn't complete her task, just knowing that she did her best was fine by them.  
  
But, of course, Ino wouldn't just leave it at that. She didn't like to think of herself being a burden, being the part everyone has to worry about because she wasn't as strong or as fast as her male counterparts. She never asked her teammates for help, she took every task she could get her hands on, she wore herself out everyday, even when she was instructed to take it easy for once. And when she was asked why, she said simply:  
  
"I don't want to be okay with just 'doing my best'."  
  
And when Asuma couldn't get her to stop, her teammates had to.  
  
"Jeez, Ino." Shikamaru said, Chouji munching quietly behind him. "Didn't you get it during the test? You don't have to try so hard."  
  
"Well maybe I want to." She sniffed, trying to get all the brambles out of her hair from when she fell off the tree during chakura practice.  
  
"But it's not good for you." The larger boy said then, his small eyes creased with concern. "You get hurt and you act like it's no big deal, but we've seen you when you think no one's looking. You don't have to act strong."  
  
She shot them a glare. "Don't think I'm not strong because I'm a girl!"  
  
"We're not. We're just really annoyed." The dark haired genin responded.  
  
"How come?"  
  
"Because you don't trust us." She blinked. "You don't depend on us, you don't trust us. You think you can do everything by yourself because you're so self-conscious, you're completely forgetting about us. How's that supposed to make us feel when our team leader won't even recognize her teammates?"  
  
"T-Team leader?" She sputtered slightly. "How did I become the team leader?"  
  
"Because you like to boss people around."  
  
"And you sound like you know what you're talking about." Chouji added.  
  
"And you're focused."  
  
"And you're not afraid of anything."  
  
"And you actually want to expend the effort for it." Shikamaru finished, both looking at her expectantly.  
  
Ino looked down, face flushed and somewhat speechless. "..Oh."  
  
"And any good leader knows when they're pushing themselves." He added, fully knowing he had complete control over the conversation. "That's why they're good with orders. Because they get the people they're leading to do the things they're good at, so the leader doesn't have to exhaust themselves and so the ones under them understand that they're following someone competent and someone not so self-centered as to realize they need the people they're leading."  
  
She flickered her eyes up at them and then back down. "And.. Do you guys think I'm doing a good job?"  
  
"Depend on us a bit more and it'll be okay. If you got hurt just because you didn't believe in our abilities, or because you're too stubborn for your own good, we wouldn't be able to live with ourselves."  
  
Ino thought for a moment. Then slowly, with some hesitance, she smiled at her teammates. "All right. I'll try my best to be a good leader."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"A race course." Ino scowled at their mission, barely quelling the urge to crumple and rip that paper to tiny shreds. "This is the worst one /yet/."  
  
"What's the point of it?" Shikamaru rescued it from her grasp, reading over it, Chouji at his shoulder. Skimming through the unimportant parts, he said out loud, "Securing a track for the annual kinder-nin track and field.." He grimaced as he had never grimaced before. "For crying out loud."  
  
"Will we get free food?" Chouji asked. That had always been his favorite part of the kinder-nin field day.  
  
"It doesn't matter!" Ino told him. "We have to work through it! All the little kids! And standing around looking foolish!" She put her hands over her face and managed a muffled scream: "AAAAAAAARGGGH!"  
  
"Come on, kids." Asuma said mildly. "It's not that bad."  
  
"How is this /not/ /bad/? It's awful! I'd rather go looking for that old lady's purse at the market again!"  
  
"Which she just misplaced in her house." Shikamaru said dully.  
  
Their teacher shrugged. "You're the ones that wanted a easy mission."  
  
"Yes, but a mission worth taking!" Ino complained.  
  
"It has to be done." He said with gentle force. "Every year some team has to stand the track. This year it's us." He gave them a kindly look. "I didn't really want to agree to it, either, but it's the principle behind it that I agreed to it."  
  
The three students frowned. "What principle?"  
  
He indicated for them to sit down on the benches as he took out a cigarette and lit it. "Like I said, every year some genin team has to work the track for the kinder-nin track and field meet. Every year the higher ups pick which teams they'd want to work it and it's up to the teacher to accept the mission or not. They always pick the ones they believe are skilled and dependable enough to keep the rugrats under control. I'm sure you remember, if not a little, how rowdy they can get."  
  
Shikamaru and Chouji let out pained sighs, their class having some of the biggest troublemakers Konoha had ever spawned within several generations. Ino had to bit her hand to keep from guffawing out loud, her last memory of the meet being Sakura stopping in the middle of the track and crying because she was left behind.  
  
"I get it." Shikamaru said wearily. "The principle behind it is if you turned the job down, you'd be gaffing off the higher ups. Or you'd be sending the message that you didn't have faith in us. And if you took it and we complete it as flawlessly as you hope, it would look good on us, get us better mission- possibly. Moreover, it would look good on your record, successfully leading your team to completing a mission given from above."  
  
Asuma sheepishly rubbed his neck. "You didn't have to add in that last bit, but yes."  
  
"Feh. Since it's already been accepted, I suppose we have no choice but to deal with it." He clicked his tongue as he leaned back, obviously annoyed. "Jeez.."  
  
"Really." Ino agreed, similarly put out. "I wish you would've consulted us about something like this. As team leader, shouldn't I be reviewing the missions we get?"  
  
Asuma blinked. "Team leader?"  
  
"When does this thing start?"  
  
"This weekend." He said automatically, still slightly off balance from the 'team leader' remark. "Tomorrow one of you and myself will scout the track, figure out the best places to have each member. That night the three of you will be staying with me so we can get an early start in the morning."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"In case they need help setting up, of course. And to familiarize yourselves with your designated areas."  
  
"Oh.. Of course." Shikamaru couldn't help but roll his eyes at Ino.  
  
The bearded shinobi smiled at them. "That's it for today. Be sure to do your Daily 16, now. Tomorrow will be a light training before we scope out the place, we don't want to get too worn out and sore for the kinder-nins, do we?"  
  
"No~!" Chouji and Ino chorused cutely, Shikamaru just shoved his hands deep in his pockets. However, before the dark haired boy got very far, a heavy hand fell on his shoulder.  
  
"One moment, Shikamaru." Asuma-sensei smiled warmly at him, making Shikamaru automatically thinking the worst. "Have a moment for your dear teacher?" Great, another talk. That was the worst of the worst.  
  
Frowning, he turned to his instructor. "Why?"  
  
"You don't want to chat with me a while?" When one of Shikamaru's eyebrows cocked, Asuma dropped his overtly friendly pretense. "Okay, okay, I'll get right to it." He inhaled slowly, glad that he had been saving this particular one so well. "What did Ino mean about team leader?"  
  
"She's the leader of this team."  
  
"Why is Ino the leader?"  
  
"Who else would be?"  
  
"You."  
  
"I don't want to be team leader."  
  
"Come, come." Asuma smiled around his cigarette, the smoke hazy and curling around his face. "You're a great leader."  
  
"I don't want to be."  
  
"Why not?" His teacher seemed truly astonished. "You have the intelligence, you have the ability, why don't you want to?" The boy looked away and after a pause, Asuma continued. "Ino and Chouji listen to you, they do just about anything you say. You know the best way to utilize everyone's abilities and the best way to take care of a job."  
  
"Ino's the leader."  
  
"Every time you two disagree, half the time she winds up listening to you. The other half was just because you got annoyed with arguing."  
  
Shikamaru gave Asuma-sensei something akin to a glare. "Ino is the leader. She likes being the leader. And I'm fine with supporting her. I don't care what you tell anyone else or what you write down in your reports, but she's the one in charge. I just let her do what she wants."  
  
Asuma held up his hands in peace. "Okay, okay. Just wondering, really. Just giving you my opinion." He took a final puff before flicking the butt to the ground. It extinguished before it hit the dirt. "If you and Chouji are satisfied with it, I suppose I can't say anything against it."  
  
Shikamaru looked uncertain at that.  
  
"Most teams don't figure out leaders this early. Besides, I'm technically part of the team, I just guide, instruct and am here for chaperone type reasons. And if something completely unforeseen happens you get in over your heads."  
  
Seemingly satisfied, Shikamaru nodded. "Good," was all he muttered before he walked off.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was getting to be an early evening the next day, clouds low on the horizon and blotting out the growing sun and the staining sky. All that day Ino had noticed something off in Shikamaru. She was going to ask Asuma- sensei and Chouji if they had noticed it, too, but they carried on as if nothing was the matter.  
  
So when Asuma had asked her who should go with him to inspect the track, she had easily said Chouji. He looked surprised, obviously expecting her to go. But she had already decided. She had to find out what was wrong with Shikamaru.  
  
"Hey, Shikamaru!" She called out, raiding Asuma's refrigerator despite the fact they had already eaten dinner. "Do you want some ice candy?" He was out on the balcony and for a moment she thought he didn't hear her. But in floated the low answer:  
  
"Sure."  
  
She drew out two green bagged ones- everyone loved melon flavored, she decided -and went out to hand Shikamaru his. He took the ice candy with sullen gratefulness, gazing at the town below his feet. Sitting next to him, Ino wove her arms and head through the bars, shoulders pressed into the metal as she peered intently at the market going on down the street.  
  
"Why are you so upset, anyway?" Ino suddenly asked. Shikamaru looked at her in vague surprise.  
  
Finally, he asked, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"You're upset." She repeated, turning to look at him, the popsicle still wrapped in her hands. "You've been upset since Asuma-sensei took Chouji with him to check out the trail. Why? Did /you/ want to go?"  
  
"Of course not." He scowled. "I'm not mad at that."  
  
"Then what /are/ you mad at?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
He gave her a halfhearted glare. "It's nothing."  
  
"Oh, come /on/."  
  
"Fine." He tried a different approach. "It's nothing you'd care about."  
  
She was aghast. "How could you say something like that!"  
  
Jamming the ice candy in his mouth, Shikamaru mumbled out, "Because it's something you don't know about. And I don't feel like explaining it."  
  
She glared at him. Then, haughtily, she turned back to unwrap her own with an air of wounded supremacy. "/Fine/! Be that way! I was /trying/ to be friendly, but apparently you just want to be a stubborn brat." Turning her head to deliberately not look at him, Ino missed his near imperceptible wince.  
  
They sat in quiet for several minutes, their popsicles finished, Ino chewing absentmindedly on her stick, Shikamaru twirling his between his fingers. He had been gradually feeling guilty.  
  
"You know," Ino said suddenly, the end of the stick bobbing up and down rapidly, "you don't have to act tough around me." Surprised, Shikamaru looked up at her. "I know you never really had friends, I know you've always kept to yourself. But remember, you're part of a team, now. And like Asuma-sensei's been saying," she tried to imitate his voice and failed far too miserably to be funny, " 'Your team is your second family. If you can't depend on them, you have no hope in making it as a ninja'."  
  
His shoulders slumped as he looked at her incredulously. He suddenly felt like hitting his head against something hard.  
  
"So." She said with a smile, taking the stick from her mouth. "I know you're not used to it and you like to be alone, but we're your team. And your team is always here for you to depend on."  
  
Shikamaru looked away. "I thought you didn't want to depend on anyone."  
  
"Un. I don't. But, it's a pretty stupid thing to want when I'm already depending on you guys." She then added brightly, "And it's not too bad. Because I'm only depending on you guys when I really need you. And it's really nice and refreshing, not having to be strong all the time. Because I know you guys won't think I'm weak, just because I need help."  
  
He raised his head, tilting it towards her slightly, amazed. He had never known she had taken his advice that much to heart. Never once had he thought her less because she had needed help. And as she became more welcoming for her teammates' assistance, the more he respected her. Because she knew her limitations, because they didn't have to tread over her swollen pride, because they were more of a team and they were closer to her...  
  
Shikamaru trailed that thought.  
  
"It's hard to be open." He said slowly. "Because no one cared before."  
  
She smiled, humming in the back of her throat as her lips curled, slitting her eyes like a cat. "Now's a good time to start. You're not so grown up that you can't learn to trust people again."  
  
"It feels like it."  
  
"But wouldn't you rather start now?" She looked at the roofs across from them. "After all, we're all friends in this team. Isn't it best to trust people you know care about you? And risk getting hurt by people you know would never hurt you? Then to gamble yourself and your future with people you don't even know?"  
  
"Hn. I'd rather not have to gamble at all. Taking care of other peoples' problems, having them deal with mine.. It's just too much work. They'll all go away eventually, even without the effort."  
  
"Or," Ino said, "you can tell me and let me deal with it." When he turned to her with his annoyed expression she just stuck her tongue out at him. "You've already helped me out a bunch of times. So I'm going to help you. I don't like having to owe people, even if it is you."  
  
Shikamaru didn't know what to say to that but inadvertently let out a huff somewhat resembling a chuckle. Giving her a small smile, he leaned back on his hands, watching the sky change color behind the clouds.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was just before sunrise when Team 10 arrived at the field. Tents and events were already being set up by volunteers, parents and instructors who had things well underhand. The genin, however, were used occasionally to run simple errands but were mostly left alone. Once the food came, however, a parent-volunteer let the three have themselves a small volunteer- rations box that held a box drink, a piece of fruit, some carrot sticks, one boiled egg and two buns- one pork and the other sweet bean. It took over twenty minutes to convince Chouji that no, he did not need two ration boxes. He wasn't actually going to be doing a lot of work.  
  
"Besides," Shikamaru said, "you still have your entire knapsack to go through."  
  
"But I was saving those for my mid-afternoon snack." He sulked, but let it be.  
  
They had already gone through what was to be expected of them, what they were to expect and where each one of them would be stationed. At the moment Ino was looking at some of the displays and little shops some of the older children had set up- Asuma had told them before hand that they were not, under any circumstance, to buy anything until after the completion of their mission. Asuma himself was talking to this year's director- who was actually the director every year since he was saddled with it his first year teaching -and the two boys were standing together, bored. Chouji had taken the excuse that he was bored to already start going through the first bag of chips in his knapsack.  
  
And when he had run out of chips and finally wrestled the decision it was best to wait to start on another, he felt inclined to do something. He decided to talk.  
  
"You know, it always amazes me how open you are with us." Chouji said, vaguely fingering the empty bag dejectedly. "In class you were always quiet and never did anything. Except for sleep, really."  
  
Shikamaru frowned slightly, not really knowing where this was going and, frankly, surprised at the sudden conversation. "So?"  
  
"Well, now it seems like we know you fairly well. Not the personal you, but the you inside your head."  
  
He wondered idly if Chouji even knew what he was talking about. He stayed silent.  
  
"She's really pretty, isn't she?"  
  
"Ha?" Shikamaru didn't think he was ever that off balanced by a conversation before in his life.  
  
"You know a lot of older guys thinks she's hot."  
  
"So what?" What, did Chouji like her? Something shot down his spine uncomfortably at the thought. Maybe because they were all friends, or maybe because he'd feel out of place if anything happened between the two or he'd have to take sides if one of them got hurt. His cheek twitched. It must be the thought of Chouji doing just about /anything/ with anyone that made him feel weird. It wasn't something he really wanted to think about.  
  
"Do you think she's pretty?"  
  
"I suppose, why?"  
  
"You've been getting especially close to Ino." His slim eyes gauged Shikamaru's reaction critically, deftly folding the chip bag in his palms. "You never even looked at a girl before."  
  
The other boy's face darkened. "She's my teammate, what am I suppose to do? Ignore her? I doubt I'd act any different if we were teammates with someone else."  
  
"Ho.." he looked at the origami shuriken he held, "if you say so.."  
  
Something in that tone didn't stroke Shikamaru the right way at /all/. "What's /that/ suppose to mean?"  
  
Chouji blinked at him. "What's what suppose to mean?"  
  
"That 'if you say so' thing."  
  
"Dunno." He shrugged throwing the flimsy weapon with amazing accuracy into the nearest trash bin. "I'm not having second thoughts about my words."  
  
"I'm not doubting my words!"  
  
"I didn't say you were."  
  
Shikamaru stopped himself just barely from clicking his jaw shut. He had to remind himself not to get into a battle of insinuations with Chouji again. If he could help it.  
  
Instead he just scowled and said, "Let's just drop this."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
He scowled again, his attention caught as the instructors were lining the children up for the race. "Let's get back to our positions. It's about to start."  
  
"Right."  
  
The meet lasted most of the day, bouncing from one event to the next. It wasn't really that bad of a mission, looking back on it. Only a few kids decided it would be fun trying to run off the track or try and trip an opponent, but immediately one of the three genin were there to take care of it. There was only one case of a kid that had peed themselves in the middle of the race and it was only by Ino's glare of insufferable death and eternal nagging that made Shikamaru go out and take care of that particular incident.  
  
He tried not to shudder too obviously as he was forced to walk the child around the track to the service tent- which was set up on the exact opposite side, how perfectly typical -and having to hold his hand as he cried.  
  
It'll be over soon, he told himself, wincing as the kid hit a particularly high wail, and then I can go home and be lazy and stay in bed until tomorrow morning. It was about then that he noticed a slight tugging at his hand, turning to realize that he was practically dragging the bawling boy behind him.  
  
"Ah jeez, c'mon." Shikamaru pleaded with him. "It's only a little while longer and then we can get you changed into some clean, dry clothes, okay?"  
  
The boy shook his head, still crying and refusing to budge another inch.  
  
"What's wrong?" Shivers began going the wrong way on his spine. Had he done something wrong? Did he screw up the mission? Man, this was important to both Ino and Asuma-sensei. He'd never hear the end of it. "Do you want to stand around with pee drying on you?" That came out a bit more snappish than he intended, but thinking about getting chewed out for some kid's uncontrollable urinary tract got his hackles up. But the boy shook his head again. "Well, come on, then." Yet he still wouldn't move. "Kid.."  
  
"They'll laugh at me." He sobbed out, his free hand trying to scrub away the tears. "Dun wanna be laughed at..!" And he began crying anew.  
  
"Man, stop that, will you, kid?" Shikamaru shifted uncomfortably, looking around before deciding he should probably do something. Kneeling doing, he nearly gagged on the smell of little kid urine before he resolutely told himself not to breathe too much. "Just forget about it. They've all gone through the peeing themselves thing before. And when they get older, they won't remember a thing about what's happened."  
  
The boy peeked through his chubby knuckles. "Really?" Through trembling lips and the gap in his teeth his words came out slightly slurred.  
  
"Yeah, for the most part." Shikamaru scratched his head. "I barely remember all the stupid things I did during the kinder-nin track meet and I'm only 12."  
  
Tears came to his eyes again. "But. that's so far away!" He began wailing again.  
  
Shikamaru felt like slapping himself. Mainly because he couldn't slap the kid. "Look, kid, why did you pee yourself in the race?"  
  
He shifted slightly, hiccuping. "'Cause.. 'cause I was nervous.." sniff "and I didn't go in a long time.."  
  
"There, now you know your problem. Next time just go before you do something like this, okay?" After a thought, he patted the boy on the head. "Then you won't have this problem again." The boy looked unconvinced. "And," Shikamaru searched for something to say. He didn't like kids, they always made him so uncertain. "If anyone gives you a hard time, just tell them.." great, what was he suppose to say, "just tell them. 'so does your mom'." He clicked his mouth shut, surprised and more than a little aghast that something like that popped out.  
  
The little boy looked at him for a moment. Then collapsed in a fit of giggles. Shikamaru scratched his head, unsure if that was the reaction he was going for.  
  
"Ah! There you are!" Shikamaru looked over his shoulder to see a young girl running toward them. "Look at you!" She scolded the boy as she came up, picking him off the ground. She began to reach down to brush off the grass that clung to him, but thought better of it. "You're such a mess, I can't believe you!"  
  
Shikamaru stood up. He had seen the girl before. Even though they were the same age, her birthday had just missed the required date to get into his class. But he could remember seeing her every once in a while in the halls of the academy or on the streets or playground. He remembered some of the guys saying that she liked him, but he just shrugged them off.  
  
And watching as she fussed over the boy, occasionally glancing at the genin and blushing, he couldn't help wondering if that were true.  
  
"Um, thank you," she said softly, "for taking care of my little brother. I'm sorry he caused so much trouble."  
  
"It's fine." He replied.  
  
She blushed again. "Thank you." Hustling the small boy forward, she ducked to avoid his eyes.  
  
"Bye!" The boy called out around his sister. "I'll remember what you said!"  
  
The rest of the day went by fairly quickly, Asuma-sensei stopping by to tell Shikamaru that he did good work in handling the situation. The instructors told they weren't needed for the break down or clean up so Asuma quickly scurried them away before anyone's minds were changed.  
  
As they walked back into the heart of the village, Ino fell back to walk with Shikamaru.  
  
"Did you have fun with the kid?" She asked, teasing.  
  
He grunted. He'd have to get her back for that one.  
  
"Oh, come on. It was a learning experience."  
  
He grunted again. This one came out more as a growl.  
  
"I saw that girl go up to you, too. She was kinda pretty, wasn't she?"  
  
Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Whatever.  
  
"She liked you." Ino's voice got a little musical and he was wondering how long she intended to annoy him. "You really shouldn't feel bad about yourself." That got his attention, mainly because he had no idea what she was talking about. "I'm sure girls would be all over you if you were a bit nicer. I mean, you're not gorgeous like Sasuke-kun, but you have certain.. look to you." She tried to think of the proper term. "More sort of suave." She looked at him and frowned. "If you stopped looking like that."  
  
He snorted. "What the hell are you going on about?"  
  
"Try not frowning so much, get that line out of your forehead." Shikamaru shook his head and looked away. "And try being nicer!"  
  
"I'm not out to get girls, contrary to popular belief." He said, corners of his lips pulled back slightly in a grimace. "So I have no reason to go and treat them nice."  
  
"Well.." Ino said suddenly, "you treat /me/ nicely."  
  
There was a pause. A long, /long/ pause. He flickered his eyes at Ino for a second, and noticed that she was giving him a wide grin. Because she had won this round.  
  
With an inconspicuous frown, he heaved a breath. "It's not like I'm going to be an ass to my teammates. I have to deal with you guys until we get promoted."  
  
Ino rolled her eyes. "Gimme a break. It's more than just-"  
  
"And you're my friend." He interjected quickly, not taking notice to her talking or to her dumbfounded expression. "I won't let anyone treat you badly."  
  
She smiled warmly, obviously the answer she was looking for. She sidestepped to bump gently into him as they walked. "You enjoy giving me a hard time?"  
  
"You started it."  
  
"I did not."  
  
"Did so."  
  
"Did not!"  
  
They went on from there, like little kids until Asuma finally told them to shut up and mumbling about making him sound like an old man. Chouji helpfully said he was, indeed, a rather old man to which Asuma threatened not to get him a slice of cake for a job well done. Shikamaru smiled to himself and glanced at Ino, who was laughing warmly at her teammate and her instructor. And he couldn't help but to admit to himself that she was, indeed, rather pretty.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
C'mon, who doesn't like a 'your momma' joke?  
  
I apologize for the delay and I have to apologize for another long update interlude. No, don't think I've given up on this story. Far from it. However, I have a big project coming up for the Christmas months that I want to get out of the way so I can focus entirely on something else without a last minute scramble. I always hated those XP  
  
I want to thank all the people that have been replying with corrections and comments and such. I'm glad you people are trying to help me out. I was sort of worried that everyone was reading just for the ShikaIno parts (which, honestly, won't be getting more than just occasional fluff until much later into the series) because then it makes me think I'm like all the other writers out there. Not that I'm saying they're bad, but.. Okay, there are writers out there that really makes me think they put no effort whatsoever and they get a lot of reviews. Just because it's a popular pairing (i know because i've read a lot of them) and I don't want people reading this just for that. But getting these responses let me know that you're actually reading and paying attention. Thank you all, you make me feel so much better about writing.  
  
Again, I want to say that I've been unable to read passed Naruto issue 179 (which sucks because i want to see first hand shikamaru being super kick ass!), so again I apologize for the entire Shikamaru's mom thing. So I guess this is totally AU after all. Oh well, it would've been by the end of the entire fic, anyway :P  
  
Anyway, on the fic itself, we get a view of Chouji being observant and a bit different than people would expect from looking at him. Have you ever been around people that really didn't like each other and always tried to goad the other subtly? You pick up a lot of tricks with words from interactions like that, even by just listening in on them. I've known a couple of people that live in a home like that and they got pretty good with word play. Besides, it's fun to write XD  
  
Also, the entire kinder-nin thing I just made up for the sake of the story. I needed a mission for them to go on that would offer more interaction than just action. For those of you that don't know, 'kinder' is German for child. And nin being.. Well, nin. I'm sure you've seen that enough times in Naruto as it is. Kinda like kindergarten for ninja, you could say. Or maybe slightly older. I suppose it's the class they go to before they actually start training for genin.  
  
And, um.. If it seems to jump around a lot, especially at the end, I'm sorry. I occasionally get these flashes of scenes or dialogue of parts I haven't gotten to yet. And since I couldn't really think of a way to let it flow straight through- and I was too lazy to write it all out, this is getting kinda long, anyway -I just separated them into different scenes or just fast-forwarded it. But, hey! At least it's done, right? 


	5. Mama's Gift

Stumbling Blind 5. Mama's Gift  
  
bgm- "I Turn to You", All-4-One  
  
One more week. The thought brought a scowl to his face- one that was becoming far too regular an occurrence in his teammates' opinions. But who could blame him? If they knew him, that was. Exams were for people that were motivated, people that wanted to make something of themselves, people that wanted to get ahead in this field. They were for people like Ino and the only reason either Shikamaru or Chouji agreed to do this was to keep the girl from burning their ears about their 'laziness'.  
  
It's not about being lazy, Shikamaru thought to himself. It's about giving a damn.  
  
So, as he was wont to do whenever he was thoroughly annoyed by anything, he took a walk. The first place he went to think and growl to himself- when he was too restless to lounge on his porch -was the bridge over the stream. It was still a few hours before midday at the beginning of the week. His team had managed to complete their mission early, giving him the chance to wander while the crowds were still working. The perfect time to just stare out at the water for an hour or so.  
  
As he was passing the bend that curved towards the bridge, though, he came to an abrupt stop. Doing a double take, he leaned forward and squinted his eyes, just to make sure. "Is that Ino?" He murmured aloud. "Hey, Ino! Ino!" The girl- standing waist deep in the stream of all places -didn't appear to hear him. "Stupid girl. Ino! Stop that, get out of there!"  
  
When she still made no sign of noticing him, he scowled even more and waded out after her, cursing as the cool water caused his shorts to cling to his legs, making it feel even colder. His sour mood increased three-fold, he grabbed her arm and bodily dragged her back to shore. "C'mon, Ino. Don't be so stubborn." Belatedly he realized how cold her skin was under his hand and, with merely one dark thought, slipped his jacket from his shoulders and draped it over hers.  
  
She's soaked through! Worry tinged his thoughts. What the hell was she doing? Aloud he said, "Ino, are you.." He looked down and noticed something. "Are you.." Peering into her down turned face, his ire sank to a rough oblivion. "Are you crying? Ino, what happened?"  
  
Her voice hiccuped around her quiet sobs. "L-Locket.. Mama's locket.."  
  
Shikamaru was just as confused as before. "What? What locket?"  
  
Ino put a hand weakly to her brow, half falling to her knees before Shikamaru caught her elbow, lowering her cautiously to the ground. "Mama's locket.. I gave it to Sakura and she-she.."  
  
The scene replayed in her mind, no more than an hour earlier. How she had gone out to do some last minute practicing. How she ran into Sakura. And how everything went down hill from there.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Ino had snootily asked the other girl, arms crossed.  
  
"I said," Sakura repeated, "that I can't hold this anymore." She reached into her pocket, bringing out a small, floral shaped locket on a thin golden chain. "I kept it because it meant so much to you." She explained. "But now, for me to have it is pointless."  
  
Ino felt an unexplainable stir of anger growing inside of her. "What do you know about anything?"  
  
"You gave it to me because I was important to you." Sakura bowed her head slightly, green eyes tinged at the edges with guilt. "Back then, you said that's what your family did with this locket. Back then, we were vital to each other." Her words were losing conviction as Ino stiffly approached her. "But I can't wear it. I'm no longer-"  
  
To her surprise, Ino had lashed out, smacking Sakura's hand. The stream plunked greedily at the shinning object. "Who're you to decide who I think is-" Then, the results of her actions stung at her mind. With a choked cry, Ino fought against the semi-stagnant water, splashing noisily, trying to find her lost treasure.  
  
On the shore, Sakura stood there, uncertain and regretful.  
  
At least, that's what Shikamaru gathered between the sobbing. Feeling somewhat awkward (dealing with crying- no matter from who -was never his strong point) he said the first thing that came to mind: "So you're getting yourself sick because you stupidly lost some dumb jewelry in the water." Foot, meet mouth.  
  
"It's not dumb!" Ino launched herself at him with more energy than he had expected, with limbs too weary and cold to do any damage. "It's special, it's Mama's!" Her voice degenerated into sobs once again. "She told me- told me to give it to the one most important to me..!" Ino's voice broke on the last few syllables and she cried into her hands. Shikamaru moved his jacket more securely over her shoulders, slowly guiding her away.  
  
"C'mon, Ino." He said gently. "I'll take you home."  
  
Oh God. Now that he thought about it, what was he supposed to say to her mother? He knew Ino wouldn't say a thing to her, so that left that honor to him. He could see it now: "Yes, ma'am. Found her standing in the stream in hopes of catching pneumonia. Oh yeah, and apparently she lost something important that belonged to you. By the way, that's a very nice window display you've got today."  
  
That definitely wasn't going to fly.  
  
By the time they made it to the flower shop, Shikamaru still hadn't come up with a decent answer to the questions he knew were coming. But, they had come to the open doors, Ino no longer crying or shivering, and he prepared himself for the worst. The worst always seemed to like him for some reason or other.  
  
A fact made obvious when they walked in and her mother was helping a customer. With three or four others inside as well. The woman felt the entrance of two more people and looked up, bright smile on her face. "Welcome to-INO!" The blonde girl shrunk even more miserably into Shikamaru's jacket, sniffling into the plastered hair against her face. "Ino, sweetie, what happened!?" Her mother frantically took her into her arms, blubbering about how wet and frozen she was. Finally, remember that she should know the situation before she went full out mother hen, she held Ino out by the shoulders. "Honey, what happened to you?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." She said quietly.  
  
"Ino-"  
  
"Leave me alone!" She cried, pulling out of her mother's grip and running up the stairs in the back. Shikamaru heard her sobbing just before her footsteps overpowered them. The woman got up, then remembered her customers and was suddenly torn. Fluttering slightly, she gripped Shikamaru's shoulders.  
  
"Shikamaru-kun. Can you look after her a little while longer? I'll be up as soon as I can." He barely got a nod in before she went to hastily take care of the consumers. A couple of them were moving off to leave, promising to be back later that day and hoping everything would be all right.  
  
With a sigh reminiscent of a man facing that noose, Shikamaru made the trek up the steps. Stopping outside the door to Ino's bedroom, he knocked just loud enough to be heard.  
  
"Ino." He said, voice soft. "Ino, c'mon."  
  
"Go away." Came the pitiful reply.  
  
He sighed again. "Ino, it's not that bad."  
  
"What do /you/ know?" She accused. "That locket was important!" There was the sound of sobbing again. It wrenched Shikamaru's heart in ways that made him uncomfortable. "I'm so stupid. How could I have done that?"  
  
"It was an accident." He didn't know why it was suddenly so important to keep her from crying, but he felt it deep inside. He couldn't leave Ino a wreck. Not like this, not Ino. "It's okay. Your mom will understand."  
  
"That locket is an heirloom." Her muffled voice sounded closer. Good, he thought. If she's moved by the door at least she's willing to talk. "It's been in my family since we were officially initiated as a clan." In a quieter voice, he heard her berating herself. "I'm such a fool.."  
  
"Ino-" he felt a hand on his shoulder. Ino's mother stood behind him.  
  
"Shikamaru-kun." She said quietly. "What happened?"  
  
Scratching the back of his head the boy said, "I don't really know. Apparently Ino gave Sakura a locket a while ago and when Sakura tried to give it back Ino accidentally threw it in the creek."  
  
The woman's face crumpled in disbelief. "The locket? The one I gave her?"  
  
"Yeah, the heirloom one." He moved out of the way as she pressed against the door.  
  
"Ino, honey." She said softly. "Sweetie, I'm not upset. It's okay if you lost it. Please, come out. I don't want you getting sick."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mama.." Ino's voice broke into sobs once more. "I'm so, so sorry."  
  
With her ear pressed against the door for a moment, both she and Shikamaru knew Ino wouldn't listen to them now. "Honey, please don't be upset. I'm going to close up the shop so I'll be back up in a few minutes and we can talk then, okay? It may not be much comfort now, but I'm not mad at you. So please don't be mad at yourself, all right?" When no answer was forthcoming, she shook her head, escorting Shikamaru to the top of the steps.  
  
There she turned to him. "Thank you so much for brining Ino here, Shikamaru-kun."  
  
"It's no problem." He hated taking compliments. He never knew what to do with them.  
  
"You don't know how happy I was when I heard you and Ino were on the same team, Shikamaru-kun." He looked at the older woman, somewhat surprised. "Ever since she and Sakura-chan got into that fight...." she sighed, "you're one of her closest friends. You and Chouji-kun are always looking out for here. You've helped her out so much, you don't even know."  
  
Shikamaru looked down, not certain how to respond. Finally, he said:  
  
"She's my teammate. I'd do anything I could for her."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
When he met Chouji for lunch, that morning was all he could thing about. His preoccupation immediately caught the other boy's attention, as if Shikamaru's lack of jacket wasn't a dead give away that something was up. And after the situation was explained to him, Chouji couldn't help but be preoccupied with it himself.  
  
"Hm.." He slurped around his noodles. "I can see how that would suck."  
  
"Feh. And somehow I'm the one that feels guilty about this and I don't even know why." Shikamaru hadn't felt the need to eat much and had already finished his kid's serving, fists sandwiching his cheeks between them.  
  
"It's not like you could help." Chouji agreed. "Not like you could go and find it for her."  
  
"One necklace in that thing? Yeah right. That's impossible. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have told her to forget about it."  
  
"You would've just left her looking for the thing?"  
  
Though Chouji knew that Shikamaru wouldn't, the insinuation was still in his voice. "Of course not!" The other replied, aghast that such a thing would even be considered. "I wouldn't have let her stay in that freezing water!"  
  
"Then what would be the point in /not/ telling her to forget it?"  
  
Shikamaru frowned, grasping his cool glass. Normally he would scowl, being forced to play Chouji's word games. He knew the round boy was playing with him, thinking that he had some deep feelings for Ino. But it was an excursion in futility.  
  
That's what he kept telling himself, anyway.  
  
"She's our teammate." Chouji said thoughtfully. "And because of that, we'd do anything for her."  
  
He was pressing at something, but Shikamaru wasn't sure what it was. "So then I should be out there right now, is that it? Looking for the thing?"  
  
The other shrugged. "It's impossible, isn't it." Shikamaru didn't say anything. Chouji lifted his bowl to his lips, intent on draining the rest of his food. "But knowing Ino, she won't give up. She'll probably be out there tomorrow, looking for it again."  
  
As the blonde slurped noisily, Shikamaru turned away, gaze settling on the horizon. And on the bend that he knew was on the other side.  
  
He hated decisions.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was late, it was dark and he was cold. He didn't like that combination at all. And on top of all that, some how, it felt as if he hadn't resolved anything.  
  
Was it really this locket thing that had Ino so broken up? Or was it the thought the person she thought was important to her no longer wanted to be that vital part of her life?  
  
When he came into the house, his father was racked out on the ragged cushions in the front room, still in his uniform. Must've come back from a long mission, Shikamaru thought, somewhat bitter. He quietly went the steps, bypassing the creakier planks. However, no more than five steps up there came a low rumble:  
  
"You're out late, boy."  
  
He paused. "....I was out thinking."  
  
"Oh?" His father smiled, not wholly unkind. "Don't catch cold. You have exams coming up."  
  
Shikamaru scowled in the dark. "Right."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The next morning wasn't as brisk as the one before, but the water would still be cold. But it didn't matter. Ino had lost something, something very important. And she wouldn't let something as trivial as chilly water stop her from getting it back. Determination was something she didn't lack in the slightest.  
  
"I'll find it, Mama." She said to herself. "Don't worry." She found herself, for the umpteenth time that morning, gripping Shikamaru's jacket. It was comfortable, made of a nice material and, she had found, was warmer than one would initially think. But, regardless, it wasn't hers and as she stepped toward the river, she folded it gently and set it on the ground.  
  
As she toed off her sandals, though, a voice caught her attention.  
  
"Oi, Ino! Catch!"  
  
On reflex alone, Ino's hand shot out in response, snagging whatever it was in mid-flight, before she had a chance to even see it. However, she knew the weight in her palm, the corners that were rubbed smooth by countless fingers and the small nicks she had memorized long ago. And, just as instantaneously, she recognized who the returnee was.  
  
"Shi-Shikamaru! You found it!" Then she realized the state he was in. "You-"  
  
"Don't worry." His voice held more force than he had meant. But he couldn't help it. He was tired, cold and sopping wet. "It's not like I spent all night in the freezing water."  
  
She was stunned beyond all belief and the only thing that her befuddled mind managed to get out was: "You. Why?"  
  
"If people found out I let you search in the river and get sick, they'll never stop bothering me about it. I would've failed as your teammate, and as a man." He was trying to wring out his shorts as it was the most normal thing to do. And under the circumstance it pretty much was.  
  
But even with the careless way he said it, his sharp look pointedly elsewhere, Ino was touched beyond belief. Never, in all her time, would she have thought someone would go through such trouble for her. "Shikamaru.." In a move that surprised them both, she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. "Thank you! Thank you so very much!"  
  
"H-Hey!" He stuttered. "I'm still wet!"  
  
She pulled back hastily, both from the shock of his cold skin and from the fact that she was hugging him. "You're frozen to the bone!" She rushed to pick his jacket up and wrapped it around his shoulders. Even though he struggled- claiming he could put it on himself -he felt relieved to have something dry against his skin and felt the heat radiating from hers.  
  
So busy was he reveling in the warmth that it took him a moment to realize that Ino hadn't let go of his jacket, hands resting against his chest. Head bowed, he saw her blushing faintly. "I.. I just want to thank you for everything." She shifted, the tightening of her fists bringing him closer by an inch. "For looking out for me. And for finding my locket."  
  
With a near imperceptible frown he asked, "What's so special about it?"  
  
"We've had it for generations, given to the oldest child to be given to the person most important to them." She sniffled slightly at the memories, but continued. "Sakura was my best friend. She was, really, my only true friend. She tried to give me my locket back before, but I wouldn't let her. Because, even if we became rivals, she's still important to me."  
  
"Then why did she try to give it back again."  
  
Ino smiled bitterly. "One thing I hate about Sakura: She always has to be right.." This came as a low murmur. Not that Shikamaru had any idea what she meant, anyway. Then, to his surprise, Ino stepped back. And her locket had somehow managed to get around his neck. "Perfect." She said simply.  
  
Shikamaru wasn't sure what to say. "But.."  
  
"Ah!" The tip of her finger tapped his nose, breaking his train of thought. "Don't say a word. It's my locket, I decide what I want done with it. And since I obviously can't keep track of it," she tapped him again, this time on his chest above the locket, "I'm giving it to you for safe keeping."  
  
His mind, treacherous as it was, went through all the implications his possession of the trinket could mean. He tried to hide his blush by running his arms through his jacket sleeves. As he struggled to get his second thawing arm through the hole, Ino grabbed his other hand. Tsking at its lack of heat, she gently rubbed her hands over the tips of his fingers. His blush deepened- which she somehow didn't seem to notice -and tried to tug his hand away, but her grip only tightened.  
  
"C'mon." She said with a wide smile. "I'll take you home so you can change and I'll treat you. Anything you want, it's okay."  
  
"You-You don't have to." He stammered. He chalked it up to the fact that he was shivering.  
  
"No, I want to." She looked him dead in the eyes. "You don't understand how much this means to me." She smiled widely at him. "And you know how I feel about owing people, anyway. So, c'mon!" She pulled him along, laughing as he spluttered. Shikamaru barely had time to tuck the locket safely under his shirt before Ino took off running with him close behind.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
Hn, finished in just under a 12 hour span. Including the 5 hours I had of sleep :P  
  
This was originally a script I had made for a very short, very cheesy ShikaIno doujin. But, seeing as my scanner was broken, I don't really have to time to draw it out /and/ as I had decided to do a series, I figured I'd stick this in here and change some things around. So, a bit of fluff, a bit of their relationship developing, a bit of subtly growing romance, blah blah blah. Hope that made you feel gooey inside. If not, good. Because gooey is an odd feeling to have. And yes, I get random after spending hours with friends (a majority of who were decently drunk) and a week of little sleep with the pressure of projects baring down on me. So I hope you liked it.  
  
I've almost finished my Christmas project, so hopefully I'll be getting more ficcies up. *eyeballs the other series she has to write for* Er.. sometime in the near future, anyway..  
  
And thanks again to people that are reviewing. Especially those that put up little comments and suggestions, too. You guys are really helpful^^ 


	6. From the Outside In

Stumbling Blind 6. From the Outside In  
  
bgm- "Hell Yeah", Ani DiFranco  
  
How long has it been since the funeral? One day? Two?  
  
A week, Ino, get it straight. She snipped the stem of the dying iris with more force than necessary. With everything going off the deep end within the last month, she shouldn't have been too surprised how different things seemed. All the hassle with the exams, then that Orochimaru and the Sand and Sound Nins...  
  
Her hand stilled for a moment before going right back to weeding out the wilting flowers. As much as she hated to admit it, she was somewhat thankful that she had been put to sleep before the whole thing happened. She didn't know if she could handle it, all the people dying around her and her unable to protect herself. Overwhelmed by skill, overwhelmed by numbers. It was something she wasn't strong enough to handle, yet.  
  
That's why you're still a genin.. She thought miserably.  
  
When she had come to, the first thing she saw was a dead Sound ninja lying not too far from her, kunai in his head. She stood up in shock only to find more dead bodies and blood spackling the audience and the walls, sticking to the floor. The first thing she did was try to find her friends. With Chouji beside her, still sleeping, her first thought was he also dead. A thought that quickly died when he let out a snort and began his buzzsaw snoring again. As others slowly began to wake, she realized that Sakura was no longer in her seat. And with that knowledge came the fact that- no matter how hard she looked -she couldn't find Shikamaru, either.  
  
Chouji and Rock- having eventually come around -tried to console her, explaining that he wasn't among the dead bodies, therefore he had to still be alive. Rock even went as far as to get Gai-sensei to explain everything was fine. The instructor looked at them quietly for a moment, and unnerving moment of contemplation. Then, in an unexpected act, he laid a large hand on Ino's head and said quietly- as if only for her to hear -that Shikamaru had gone with Sakura and Naruto to find Sasuke.  
  
She gasped. "Then, Sasuke-kun..!"  
  
"He went after Gaara."  
  
The three fell silent, unable to comprehend just what he was saying. With a gentle, almost sad smile, Gai patted her head and walked off, helping to clear out the wounded. Finding a clear spot on the steps, they sat.  
  
"Shikamaru.." Chouji had said quietly. "He'll be all right, won't he? It's not like he's alone."  
  
"They're going after Gaara." Rock replied. "He's tough, but with Naruto and Sasuke there, they'll be all right." He turned to Ino with a serious look on his face. "Believe in him. He'll come back."  
  
It wasn't that she didn't believe in him. She was just worried. They had heard that there were still hostile ninja prowling around Konoha.  
  
Her hands were clenched in her lap.  
  
It's not that she didn't believe...  
  
"Oh? He's back." A deep drawl told them. The three looked up at Kakashi- sensei, who was staring pointedly at the hole that was made in the wall. On the other side was the burly form of Asuma-sensei. And beside him was Shikamaru.  
  
"Shikamaru!" Ino shot to her feet, taking off for the steps. Chouji clambered after her, wobbling slightly with his body surprised at having to move so suddenly. Rock sat there, watching them go off in surprise.  
  
When Ino reached the bottom steps, she saw Asuma saying something to Shikamaru before the boy nodded, then went off in another direction, turning out of sight into a small alcove.  
  
"Shika-" She ran forward, but was stopped by Asuma. "Asuma-sensei?"  
  
He smiled warmly at her. "Leave him alone. Just for right now."  
  
Ino wanted to say something, but just bowed her head. As Asuma began to pull her away, she turned to try and catch a glimpse at Shikamaru. All she saw as she was leaving was Shikamaru kneeling on the floor, shaking.  
  
"Ino. Ino." Startled, she blinked, surprised that she was holding a flower steam. "Hey, Ino-pig."  
  
"WHAT!?" She growled, wielding the clippers with vengeance. She knew it was Sakura- she was the only one brave enough to call her that -but to actually see her standing there in front of her was still a bit of a shock.  
  
Sakura, though, smiled in the face of sharp, pointing things. "You shouldn't stare out into space like that, Ino."  
  
The blonde frowned at her. "You didn't have to call me that." She turned to snip at another offending stem then turned back to Sakura. "Did you want something?"  
  
"Mm." She looked closely at the flowers Ino had just pruned. "I was thinking about getting some more flowers for Li-san. They've got him back in the hospital for more physical therapy."  
  
"Oh, really?" Ino said slyly. "Isn't it generally the guy that's supposed to get the flowers for his girl?"  
  
To her surprise, Sakura merely blushed and said, "Better than just pining away."  
  
Ino's jaw dropped and she spun around. "I-I am /not/ pining!" But other than that she said nothing. For that matter, she did nothing, just stood, staring blankly at the waiting flowers.  
  
Hesitantly, Sakura leaned over a little. "Ino? Is something wrong?"  
  
"What happened?" Ino said quietly. "What happened out there?" She turned back to Sakura, eyes lowered. "I only barely managed to see Shikamaru when he came back. I've never seen him like that before." When she looked at Sakura directly, the other girl was surprised at the raw pain there. "What happened that made him so scared?"  
  
"He-He hasn't talked to you?"  
  
Ino shook her head. "Asuma-sensei said it would be best if we left him alone for a while. The last time I saw him was at the Sandaime's funeral. I was going to talk to him but he and his dad left right after." She looked away. "I.. I didn't want to bother him.."  
  
That, Sakura decided, was a surprise. Ino was never afraid or shy of doing anything. The way she was acting right now was more of what Sakura did. And she certainly didn't like how that act looked on Ino.  
  
"Maa, Ino-pig!" She joked, giving the other girl a light punch on the shoulder. "Don't look like that! Being shy isn't you! Leave that stuff for the people good at it! Like me or Hinata!"  
  
A hand covered her fist and her false humor fell. "Sakura, please." Ino begged. "Tell me."  
  
She shifted, a little uncomfortable. But she had to relent. "Okay. Let me get the flowers for Li-san. Do you think you can take a break for lunch or something?"  
  
Ino nodded. "Just give me a few minutes."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Despite its tiny appearance, the Ichiraku always got good business because of its close proximity to the academy and its cheap prices. Besides, who didn't like a nice, big bowl of delicious ramen?  
  
The girls took a seat a little way away from the rest of the crowd, talking idly until their food arrived. As the bowls were set in front of them, Ino looked at Sakura expectantly.  
  
She cleared her throat, reaching over and breaking her chopsticks in two. "Shikamaru, Naruto and I were going after Sasuke, I'm sure you already know that." Ino nodded but said nothing. "On our way, one of Kakashi-sensei's summoned dogs said it smelled some ninjas following us. Naruto said that he'd stay behind while we kept on Sasuke, but Shikamaru said that he'd stay, instead. He said that he had the best chance of surviving and keeping them busy." Sakura shook her head, mixing the noodles around. "I didn't believe him. I thought he was just going to run. He didn't even want to come in the first place." She smiled somewhat sadly. "But Naruto said that Shikamaru would keep his word. Even then I wasn't convinced, but, sure enough, we were no longer being followed. And when we got back, Naruto went to find out what happened to him.."  
  
"Well?" Ino prompted.  
  
"He was safe. He didn't get hurt." But she seemed hesitant, somehow. "But he was alone, a genin facing nine or so full-fledged ninja on his own. I over heard Kakashi-sensei talking to Asuma-sensei on accident. I remember Kakashi-sensei saying that he never would've figured Shikamaru to be a self-sacrificing kind of guy. Asuma-sensei said," she paused for a moment, "he said 'If I were any slower, he would have been'.  
  
"We've had some really hard missions. Both Naruto and Sasuke-kun have been hurt really badly, but that one time, when Sasuke-kun had really, almost died, he acted so differently for a while. I don't think Shikamaru ever had to deal with a battle like that before, so having to face that situation, with the knowledge that he probably wasn't going to survive.."  
  
Ino's bowl was left untouched. For that matter, she hadn't even made a move toward her chopsticks. And as Sakura spoke, she felt something inside her sink deeper and deeper.  
  
"Ino." Sakura called. "Ino." Seeing the blonde in this funk scared her almost as much as anything she'd seen. So, she did the only thing she could thing of that would bring the regular Ino back. "Oi! Ino-pig!" She kicked her sharply in the shin.  
  
"Ow! Sakura!" Ino glared, looking about ready to knock the other girl down.  
  
"Sorry, sorry." Even though the small grin on her face took the sincerity out of her words. "You were just starting to make me nervous."  
  
"Hmph." Ino rested her head on one hand, the other twirling her unbroken chopsticks in her bowl. Even though she was still uncharacteristically somber, at least she wasn't worrying Sakura anymore. "Can you blame me? One of my teammates and best friends goes out, I find out he nearly kills himself and I'm supposed to be fine with not talking to him because he's 'shaken up', as Asuma-sensei says. I don't know how I do anything /but/ worry."  
  
Sakura blinked, blowing on her hot noodles for a moment. "Is he really?"  
  
"Hm? What?"  
  
"Is he really one of your best friends?"  
  
She was about to say something, but a part of her that was hers alone cackled an evil thought. "Why? Are you jealous, Sakura?" Ino gave that laugh that she knew got Sakura riled up.  
  
Her grip tightened slightly on her chopsticks, but Sakura threw that laugh right back at her. "Jealous? I thought he was your /boyfriend/."  
  
That made Ino choke in mid-laugh. "Wh-Wh-Wh-What makes you say that!?"  
  
"Oh? You mean your not?" Sakura turned back to her meal. "That's hard to believe, you certainly seem to like him enough."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Ino practically tore her chopsticks in half. "I don't have any weird relationship with Shikamaru!"  
  
"What's so weird about liking him? You like Sasuke-kun, after all."  
  
"Sasuke-kun is Sasuke-kun. Shikamaru is Shikamaru. He's my friend and my teammate. If I start thinking like that about him, it will get awkward." She swirled her noodles around, determined to drown out this upcoming conversation with her food.  
  
Sakura leaned over with a wicked grin. "So then you /do/ like him." She was surprised when Ino started choking on her food. "Ah! Ino! Breath!"  
  
Pounding on her chest and doing her best to swallow her ramen, Ino managed to cough out, "Don't say weird things while I'm eating! That's dangerous!"  
  
"Sorry, I didn't think you'd take it so extreme." For a moment they ate in silence though Ino's mind was still reeling. Then, of course, Sakura decided it was time to add more to Ino's already boggled thoughts. "So, what exactly do you feel for Shikamaru, then?"  
  
Ino shot her a sharp look. "What are you going for, Sakura? Are you trying to push me onto him just so you can have Sasuke-kun all to yourself?"  
  
"No, I really want to know." She said with genuine honesty on her face. "He does seem really important to you. You were cheering your heart out for him during the tournament."  
  
Ino shot her an odd glance. "Is Naruto important to you? I distinctly remember /you/ cheering pretty hard for him, too. And I'm sure you worry about him when all you know about where he is is he could be in a lot of trouble."  
  
"Naruto is a lot of trouble, I know." But she smiled warmly. "But I know I don't have to worry about him. He's always come out of everything okay, and he's never broken his word yet. I believe that he'll come back fine every time he says he will. I'll believe that he can do anything he says he will." Stirring the small portion of broth she had left, Sakura kicked her feet idly. "Do you feel the same way about Shikamaru?"  
  
Ino sat and thought, playing with her noodles having eaten considerably less than her friend. "I.. I don't know. He's never let any of us down before, and he always knows what to do. He's taken care of me and Chouji, he always makes sure we're all right. With him around, it always seemed to be that everything would be all right. And he was always there, one way or another, but he was always close by. So when he just suddenly left like that.."  
  
"Because he didn't say anything?" Sakura hazard.  
  
Irritably, she stabbed at her food. "I'm not some lovesick kid." She declared, almost too loudly. "He's my friend. It's only natural that I would worry about him."  
  
"Just out of curiosity," the pink haired girl asked, "weren't you worried about Sasuke-kun?"  
  
There was an odd clack as Ino's teeth skidded together. Sakura didn't need an answer to see that she was correct.  
  
Pressing on, Sakura continued. "And your locket? You're not wearing it, did you give it to someone already?"  
  
"I'm not," Ino's head was bowed and her voice low, "in love with him. He's just my friend."  
  
The other girl's lips pressed together as she realized that Ino wasn't just saying it. She was trying to convince herself. "Ino, it's not healthy to be like this. Just go talk to him."  
  
"I can't." She put a hand to her forehead, bitter smile on her face. "If I talk to him, I feel like I'll just break down and cry. How pitiful is that? He's just my friend, so why does it seem so hard?"  
  
For a moment neither of them said a thing until Sakura slid off her stool and placed her money on the table. "I told you what happened, and I really can't help you with this." It felt so strange. It was always Ino that was strong and gave out the advice. For their roles to suddenly switch like this left her at a complete loss. Grabbing the flowers, she paused before she gave into the impulse to give Ino a quick hug. "Thank you for the flowers. I should put them in some water before I get them to Li-san."  
  
That said, Sakura left Ino to stare forlorn into her cold broth.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
What exactly brought her to his home that day, she really didn't know. Maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other in a long time, maybe because she had to make sure he was okay. Maybe it was that weak feeling that was eating away at her, the one that she hated and cursed at in her sleep, the fine, coiling serpent it was.  
  
After several minutes and more than a couple false tries, Ino finally brought her hand up and connected the back of her knuckles against the door lightly. Again she waited and those moments stretched. She would've given into her fleeing instincts if she didn't force herself to stand before the door, soft sounds coming from the other side.  
  
The latch fell back with a heavy thunk and the door creaked slightly as it opened. The light poured in and shone on Shikamaru's pale face, lines drawn on his expression, eyes dark and restless. For a moment the two stood there, Ino suddenly struck with fear, Shikamaru looking on the verge of exhaustion. Then the moment passed.  
  
"Can I help you?" His low voice was thicker and Ino thought he saw the arm holding the door ajar trembled slightly.  
  
"You look terrible!" She declared forcing him back into him own house. "Have you been eating anything? Or even sleeping?"  
  
Knowing better than to argue with Ino as she was building up to her 'boss' mode, he allowed her to charge into the foyer, scowling at both her presence and the state of the house. "What do you want, Ino?" He asked again. She turned on him with a glare.  
  
"Don't take that tone with me. You look like hell! You're lucky I decided to check up on you, I knew you wouldn't be able to survive on your own."  
  
"Is there a-" he winced as Ino threw apart the curtains, letting light flood the rooms, "a point to this?"  
  
She tsked at the mess and automatically went to tidy it up, all those years working a store demanding things be presentable. "Honestly, how can a person live like this? It's no wonder you're about to keel over!"  
  
"I'm fine." He gritted out, wanting only to be alone. "What do you want?"  
  
She stopped, laying the cushions out in a neat line. "You haven't talked to either Chouji or me since the tournament. Are you avoiding us? Do you think we can't help you?" She turned to him, lips a thin line. "I heard what happened and I know it's hard, but you can't let it get to you like this."  
  
Shikamaru snorted and crossed his arms, eyes eerily vague. "What do you know about it?" He waved a hand carelessly. "Fine, you want to know what I've been going through? I can't sleep, I don't eat, just thinking about it scares the hell out of me. Because I couldn't do a damn thing. I didn't doubt for a second that Gaara would have killed us. Not when we would've found him in the forest, not when me and Naruto passed him in the halls, not when we stopped him from killing Rock. And each time I saw him, I couldn't do anything.  
  
"I'm not strong! I don't /care/ about being strong! But sitting by quietly, waiting for someone to kill you, someone you don't know for a reason you don't understand, that's all I'm good for, apparently! I'm not brave, I know this! I'm not like Naruto or Kiba or Rock, I can't just blindly fight someone I know I can't beat, finding some courage from somewhere I never had! I'm not like Neiji or Sasuke and pull some uber cool technique out of my ass!" He fell against the wall, hands weeded through his tousled hair. The sudden burst and long days of logically irrational fear and frustration at the fear were taking their toll on him. "It doesn't matter who it is. So long as they're stronger than I am, I won't do anything. They could kill me and I'd just let them." Shikamaru slid to the floor just as Ino went to his side. "I hate it.."  
  
"Shikamaru.." She knelt next to him, a hand rubbing the tense muscles of his shoulders. "Shikamaru, c'mon. It's okay to be scared. Everyone is." She tried to pull his hands from his face, but he refused to look at her. "Dying is a scary thing, no one blames you for not fighting back. Everyone's just glad that you're okay. And you helped Sakura and Naruto find Sasuke-kun. Don't you think you did any good?"  
  
"What's the point in doing all the good in the world if you're not alive afterwards?"  
  
"But you /are/." She pressed. "Asuma-sensei made sure of that."  
  
"I was lucky he found me."  
  
Furious, Ino stood up. "So is that all you're going to do? Just sit there and sulk? The Shikamaru I knew wouldn't just whine about all this! He'd go out and do something about it!"  
  
Finally he looked up at her. "No, I wouldn't."  
  
She gave him a sharp smile. "You wouldn't be moping for a week, either." The smile dropped suddenly. "It's not like you. You complain, yes, and sometimes it's annoying, but you never just hid yourself away like this. You wouldn't go out to face the problem, but you'd meet it head on. The Shikamaru I like wouldn't let anything get to him, he'd just let it roll off his back."  
  
Shikamaru brought his knees up to his chest, chin resting on them. "Then maybe you shouldn't like me."  
  
"That's rude!" He looked at Ino, surprised at her sudden anger. "Just who do you think you're talking to? I don't like just /anyone/! If I like you, then you can be someone really great! I know you can, but not when you're just sitting around like this!"  
  
He glared at her and looked away sharply. "Look, I don't want a motivational speaker, okay? I just want to be alone." Pushing himself up, he headed towards the steps. "You can let yourself out."  
  
At a time like this, a part of her pleaded, even she could be honest. If it was once, it would be okay. It sounded an awful lot like Sakura. Ino frowned a bit. She didn't want an Inner Sakura, she wanted an Inner Ino. Maybe even an Inner Sasuke, though he'd probably just ignore her. Just like the real one.  
  
But, she realized, he's walking away. Ino panicked.  
  
"Shikamaru!" He stopped and half turned and Ino was at a momentary loss. "W-We were worried. Chouji, I mean. Rock was a little, too. But he was more worried about Sakura." She turned her head from his steady gaze, feeling somehow anxious. She heard a soft 'ah' and heard him walking off again. Ino's frenzied mind grabbed at something else to make him stay. "And!" He stopped, but didn't turn. "And," she said quietly, "so was I."  
  
She had to swallow hard passed her tension. "I was really scared," just this once, be honest, "that.. you wouldn't come back."  
  
For a long minute, neither did anything. Then, with deliberate slowness, Shikamaru turned fully, on his face an expression so serious, so determined, she thought for a moment she was looking at someone else.  
  
"I will always come back." He said, low voice almost impossibly deep, its rumble resonating with the fine shivers that went down Ino's back. "No matter what."  
  
"Do you promise?" Hope swirled undeniable in her chest.  
  
Barely a pause. "Yes."  
  
"No matter what?"  
  
"No matter what."  
  
"Even in the face of someone stronger than you?"  
  
Shikamaru looked away sharply, still remembering the rush of air behind him, feeling the frozen fear in his bones, unable to do a thing. He honestly didn't think he could ever find the courage to be stronger than he was, and he knew it was foolish to promise things he wouldn't be able to keep. Being shinobi meant you liked to roll the dice. Far too many young and far better deserving ninja than he had gambled and lost everything. He didn't like playing the odds. Not even when the numbers were in his favor.  
  
So then what was it that made him say those things? Why was he so determined to make himself seem more courageous than he was?  
  
'Don't you dare promise the impossible, boy.' His father said. 'Trust is a fragile thing and it's something you have to respect and treasure. Destroying someone's hope is worst thing you could ever do to them. Take their lives, their homes, their families, but if you give them hope and don't deliver, you'll see the worst sides of people.'  
  
Yet, somehow.. he cast a glance at Ino, it didn't feel like he was telling her a lie.  
  
Because she's my teammate, he thought, and I'll do anything for her.  
  
"Yes." It came out before he could think to stop it. And the way her face lit up, relief and hope filling her bright face, he thought briefly that he'd take on the world to keep her happy.  
  
Then, of course, it came to an end. She gave him her bossy look again. "Good! Now that that's cleared up, get to bed!"  
  
An eyebrow twitched at the sudden change. "What?"  
  
"You heard me." She went and poked him in the chest. "You look ready to fall over. So you go, get some sleep. I'll make you a big dinner and you /will/ eat it." The glare she gave him convinced him that would be lucky if he could regret not eating if he didn't. "Until I come and get you, you will /sleep/. Even if I have to knock you out myself, got it?"  
  
"All right, all right." He scowled, even though there was something relieving about her assertiveness.  
  
"And if you do anything stupid like you almost did in that last mission," Ino said, "I'll never forgive you, you know."  
  
For a moment, Shikamaru stopped and slowly his hand went up to the locket, resting lightly under his shirt. "Good." He said quietly. "I wouldn't want you to." Because if she never forgave him, she would never forget him. And to him, he could be happy with that.  
  
At least, he thought, for right now.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
Okay, first time trying my hand at Sakura. Like, really trying. She's not a character I really like, so I /hope/ she turned out right. If not, uh.. I'm sorry?^^;; I tried, really. And, yes, I'm a RockSaku fan. I really don't like her with anyone else, especially Naruto or Sasuke, though that may just be because I'm a SasuNaruSasu fan^^.  
  
Oh, yeah. Fun fact: The dead Sound Nin Ino woke up to was one of the two that were going after Sakura that Kakashi killed. Just thought you might like to know XD  
  
Anyway, I don't know how long it was between the Hokage's death and the entire Itachi thing, but judging by how people are going about with a bit of normalcy, I'd judge about one, two weeks. Or, if you really want, this could take place the day before the Akatsuki thing, I don't mind. Whatever floats your boat, ne?  
  
On an added note, going into a fight is a lot different than nearly losing your life. It shakes you up a lot more than you could think. And given the fact that every fight Shikamaru had gone into had someone to keep them from killing each other, it would have shaken him up more than it would, say, a chuunin or jounin.  
  
And, er, don't mind the darker, more dramatic side to this particular installment. I've just been reading some darker, more dramatic and wonderfully written fics so it got kinda influenced. My writing style is so easily swayed^^;;  
  
By the way, does anyone know how long Naruto was out looking for Tsunade? I'd hazard about a month. Just wondering because it didn't look like Shikamaru got promoted until shortly before the returned to Konoha.  
  
I hope you people are happy. I'm pretty much neglecting my other works for this because- for no real reason -I'm on a big ShikaInoShika schtick. *grumbles* I really wish I was still subscribed to Weekly Jump.. *cries at her lack of manga* 


	7. The Exhaling Problem

Stumbling Blind 7. The Exhaling Problem  
  
bgm- "Learn to Be Still", The Eagles  
  
Shikamaru grumbled, forcefully not looking at his instructor. Asuma-sensei had that look again, the one he really hated. The one that meant he had really important news that he really wanted to say but would rather hold off until the most opportune moment. And, seeing as Shikamaru was the only one around, it meant that it had something to do with him and was more likely than not something he would really rather not know about. And the opportune moment would also likely be as a last-ditch attempt to swing the game to Asuma's favor. Which wouldn't be happening either way.  
  
With a deceptively careless flick, Shikamaru's customary black stone clicked onto the grid. He frowned at the way his teacher's face scrunched up thoughtfully. This was going to take a while....  
  
But, the boy figured, if he could press his advantage then the older man may have to draw his 'trump' card early and then he wouldn't have to worry about what ill-titled 'good news' could be.  
  
"You know," Asuma puffed in his good-natured way. Here it comes, Shikamaru discreetly rolled his eyes. "I was at the admin building earlier today."  
  
"Oh?" It was just to acknowledge, they both knew.  
  
"I heard something interesting. You might like to know." The way thick fingers flipped down another stone, he knew Asuma was gauging his reaction.  
  
"Hm."  
  
"They have the chuunin promotion list from the exam. It was a real surprise, I must say." Asuma's grin grew as he saw Shikamaru's eyes flinch a fraction. The boy had a good sense, perhaps it really wasn't all that surprising. "You're on it."  
  
There was barely a pause as another black stone came down. "You don't say." But Asuma heard it.  
  
"Yup." He studied the board, wincing at his lack of options. "And not just that, you're the /only/ one on it."  
  
Shikamaru kept his face carefully neutral though the inside of his mind was exploding with curses and screaming and insults at the cold bitch called Luck. He didn't know why she hated him, but he would definitely have to take time to figure out a way to get her off his back.  
  
Of course, the boy's lack of response was just what Asuma was hoping for. That meant that it had the desired effect and it was up to him to keep Shikamaru's mind occupied with things he deliberately did /not/ think of until his little white army could form their line.  
  
"I'm thinking we could have a blow-out of a party. Invite all your friends and family to join in. You know, real celebration-like."  
  
"Dad's on a mission." Shikamaru said, cupping a hand under his chin. "And I don't have any friends."  
  
"Chouji and Ino."  
  
"I'd have to 'celebrate' with them even if they weren't my friends, just because they're my teammates."  
  
"Naruto, then. You hang around with him sometimes."  
  
He shrugged. "He went training last I heard."  
  
"Hm." Asuma contemplated the board. He, of course, knew that Naruto left. He also knew the main reason why Naruto left and why the rest of Team 7 was no where to be seen. He, Kurenai and Gai decided it prudent if the least amount of people possible knew about.... everything. About the Akatsuki being in the village, about the village's only Sharingan users both out of commission and about Jiraiya and Naruto off to find the legendary kunoichi. Shikamaru suspected his instructor was keeping something from him, but- to Asuma's relief –didn't broach the subject.  
  
He set down another white piece. To his dismay, Shikamaru put down his own piece almost immediately after. Asuma glared at the board, then at the boy as the latter signaled for another drink.  
  
With a toothy smile, Asuma said, "Well, we'll just have to wait until everyone's available, then." It was a look that said: 'if I don't win, I'll make you miserable'. A look that Shikamaru completely ignored.  
  
"How're your teammates, by the way."  
  
This was going somewhere he wouldn't like, Shikamaru thought. It was in the tone; Asuma was building up to something he knew would annoy him.  
  
"You saw them the same time I did." He said carefully.  
  
"That was three days ago. You haven't seen them since?" He noticed Shikamaru's frown deepen slightly and grinned. They both knew the boy just slipped up.  
  
"So what?" He scowled, tapping a finger against the side of the board. "You're our instructor."  
  
"I've been on missions." He placed down another piece, feeling slightly more secured that this wouldn't be another post-dinner slaughter. "Ever since the battle with Sand, we've had to show our clients that we still have strength, power, etc., etc. "He bit his lip as he leaned back, arms crossed. "Politics bites."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"So you haven't been hanging around Chouji?"  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"What about Ino?" Asuma asked with just enough of a hint in an otherwise nonchalant question.  
  
There was a pause.  
  
And a glare.  
  
"What are you getting at?"  
  
Asuma put on his 'innocent' face. "What?"  
  
"You don't insinuate as good as Chouji so you can drop it." Shikamaru crossed his arms. "You think there's something between me and Ino, too, don't you?"  
  
"Oh? I'm not the only one?" He leaned forward, grinning widely.  
  
"Forget it. She's not interested, anyway."  
  
A thick eyebrow quirked up. "Interesting choice of words."  
  
Crap.  
  
In retaliation, Shikamaru fairly slapped his stone in the midst of the others. In the worst possible place Asuma overlooked. "Three." He said with a glare.  
  
"Geh!" He put a hand over his face. That spot had been open for sometime, and he had never realized the danger it held to his survival. Now, looking over the board, unless something came around and knocked Shikamaru unconscious, he had no way to win.  
  
Asuma sighed. Looks like he went too far with that one. He patted his vest, looking for his partially crumpled box of cigarettes. He hated losing and he hated being pushed into a corner. And whenever he needed to think, there was nothing like a cigarette to put everything into focus.  
  
His thick fingers twined around the filter of one and with a frown, he placed it between his lips, trying to figure out which pocket he put his matches in. Asuma then became aware of someone looking at him.  
  
"Hm?" One of the cooks was giving him a disapproving frown. "What?"  
  
"This is a no smoking restaurant?" Shikamaru said. His tone and expression as apathetic as always, though there was a slight glimmer of sadistic satisfaction. Shikamaru, Asuma had come to realize over time, could be amazingly petty. Subtle enough you wouldn't notice, but petty nonetheless.  
  
With his good-natured grin, Asuma lifted his open, empty hands, allowing the cook to see that he wouldn't be any trouble. Slightly reluctant, the man nodded and turned away. Though an eye would still drift towards their table every now and then.  
  
"That's a good rule." The jounin said, though he kept the cigarette in place. Gnawing on the filter, he could still get a taste of the nicotine. He wondered idly if that proved he was more addicted than was necessarily healthy.  
  
There was a noncommittal response from Shikamaru. "I wouldn't expect that from you."  
  
"Smoking is a terrible habit." The boy lifted an unconvinced eyebrow. "I'm serious."  
  
Shikamaru just shook his head.  
  
"You don't believe me."  
  
"If you know it's bad, why do you still smoke?"  
  
With cheesy, dramatic flare, Asuma bemoaned, "Alas, I'm far too addicted. I don't have the strength to beat this vile poison in my veins. Ever since I started at the tender age of 14, I-"  
  
"Is this soliloquy going to take a while? It's your turn."  
  
"Is it? Oh! So it is! Sorry, got distracted."  
  
"I can tell."  
  
"Have you ever thought about smoking, Shikamaru?" Asuma asked. He moved to place a piece, halted just above the board, then quickly set it down in a different position.  
  
"No."  
  
"Good. Don't start."  
  
Shikamaru's gaze flickered from the board for a moment. "You did."  
  
"For a lot of reasons. None of them good, now that I think back on it." The instructor smiled as he waited, somewhat edgy. "It's kind of funny, actually. A lot of people don't know what they're doing the first time they smoke."  
  
"What's so hard about smoking?" He grumbled to himself.  
  
"Nothing, you'd think. You just inhale, then exhale. But somehow, people get this impression that they're suppose to swallow the smoke." He laughed under his breath. "Though some of the shades of green some people turn /is/ sort of amusing."  
  
Shikamaru shook his head and put down another piece, delaying the inevitable just because it gave him something to do.  
  
"You know, everyone knows that they're suppose to inhale it, but it's the way they do it that gets them in trouble." The man leaned in close on the board, trying to find an overlooked opening from various angles. None of his options were any better no matter how he looked at them. "You have to inhale straight into you lungs, or you just keep it in your mouth- which people think solves most of the health hazards but really doesn't. But instead, people tend to inhale as much as they can in their mouth and then try to move it in their lungs. By swallowing."  
  
"Which will make you sick." The other put in with no effort. "I know."  
  
"You do?" He was surprised. "I thought you never tried to smoke?"  
  
Shikamaru scowled. "I haven't. People get sick from smoke inhalation because smoke goes into places it doesn't belong." He leaned heavy on his elbows. "Technically smoke isn't supposed to be in people's lungs, either, which is also a reason why people get sick the first time they try a cigarette."  
  
"Ah, you're so clever, Shikamaru-kun." Asuma smiled. The boy frowned, he really hated endearments. "It's to be expected of you."  
  
"Che."  
  
"Of course, that would also be part of the smoking problem."  
  
"Hm?" /Now/ what's he talking about?  
  
"You see, people think about things too much. They don't realize that just by breathing naturally, they can smoke easily. They think themselves right out of an easy situation and get themselves into trouble."  
  
"....." Shikamaru blinked slowly. "So....?"  
  
"That's what you do. You think too much."  
  
"I.... think too much."  
  
"Ah, glad you think so too! Though maybe you shouldn't think so because then you would be thinking a lot again.... Hmmm...." He stroked his beard thoughtfully.  
  
"Just what," Shikamaru had to force his voice to stay level, "are you talking about?" Asuma, for some reason, was really getting on his nerves today.  
  
"You think too much for your own good. You know, some things happen if you just let it. Let things happen naturally and they almost always come out for the best."  
  
He lifted the corner of an eyebrow. Isn't that what people didn't like about him....? Because everyone thought he was lazy?  
  
Asuma seemed to realize this and laughed. "Oh, I don't mean /all/ the time! I mean about important things! You knew it when you distracted the Sound Nins. You knew you were the best one for the job, but you also knew if you thought about it, you'd think yourself right out of it. Like with your current situation."  
  
"What 'current situation'?" He glared. "If you say 'the one with Ino....'"  
  
"....Okay, I won't." But he hummed loudly, suggesting that it was, indeed, what he was going to say.  
  
"I do /not/-"  
  
"Ah, look at that time! Wow, that clock must be fast!" Out of reflex, Shikamaru turned to look at the clock and caught Asuma moving from the corner of his eye. "Aw, that's a pity, too. I almost won."  
  
Shikamaru looked down at the board, then glared up at his instructor. "You took out three of my pieces and switched them with three of yours."  
  
Asuma looked aghast. "How can you insinuate that your teacher would do such a thing?"  
  
"Because I can see three black pieces in your bowl of whites."  
  
He looked down. "Oh." He dug around the stones with a finger. "Ah well, next time I'll hide them better."  
  
"Next time, huh? Next time I won't let you touch the pieces."  
  
"Eh? Then how am I supposed to play?"  
  
"Imagine it."  
  
He leaned back. "Hm, I can already imagine beating you right now! Oh, there's a good spot!"  
  
"Forget it. Your imagination is more annoying than anything else."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Because you always came up with annoying work for us." Shikamaru scowled, putting away the game. "I'll see you later."  
  
"Of course, of course." Asuma waved at the boy. "You have a promotion ceremony in a week, I'll help you get ready for it Tuesday. And Shikamaru! Don't forget! Don't think so much!"  
  
He only paused to scowl before he walked out the restaurant.  
  
His mood was foul. It was almost tactile as he half-stormed, half-sulked down the street. His mind raged, cursing at every horrible, horrible turn of events. He didn't want to be a chuunin. He didn't want to do that rescue team and damned if he didn't want to be a hero! He was only glad no one else really seemed to know about that, and maybe he was weird, but the new found respect he saw in the eyes of some of the instructors and fellow (former fellow) genin really got on his nerves. He wasn't out to impress anyone, but no one was letting him sink into the background.  
  
As always when he was in a bad mood, his mind raced with thoughts. Mainly thinking about cursing someone's ears off or beating the inanimate shit out of the underused punching bag at home. And, as always, when he finally got home, his mind had already burned off all the excessive energy, leaving him more than happy to just lounge around and slow down his thoughts.  
  
"I'm home." He called out dully, slipping his sandals off at the door. He wasn't surprised to hear no answer.  
  
However, as the young Nara walked out to the living room where the shogi board laid out (he and his father would move a piece whenever one of them got the chance, so it was always in the middle of a game- until his father got tired of losing that game and started over from the beginning) and went to move his piece (he'd been waiting for this move since his last turn), he saw a piece of paper stuck on the board.  
  
It read: 'Heard the good news! Will be back to celebrate tomorrow. Be sure to eat a lot of greasy food until then, boy!'  
  
Then again, he thought, maybe a few rounds of beating something wouldn't be too bad....  
  
He left then, turn forgotten.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
Edit: I changed their game to one that I actually know how to play. My mom taught it to me, it's Korean. I have no idea what it's called but basically what you have to do is try to get your stones (either white or black) into five in a row. Once you get three in a row, you say 'three', giving your opponent two chances to try and save their asses.  
  
Blargh. I really haven't been feeling like writing, so I'm sorry for this. Hell, even trying to think of an author's note is a pain in the ass.... -.- ;;  
  
The thing about luck, well, a lot of people would say that Shikamaru is one lucky bastard. He's smart, he's depended on by his team, thought highly of by the people closest to him, and he's the only one in his class to be promoted. But, then again, his dream was to be an average guy that no one bugs, so getting all this attention is exactly the last thing he wants. Hence he cursing luck and thinking that he has /bad/ luck.  
  
Er.... I don't smoke myself, so I hope I sound convincing enough about all that dookey for you^^ And yes, Asuma-sensei does strike me as the type that would cheat if he had the opportunity. And also that type that would probably annoy Shikamaru most because he doesn't really seem very 'adult' (of course, that would mean he'd get annoyed with Kakashi-sensei even more, probably). Also note: greasy foods tend to help keep you from getting drunk. It's really helpful when you get people trying to get you drunk enough to puke *knows this well.... er, except for people trying to get me to puke^^;;*  
  
Though I'm really enjoying this arc, I really hope it ends soon. Some of the later chapters sort of depend on what's going on in the series. I mean, I /could/ just come out and say this is a complete AU type thing, but I'd rather not if I can help it. But don't worry, whatever happens in the series won't change what I already have planned *had this fic all figured out before she started* Yes, I'm anal. 


	8. Traditions

Stumbling Blind 8. Traditions  
  
bgm- "As Long as I am Breathing", The Rembrandts  
  
"Kanpai!"  
  
"Kanpai!"  
  
"To the lucky bastard known as my son!"  
  
"Here's to the lucky bastard!"  
  
"Nyahahahaha!"  
  
Shikamaru never knew his house could get so rowdy before. He never even knew his house could hold so many people and not start cracking at the foundations. It seemed to him that his dad had invited half the ninja in his company and bought out an entire liquor store. He scowled at their toast.  
  
He sat on the torn couch that was pushed against the wall. The first thing the jounins did was shove everything to the sides, clearing out a big area for them to roughhouse around in and pass out once they reached their limit. Shikamaru really didn't want to be here, but if he made a move towards any exit, he knew his dad would notice.  
  
He always noticed stupid things like that.  
  
Shikamaru snorted and starred at his cup, glowering at the clear liquid inside. Some female- that seemed far too comfortable in the company of a bunch of drunk men in Shikamaru's opinion –was playing bartender and had giving him a gin and tonic near the beginning of the party. It was nearing midnight and the glass was only half emptied.  
  
But the older shinobi were determined to have him- as they called it –call the dinosaurs (it wasn't until he asked his dad he found out it meant they were trying to get him to drink till he puked) and there were shots of tequila every hour. After the third hour, he was relieved that they were starting to get so drunk they were losing all track of time and memory that he was still there.  
  
"Oh yeah! Shot time!"  
  
He grimaced inwardly. Until that damned toast, anyway.  
  
"Wait, wait, wait!" His dad got to his feet and held out his hands, swaying more on solid ground than he would on an ocean voyage. "Nah, /this/ time, he's gotta take," he grinned in a way that made Shikamaru shudder, "the Four Horsemen."  
  
The way the others' eyes lit up and went 'ooooooooh', made him really want to get away at that moment. But with ten pairs of calculating eyes and matching grins turned on him, he knew he was dead.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The cold night felt good, especially the cool metal railing against his head. After seeing how well he handled the Four Horsemen (falling short of tearing his own throat out), the jounin were then trying to pound any drink they could into him. In theory he should be feeling a lot worse at this moment instead of only having a slight headache and feeling really sleepy.  
  
It had to have been the curry he had earlier that day, right before the party started. It was his mother's special recipe (she had a love of exotic foods) and her cookbook was one of the few things she had left behind. He smiled against the night breeze. No wonder she had wrote a note on the side: "Shikato's medicine", it left enough grease around the stomach to make Crisco.  
  
"Ah, there you are, boy."  
  
He didn't look up, but said, "Hi, Dad."  
  
"Wondered where you went off to."  
  
"You're surprisingly upright."  
  
"Yeah, well," he grinned wickedly, words only a bare slur, "when you drink as much as I do, your body learns to stand up without you. Beside, I found your mom's curry in the fridge. Big help, even after you drink."  
  
"Hn."  
  
He sat down next to his son, dangling his legs over the porch. "You're a pretty good cook. I should have you make me dinners every night."  
  
"You say that every time I make a meal."  
  
"Really?" His brow furrowed. "What do you usually say in return?"  
  
"'We don't have enough food in the house to cook a meal all the time.' "  
  
"We would if you weren't being lazy and not go out shopping."  
  
Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow. "Me? You're the one bringing in all the money /and/ you're the one that spends every minute here asleep."  
  
"It's a comfortable place to sleep, you can't dispute that."  
  
"Hn." He looked back over the block, but a soft smile was on his lips. "No, you can't."  
  
"You know boy," his father clapped a heavy hand on his shoulder, "I don't say this enough, but I'm really proud of you."  
  
He looked back up at his dad, "Why?"  
  
"Why?" Shikato looked genuinely shocked. "Why shouldn't I be? You're my son, you're incredibly smart, talented and you've got a good heart. What shouldn't I be proud about?"  
  
"I'm lazy. I don't like to do things and people annoy me. That's not really stuff you should be proud of."  
  
"But you're forgetting, I'm like that, too." He leaned against his hands. "I've learned to accept that in me. It's not really stuff I like about me, and maybe I could change it if I weren't too lazy to," he grinned, "besides, you can't let a couple of bad points make up your entire opinion of someone. You have to take the good with the bad, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
They sat quietly for a while, Shikato fingering a shot glass his hands had inadvertently brought out with him. The drop of liquid amber, perpetually rimming the bottom of the glass, slid down a knotted finger as he tilted it. Nights like this always brought about memories. A lot of things did.  
  
"What part of me," he was surprised to hear Shikamaru speak first, "is like mom?"  
  
He clutched the glass in a tight fist, feeling it strain under his grip. The subject of his mother was rarely breached, especially by Shikamaru. "Everything good, really." He left out a huff. "Around the eyes and when you smiled." He winced inwardly when he caught himself saying the past tense. Shikamaru rarely smiled and he felt responsible for it. "You look more like your mother than you might think." He laughed shortly. "When you look at us, you can tell we're related. When you where with your mother, the resemblance was uncanny. She was so talented and was the most loyal, most dependable person I've ever met. And so smart. She may even be smarter than you.  
  
"She knew, right off the bat, you were special. She could tell from the moment you were born that you were going to be something great. You picked things up so quickly, it was amazing. She taught you so much before she left. How to walk, how to talk, taught you all your manners. She even got you to recognize characters. You couldn't read or anything, but you knew what some simple words meant, it was amazing." His soft smile took a sad turn. "And when she left, you closed yourself off. You wouldn't talk anymore, you wouldn't point at things and tell me what they were. Instead, you picked up all my bad habits, and whenever I wasn't there...." He shook his head, unwilling to remember.  
  
"I'm really sorry for how alone you had to grow up. I love your mother dearly, it still hurts like hell. Sometimes, though, I think I could hate her. So many times I just sit there and think about her and miss her and wonder how she's doing. When you were little, I told you everything I could about her to keep you from missing her like I do. I know it doesn't really help, but I thought if you knew about her, you wouldn't wonder about her so much."  
  
There was another pause. Shikamaru, again, broke the silence. "Being so serious doesn't really suit you." He gave his father a wry grin. "You're never serious."  
  
The grin was returned in equal parts. "And you're never not serious. I guess we balance out."  
  
"Hn." He looked back into the night. "....So I got my intelligence from mom, huh?"  
  
"Well, you know me. Cleverness is something that just comes in a flash of inspiration. You and your mother are abundant with that stuff. I was actually kinda jealous." His thick arms crossed over the rail, chin resting on them. "She would've made a great ninja but she didn't like killing. She understood why I had to, but she never liked it. Maybe that was the real reason she left, I don't know. But you've got what she has, it's just all the years of solitude has you hiding it. People with good sense, though, they can tell you have it. When Asuma said he did an IQ test on you, I told him I didn't care." Shikamaru looked at him in surprise. "I told him I already knew you were smart and I didn't need any test to prove it."  
  
Eyes wide, his brow smoothed out. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah." His father broke out in a face splitting grin. "Then I told him to tell me what it was anyway so I could rub it in that know-it-all Kazuki's face and his little brat of a kid."  
  
Shikamaru snorted and turned away, but a slight smile was on his face.  
  
"I couldn't ask for a better kid. You never get into trouble- serious trouble, anyway –I never have to worry about you- though sometimes I wish I have to –and you always listen to people. That's why it always kills me whenever someone thinks you're stupid because I know you're not. I know you can run circles around those bastards, so I tried to teach you everything I could, keep you from acting in a way that would make people say that."  
  
"Well, they can think what they want."  
  
"And you'll be happy with that?"  
  
Unconsciously, a hand went up to the locket around his neck. He found himself holding it more and more recently. "Unless it's people that matter, I'm fine with it. I'm not out to change people's opinions."  
  
Shikato had a sly smile on his face. He knew about the locket. He knew more about it than Shikamaru did. "It's always that one person, isn't it? The person most important to you."  
  
To his annoyance, he felt his cheeks grow flush. "You know about that, don't you."  
  
He cupped his chin in a hand, lazy but deliberate. "The locket or important people?"  
  
His son shot him a glare. "What about the locket?"  
  
"The Yamanaka locket? Oh, I know /all/ about it. After all, Inoshi's my best friend, he told me everything there is to know about it. How when they're little, they're told to give it to the person most important to them, their best friend, generally. Of course, not like a guy's gonna be handing out necklaces to his buds and all. They're also told that when they get older and find that certain person, when they're old enough to realize who that person is, they give them their locket." His grin got toothy. "At 'the age'," he said it as if Shikamaru would know automatically what 'the age' is, "they marry whoever holds their locket."  
  
......  
  
Oh. /That/ age.  
  
Shikamaru's blush darkened and he tried to cover it up by being pissed. "We're only 12! It's not like I'm the love of her life or anything." He scowled, not believing he just said that. "Besides, she's stuck thinking about someone else."  
  
"Even if she is, they're apparently not that important to her."  
  
"She only drools over the mere mention of his name."  
  
"But that doesn't mean that he's important."  
  
Shikamaru gave his father an incredulous look. "What do you mean by that."  
  
"There's eye candy everywhere. There's people you admire and people you look up to. But an important person is someone you want to protect, someone you want to be with and make happy. But the biggest part is," he had a smile that was oddly warm- it made Shikamaru feel more like a child than before, "a truly important person thinks you're just as important to them. That's why you have it and he doesn't."  
  
The boy looked down at his feet, fingering the locket that his palm had memorized long ago. He nearly jumped off the porch as a large hand damn near swatted him into the railing.  
  
"Aw, don't look so glum!" His father cheered happily. "She already made her move. It's your turn now. She won't do anything until then." Shikamaru scowled. "And, seeing as it's late at night, it wouldn't be a good idea to go tell her now-"  
  
"I don't have anything /to/ tell her." He snapped irritably.  
  
"-so," the older man continued on, "you'll just have to wait until morning, eh? Or until you're over your hang over."  
  
"I didn't drink enough to-"He clamped his mouth shut.  
  
"That just means you gotta drink more! C'mon, boy!" He guided his son bodily into the house. "Three hours 'till dawn. Plenty of time to get pissed!"  
  
If Shikamaru ever thought about wishing he were someone else, now was the time.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
*immediately falls to her knees* I know it's short! I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to be this short, but I couldn't think of writing anything else that wouldn't /really/ seem like it was forced! Next chapter, I'm certain will more than make up for the crappy quality of this and the last chapter. I /promise/!  
  
I'm going off my own military knowledge on some of this stuff, here. Each team or solo ninja is part of a company which is part of a battalion which is then part of the entire organization known as Hidden Leaf Ninja. It's just easier for the higher ups to deal with. There's someone in charge of each company and someone in charge of each battalion. Though it's a bit more complex in the real military, I've simplified it here. Each battalion is organized by the skill each team specializes in. For example, a company made up of shinobi specializing in espionage (infiltration, gathering information, stealth) would be in the same company as those that are good at scouting (tracking, finding traps) and assassinations (stealth, getting in and out of areas quickly). I could get into it more, but I'm sure you don't really care. Though, just for the record, I'd probably lump Shikamaru's dad in a support company.  
  
The Four Horsemen shot is something that some of my friends at work do. For someone to be officially part of their group and the bar (which is their prime hang out spot), they have to down and 'survive' the Four Horsemen which is made up of Jack, Jose, Jim and something I can never remember^^;;. It's a highly potent shot, as you can tell. Grease is a good alcohol absorbent, chili is an especially good thing to eat before and while you drink, but chili might be a bit /to/ exotic, so I put in curry, instead (which is also a good stomach liner).  
  
And on a note about alcohol, I don't know much Asian drinks except for the usual stuff. And brand name beers (like kirin and the like), so I just went with the stuff I know^^;;  
  
Shikamaru's dad, in my mind, is a lot like Asuma, except- to me –he has a sharper feel. Little darker and more cynical, but never very serious and pretty lazy in his own right. Points that tend to annoy Shikamaru, as well. I wouldn't say they have a bad relationship, but time apart set an irreparable distance between them.  
  
You /will/ like the next chapter. I /promise/. 


	9. Say Anything

Stumbling Blind 9. Say.... Anything  
  
bgm- "Pain", Joanne Hogg  
  
He had gone to find Ino. Instead, he was bombarded with stares and questions and congratulations. Shikamaru attempted to hide in the collar of his flak jacket- which his father forced him to wear under threat of surgically attaching it to his body. The boy let out a relieved huffed when the Yamanaka store came into view.  
  
Stuffing his fists into his pockets, he ambled inside, trying to look natural.  
  
"Shikamaru-kun!"  
  
He barely got a look at Ino's mother before she wrapped him into a hug that nearly had him suffocating on her shoulder.  
  
"Your father told me the moment he got word! Let me get a look at you!" She pushed him an arm's distance away, turning him this way and that. "You look so good! I wish I could've made it to your promotion ceremony. Inoshi said he hasn't seen your father so proud since you were born!" She crushed him into another hug. "We're all so proud of you, Shikamaru-kun."  
  
"Un." He shifted his flak uneasily. "Thanks." He wondered if he sounded as awkward as he thought.  
  
Suddenly, as if remembering that the boy wasn't there to be hugged and cooed over, she pulled back abruptly. "Oh, are you here to see Ino?" Shikamaru nodded. "She's taking care of the plants. You remember where the garden is, don't you?"  
  
He nodded again. "Yeah. Thanks." Uneasily, he gave her a little wave and tried to look as if he wasn't hurrying out of the shop.  
  
The walk to the garden wasn't long. It sat at the eastern side of the village and was fairly secluded in the thick trees yet still in viewing distance of the town. The Yamanaka shop itself was near the outskirts and the trip generally took not even 20 minutes.  
  
He found Ino kneeling among the rows of flowers, carefully arranging any petals that entangled with each other, pulling out the weeds and peeling off any destructive insects. She was humming to herself in her diligence, not noticing anything asides from her beloved flower. The bugs were never a big problem, the trees were filled with birds that dealt with them.  
  
She wore, he was surprised, baggy trousers and t-shirt, well worn and dirty. Red splotched gloves were on her hands and an off-white scarf held back her hair. For a moment, the resemblance between her and her mother were uncanny.  
  
Shikamaru clenched his throat, trying to think of something to say. So, he settled for her name. "Ino."  
  
More than a little startled, she jerked up. "Ah!" She smiled brightly. "Shikamaru! What're you doing here?"  
  
"Um.... Nothing else to do." He was starting to feel foolish.  
  
"So you only come see me when you're bored? You're mean." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Give me a few minutes and we can go somewhere else."  
  
"Here's fine." Ino looked at him in mild surprise.  
  
"Okay...." She sat back on her heels, taking off her gloves and scarf. Her hair fell just above her shoulders and Shikamaru realized he'd never seen her with her hair down before- not short, anyway, and not unless she was trying to be 'sexy', which he never really understood.  
  
"Is there something special you want to talk about?"  
  
"N-Nothing, really." He scowled, trying to hide his embarrassment.  
  
"Yeah, right. C'mon, tell me."  
  
"It's nothing." His mind raced, one part trying to figure out a way to: dammit, just say it already, another screaming at him that this was, in /no/ /way/, the way to tell her. And another part was telling him to leave before he could embarrass himself any further.  
  
"I don't believe you. But," she stretched, the sleeves fell to her pale shoulders- they used to be her father's clothes when he was younger, "it's a nice day and I'm in a good mood. So I'll forgive you this time."  
  
At that point, a strong wind pushed through the clearing, plucking up the loose petals and feathers, swirling them around the garden. It caught Ino off guard and she fell back on her elbows, flowers brushing gently across her glowing cheeks. She laughed into the wind, pulling her soft hair from her face.  
  
And, with her clear blue eyes bright, her eyes caught Shikamaru's.  
  
He thought he felt his heart stop.  
  
She's.... beautiful.  
  
He never thought it and believed it so powerfully before. Say it! His mind cried. Say it!!  
  
"Ino...."  
  
Smile still on her lips, the wind died to a gentle breeze. "Hm?"  
  
"I...."  
  
She sat up, sensing something important.  
  
"....I...."  
  
/WAIT!/ His mind crashed to a halt. What are you /doing/?!  
  
Buh? Said the rest of his head.  
  
You can't tell her! Look at her!  
  
......okay.  
  
She's in ugly clothes. She's got dirt and sweat all over her. She probably hasn't bathed today, yet.  
  
And....?  
  
Do you think she'd let anyone see her like this? Ino's vain! She always has to look her best! The fact that you can see her like this now just means that she doesn't think you're important enough to impress! You have nothing she wants, you don't have any values she likes, what chance do you think you have?  
  
.... Oh.  
  
"Shikamaru?" His eyes focused on Ino, who was looking at him, concerned. "Are you okay?"  
  
"It's.... It's nothing." He turned abruptly. "I just forgot something." He walked off, then stopped. "I'll.... I'll see you later."  
  
"Eh? Oh. ....Okay." The other replied quietly, watching as Shikamaru walked away.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"So you chickened out?"  
  
"I did /not/ 'chicken' out."  
  
"But you didn't tell her."  
  
".....It's not the same thing."  
  
Chouji frowned, an odd effect with chips in his cheeks. "You chickened out."  
  
His friend glared at him. "Shut it."  
  
Shrugging padded shoulders, Chouji held his bag upside down, trying to shake out stray crumbs. "Okay, fine. Of course, if you don't tell her, you'll just be hearing worse from your dad and you know he never stops."  
  
With a grimace, Shikamaru wondered if the world was conspiring against him. Or if it was just his father and best friend.  
  
My move, he thought. And looking at the options opened to him, he didn't have an awful lot to choose from.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Shikamaru didn't know how long he stood outside the flower shop, hands clenched and occasionally drying his palms against his shorts when he had nothing else to do.  
  
I can do this, he thought. It can't be that hard.  
  
After all, the worse she can do is say no.  
  
And laugh in your face and say she never wants to see you again.  
  
Damn, but he really didn't like his head at that moment.  
  
He took a deep breath, then two more just for luck. Putting a palm against the door, he gave it a push.  
  
Ino was behind the counter, looking up at the sound of the bell. The tassels wound about her bun twisted elegantly, matching the deep red of her soft, Mandarin styled shirt, blue eyes and pale skin enhanced by matching powder scarlet eye shadow and lipstick. Vain though she was, she preferred simplicity in her appearance. Which was fine. She had enough natural beauty, she didn't need much of anything to garner attention.  
  
Shikamaru wondered why he never bothered to see it before.  
  
"Ah, you're back." She smiled at him, eyes warm. He lost his nerve. "I knew you couldn't keep away from me for long."  
  
To his horror, Shikamaru felt his cheeks heat up. He kept his head down, frowning and resolutely telling himself he was /not/ /blushing/, dammit!  
  
"Shikamaru? Is something wrong?" She received silence. "Shikamaru."  
  
She rounded the counter and went up to him. The closer she got, the warmer his cheeks felt.  
  
"Are you okay? Your face is so flush!" That only made him blush deeper. "C'mon." Grabbing his hand she took him into the back room. "If you weren't feeling good earlier, you should've said so!" She moved to put the back of her hand against his forehead. "You don't have to make excuses for me-"  
  
In a fit of frustration, he snagged her wrist. "I'm fine!" She doesn't even notice, he thought painfully. She always knew when another guy liked her, so why doesn't she notice me?  
  
Because you're not the type of guy she'd want liking her. She doesn't want that attention from you so she's ignoring it. She wants you to ignore it, too.  
  
That.... That's not fair.... Shikamaru's shoulders slumped. She won't even give me a chance....  
  
He turned. "Sorry for bothering you." His voice seemed hoarse to himself.  
  
"Shikamaru!" She stood indignant. "What's wrong with you?"  
  
".....It's nothing."  
  
"Like hell!" Ino gave into her childish tantrum and stomped a foot. "If you have something to say, then say it!"  
  
"Not everything is as easy as that."  
  
"If it's not then it's because you're making it like that!"  
  
His voice was part cold, part wounded. "If that's the case, then it's just something I have to work out on my own."  
  
Ino frowned. "Why won't you tell me?"  
  
At the pleading note in her voice, Shikamaru felt his insides collapse, wobbling together somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach. ".....Maybe later."  
  
If I have the guts.....  
  
He walked out of the store, heading down towards..... somewhere else. He didn't go more than five steps before he stopped and smacked himself in the head.  
  
Asuma was right. He had just thought himself right out of it. Any time he finally figured he had the courage to tell her, his mind thought him into a U-turn. He was really starting to dislike it.  
  
Or maybe it was just the fact that it was Asuma that had him pinned. And that it was Asuma who was predicting just how he'd act. Maybe it was childish, but Shikamaru really didn't like the idea that his instructor thought he had figured Shikamaru out (first relationships, then what?).  
  
He stood and thought about fidgeting for a moment. Just until he convinced himself to go back into the flower shop, anyway. But fidgeting wasn't something he did and thought it was a stupid thing to think about when he had more pressing matters that demanded his attention. Then he realized that it was that sort of thinking that kept him in the same square for so long.  
  
Fine! He growled to himself. I'll go in and tell her! He did a sharp about-face. And proceed to not move forward. Okay, okay, okay. I am going back into the shop. I will find Ino and I will /tell/ /her/ that I like her.  
  
His feet were not convinced.  
  
"/Move/!" He found himself snapping at them. He didn't even bother to look around to see if anyone was within hearing distance. He didn't have the most sparkling reputation to begin with, a couple people thinking he was crazy most likely wouldn't hurt him any.  
  
They did as he commanded, taking him back into the shop.  
  
And straight into a Yamanaka Ice Glare.  
  
Unlike most other cold looks, the Yamanaka Clan had a different way of going about it. The Uchiha Clan and the Hyuuga Clan, they had patents on several different forms of glacial glares. The Nara family had a look that could stop a full grown and capable ninja cold in their tracks and blank out any thought in their head. Even the Abarame Clan- whose eyes were difficult to see through their sunglasses –gave off a glare like being shot through with a cold laser. The Yamanaka family, though, were known for birthing some fiery tempers- which was logical because their blood technique required the user to have a very strong will. They had a glare that was like a thin sheet of cracking ice and a volcano, roaring just below the surface, ready to blow at any given moment.  
  
Shikamaru didn't think he was ever that frightened of a girl before in his life.  
  
"You." Ino commanded, no room for argument, no regard for the customer she was dealing with. "Upstairs. /Now/." Shikamaru tried to open his mouth, but found his tongue was inexplicably glued to the roof of his mouth. "I'll deal with you in a minute."  
  
That was not the tone of voice you said no to. Not if you wanted to walk straight and not consider permanent placement in a boys' choir.  
  
Trying his damndest /not/ to look like a dog with his tail between his legs, Shikamaru obediently went up the stairs in the back, sat on the steps halfway up and tried not to agonize over his fate.  
  
He had heard from Ino's dad that his own father was whipped in his married life. Shikamaru wondered if this was what it was like.  
  
Pretty soon he heard stomping feet on the abused, wooden planks. Hastily he stood, nearly coming to attention when the blonde stormed up the steps toward him.  
  
"You!" She practically shouted, jabbing a finger painfully in his chest. "You have got some explaining to do!"  
  
Shikamaru blinked. "What?"  
  
"Don't give me that! You have something to say. I /know/ you have something to say. And you won't say it and it's really starting to tick me off!" By this point, Ino was practically standing on Shikamaru's toes. "You are not leaving until you tell me." She growled in his face.  
  
"I can't tell you /now/."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
With a quick sidestep, Shikamaru began moving passed her, waving an annoyed hand over his shoulder. "I'll come back when you're in the right mood for it." He grumbled.  
  
"What mood am I /supposed/ to be in?"  
  
"A not pissed one."  
  
"Every time I'll see you, I'm gonna be so pissed about this I'm never going to be in a /not/ pissed mood!"  
  
He looked over his shoulder at her. "Well that's not /my/ problem. I /know/ what I have to say, /you're/ the one that wants to know."  
  
"God, Shikamaru! You're such a jerk!"  
  
It happened like each scene was taken like a photo, the shutter capturing each moment in its precision clatter.  
  
Ino moved a hand to shove at him in her temper.  
  
Shikamaru turned on the step, scathing remark on his tongue.  
  
The force of her hand on his shoulder pushed his weight onto his back foot, hanging half off the edge of the stair.  
  
She saw him pitch backward, eyes widening in vague surprise.  
  
Before she realized he was falling, Ino had grabbed his arm.  
  
He panicked then, knowing that his weight would drag her down with him.  
  
Shikamaru pushed her against the railing, breaking her grip on him.  
  
*THUNKthuthuthuthunk!*  
  
"Shikamaru!" He groaned at the bottom of the stairs, sprawled on the bottom three steps. Shikamaru's head and shoulders were angled oddly on the landing as he painfully pushed himself to his elbows. "Shikamaru!" Ino skipped the stairs as she skidded to his side. "Are you-"  
  
"You're not hurt?" It was meant to be an observation, but failed.  
  
"Me?" For a moment it seemed no other thought would come to her. "/You're/ the one that fell down the stairs!"  
  
"Obviously. It's not like I'd let you do something that stupid."  
  
This time, nothing /did/ come to her.  
  
"Ino?" He asked after a length of time. "Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
"You...." She knelt next to him. "You purposefully pushed me away?"  
  
"If you held on to me, you would've fallen, too."  
  
"But...." 'you're always protecting me' didn't come out of her mouth.  
  
"Would you rather fall down the steps? It wasn't fun." He grunted, wincing faintly.  
  
Heavily, Ino sat down beside him, a hand against her forehead. She looked like she was on the verge of crying. "Why do you always have to be so /nice/?"  
  
Shikamaru blinked. Him and nice weren't often in the same sentence. Even less in a positive way. Swiveling on his rear, he rested his back against the wall, stretched out a banged up leg. His ankle was less than a few inches away from Ino's knee.  
  
Neither said anything for a long while.  
  
Finally, steeling his pained nerves, he reached into his shirt and pulled out the locket. Thoughtlessly he rubbed a thumb against a worn side.  
  
"Ino...?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Why did you give this to me?"  
  
Her blue eyes flickered up and rested on the locket for a moment before she looked away again, blushing slightly.  
  
"Why? You don't like it?"  
  
"You said you're supposed to give it to someone important to you."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"My dad told me you give it to the most important person in your life. He told me you give this to," he tried to swallow the heat spreading across the bridge of his nose, "the person you intend to marry."  
  
Her blush darkened and she tried to look like it didn't matter to her. She merely managed to appear haughty. "So what? You don't want to be important?"  
  
"I didn't say that." His fist tightened around it. "I just want to know.... Why didn't you give it to Sasuke?"  
  
Ino lowered her head. "Because.... I knew that I would never get him. He's above everyone else, so untouchable. He's sexy and he's talented and it would be nice to get his attention. If it weren't for the fact that I hang on him, I doubt he'd even know I was alive." She smiled bitterly. "I admire him. I wish I could be so strong and cool. Everyone likes him, though, and I sort of hate it. Sakura thought I loved him and she thought I'd leave her for him. So she left instead. And... I sort of hate him because of it. So I hurt her by being close to him. If I could have him, it would be fun because then everyone would be jealous of me. I'd be the center of attention, just because of him."  
  
Shikamaru's brow furrowed as she spoke, not sure what to make of her words.  
  
"If he ever asked me out, I'd jump at the chance. I'd be so happy. But, I wouldn't know what to do. Sasuke-kun's something like a fantasy, you know? Nice to dream about, but you know it'll never happen. Like white knights and fairytale romances. When it comes down to it, I'd like something honest and real. People that I trust, and a moment of truth so raw it hurts. That's why I gave my locket to you. Because I know you're someone that won't hurt me, you're someone I can trust. And...." she clenched a fist against her thigh, "I don't have to worry about you not coming back to me. Because I know that you will. Just like last time." She smiled up at him, trying to blink back the tears and only succeeded in making them overflow.  
  
"Ino..." He moved forward, reaching out to brush away her tears, then stopped. He dug into his pockets for a kleenex or a handkerchief and cursed when he came up empty. She giggled and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.  
  
"It's okay. It's kind of stupid, I guess." Fiddling with her fingers, she said quietly, "I can take back my locket if you don't want it."  
  
"I didn't say that." Shikamaru repeated. "I just.... I just didn't want to be runner-up."  
  
She blinked at him in surprise. "'R-Runner... up'?"  
  
He scowled slightly, trying to find the right words. "Yeah. I didn't want to be some sort of consolation prize, just because you couldn't get Sasuke. If I were supposed to be your most important person, I want to /be/ the most important. I don't want to be 'the most important except for Sasuke'." Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head, looking slightly sheepish. "Did that make any sense?"  
  
"Not.... really." But she laughed. "But I think I kind of get it."  
  
"Good." He gave her a small smile. An uncomfortable silence fell between them as they looked anywhere but at each other. "Um," he tried to keep his voice normal and tried not to wince if it wasn't. He failed at both. "So.... you like me? Even though I'm a lazy bum?"  
  
Ino shrugged vaguely. "You're lazy when you can be. But you're there when it really matters, so...." She blushed, reaching up and twirling a tassel between her slim fingers. "Do you like me? Even though I'm annoying?"  
  
The way he was leaning against the wall was starting to hurt to hurt his back so he shifted. "You're not all that annoying." When she looked up at him, he turned his gaze. "....you're really not annoying at all."  
  
Ino blinked. "Really....?" Her response was a shrug, but it caused her to smile. "Thanks."  
  
Again they fidgeted, not really sure what they were supposed to do now.  
  
C'mon, you idiot! Shikamaru's brain prodded itself. She already said she likes you, just say it!  
  
.....you were the one that said she could never like me to begin with.  
  
Are you going to let something as inconsequential as the past stop you? Just ask her! After all, you can't go back to how you were before already. Just look at how you're acting around each other, even if it doesn't work out, it won't matter anymore. You're too shy to even look her in the face, now.  
  
.....I am not. But Shikamaru still scowled to himself, because he knew it was true. "O-Oi, Ino." The way she shyly looked up at him, cheeks flushed with an amazingly meek expression he didn't know she had- he couldn't think with her looking like that. "Um," he looked away, "do-do you.... Wannagooutsometime?"  
  
Ino sat up a little straighter. "What?"  
  
Biting the bullet, he repeated, "Do you-"  
  
"You mean.... like a date?"  
  
"Um, yeah. I guess so."  
  
Her face spread into a wide smile. "I'd love to!" It looked as if she were going to clap and giggle happily, or glomp him or bounce or something of the like- until she remembered: "Oh! I still have work- AH! No one's been in the shop!" She jolted to her feet and almost ran off but remembered herself and turned around. "I'm sorry, Shikamaru. Maybe tomorrow or-or," she stuttered and blushed.  
  
"Tonight?" He hazard. She nodded and looked at him, somewhat hopeful. "O- Okay. I guess I can do dinner."  
  
"I can meet you at your house after I close up." Ino reached down to pull him to his feet. "I'm sorry, but I really didn't mean to take so long and- "  
  
"Ino." He cut her off, squeezing her hands gently. "It's okay, I know."  
  
After a pause, she let out a little breath, returning the soft pressure. "Okay...." She was reluctant to let him go, to even move from under his eyes. They were really pretty, she thought, a deep almond color, just short of black. She wondered why she only noticed them now. "I-I'll see you tonight, then." Almost painfully she pulled her hands from his and took a couple steps back on weak legs.  
  
"Un." He gave her a soft smile and she couldn't help blushing deeper. He really does look good, she thought, even without the flak.  
  
Ino couldn't help the bright smile that stayed with her for the rest of the day.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
If you think this is the end, you are so wrong. *grins* And I'm sure you're happy with that.  
  
Do you know how many different ways I tried to think of to get one/both of them to admit they liked each other? Pretty much any way you could think of, but it all seemed so trite to me! I needed something different, something new, something that wasn't just your average 'confession' scene. So I hope this turned out right^^  
  
This is the sort of humor I write. If you see a comedy from me, don't expect slapstick, dirty jokes or dumb airheads. Unless the occasion calls for it. No, the comedies you get from me is wit, the most random string of words to be put in one sentence, the most random things to create a sentence /of/. And in case you haven't noticed, I had a lot of fun writing the pissed!Ino parts^^ I'd feel bad for Shikamaru, but he's pretty properly whipped already, so I don't think he really has much to worry about XD  
  
While I do agree that I think part of the reason Ino chases after Sasuke so shamelessly is because she wants to get back at Sakura- make her mad and make her hurt, just like Ino did when Sakura no longer wanted to be her friend, that seems to be pretty much her only excuse in every ShikaIno fic I've seen. And, while I /do/ agree with it, I don't think it's the only reason. /And/ I didn't want to look like I was copying everyone else. I guess an easier way to understand what Ino means, think of it like a crush on some superstar actor or singer. Sure, you think he's hot, you'd be more than happy to go out on a date with him but you really don't know him and you have no idea what you'd do with him. Besides, even if a big name celebrity that you didn't like asked you out, you'd probably say yes, just because you'd be getting a shit load of attention and be the jealousy of countless people.  
  
So, between those two reason, I think, is why Ino chases Sasuke. She knows he's a lost cause to her and just about everyone else *coughexceptNarutocough*, but sometimes that chase is just fun. A smart girl like her knows the difference between a dream and reality (i'd like to think). 


	10. The Sasuke Issue

Stumbling Blind 10. The Sasuke Issue  
  
bgm- "Blurry", Puddle of Mudd  
  
They stood in front of the Hokage, three weary, three weak. The moment they stepped back into Konoha, ANBU had appeared behind them, silently taking Sasuke from Naruto's numb hands and Akamaru from Kiba's torn arms. The dark hard boy had wanted to follow them, wanted to make sure his beloved partner would be all right, but Shikamaru had stopped him.  
  
"We have to report to Hokage-sama, first." He said calmly, hand firm on his shoulder. "It'll give the doctors time to heal Akamaru."  
  
Kiba didn't say anything, but his eyes became resigned. There was something inside Shikamaru he respected, something he would follow him blindly for. Reluctantly, he nodded his head, the three trudging slowly to Tsunade's office.  
  
The village let them pass in an eerie silence.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Ino! Ino!"  
  
She knew that voice anywhere, looking up to find Sakura flagging her down. There was a desperate look in her expression.  
  
"Sakura? What's wrong?" She took a couple steps toward the other girl, just short of holding her upright as she bent double, trying to catch her breath.  
  
"The-The team....." Sakura managed to let out, "they came back....! They brought..... brought back Sasuke-kun!"  
  
"The team?" Ino's breath froze in her chest. "Shikamaru-"  
  
A trembling hand on her arm stopped any other thought. "They say," Sakura said quietly, "only three of the five came back."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Her face was grim, but she looked upon them with unabashed respect.  
  
"You've completed your primary objective." Tsunade's hands stacked already even papers. "And you've managed to fend off all Orochimaru's ninja. You have my undying gratitude and respect. If there's anything I can do for you....." Her voice trailed off as her hands slowly stilled.  
  
Shikamaru knew what was going through her mind. "You know what happened to Chouji and Neji." It wasn't a question.  
  
"Un." The Hokage's hands clenched around her robe on the arm rests of her chair. She was determined not to swivel away from their faces. "A jounin team became available sometime after you had left. I sent them out as back up. They recovered the two Sound Nin as well as your two team members."  
  
He felt Naruto stiffen next to him, Kiba, on the other side, was tense and tried not to fidget. Shikamaru remained at rigged attention and begged himself not to show that he already knew.  
  
"Hyuuga Neji is in intensive care." She said calmly. "He's expected to pull through, though he's lost a lot blood. Akamichi Chouji was declared dead on site."  
  
Shikamaru thought he felt something break on both sides of him, the other two boys' stances tittering on shock. His mouth was suddenly dry and brain grasping for something to keep from shorting out, he said, "I know."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sakura and Ino raced to the admin building. The boys had to be debriefed, they knew, and hopped they'd be able to catch them.  
  
They weren't the only ones with that idea- Hinata and Rock Lee were already there. No doubt the other teams' members wouldn't be too far behind. Hinata had put her jacket over Kiba who sat at her feet, looking shellshock. However, she and Lee stood off to the sides, a rapt, morbid look on their faces.  
  
It was then Ino heard Naruto's voice.  
  
"What the hell did you mean 'I know'!? HUH? What the fuck did you know!?" A small crowd was gathering and Ino pushed her way forward. Between shoulders, she could see Naruto's hand was wrapped around the collar of Shikamaru's flak, the other was balled up tight enough to make his dark hand burn white at the knuckles.  
  
His only response came flat on a neutral expression. "I knew." Shikamaru said simply, hands limp at his side. They both looked like they barely survived hell. And, from Naruto's expression, it didn't look like Shikamaru would be able to brag that fact for too much longer.  
  
"HOW did you know?" He was loud enough to bring out the entire admin building, what few shinobi were able to, out around them.  
  
As best he could, Shikamaru shrugged. "I just did."  
  
The blonde's voice was little more than a growl from his throat. Ino thought she could see the marks on his cheeks grow darker and larger. "When did you find out? How come you didn't tell us?"  
  
"....." An odd emotion came over Shikamaru's face and passed, just like shadows.  
  
"TELL ME!" There were tears on Naruto's face now, clutching to Shikamaru more for support than for a threat. "Why didn't you tell us!?" He fell against the chuunin, head rocking against Shikamaru's chest as he sobbed quietly. "Why didn't you tell us Chouji died?"  
  
Someone gasped next to Ino, it must have been Sakura.  
  
Ino took a faltering step forward. "Shikamaru....?"  
  
He looked up at the girl, expression pensive but his eyes were afraid.  
  
"Chouji.... Is he really..... Did he.....?"  
  
The boy's expression steeled and he gripped Naruto's shoulders, pushing him away. He had to leave. He couldn't stay there and face the questions and accusations. His heart couldn't bear it.  
  
She wouldn't let him walk away. "Shikamaru!" Ino tried to keep the falter out of her voice, but she trembled inside. "Is Chouji really...." She couldn't even bring herself to say it.  
  
Shikamaru didn't look at her, or anyone. He kept his dark gaze trained ahead, willing himself to not see the people around them, willing them to not see him crack.  
  
"Ah." His voice was a little too deep, a little too raw. He had to get away.  
  
".....I-It can't be....." Her voice quivered and Shikamaru heard someone give a soft cry and someone fell to their knees.  
  
Don't look, he told himself. If you look now, if you try to comfort her, you'll just break. And you won't be able to stop.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" His jaw clenched, Naruto had snapped into another fury. "/Say/ something, dammit! He was your friend, wasn't he? He looked up to you! He trusted you! He fuckin' /believed/ in you and you're just going to walk away!? You're just going to leave us to deal with it like /this/? He stayed behind for /you/ and you're just going to give him a fucking cold shoulder like he never-"  
  
He was cut off by a harsh arm on his wrist, nails pinching his skin. "That's /enough/, Naruto!" Ino shook him harshly, her eyes overcome with emotion, face twisted in pain and rage. "Chouji is Shikamaru's best friend! They've looked out for each other since they met! Don't you DARE say Shikamaru never cared about him! Don't you DARE think this isn't hurting him!" The tears streamed down her cheeks, but she was too caught up in the roar of her emotions. "You've never done a thing for Chouji! You've never seen what Shikamaru's gone through for him- for both of us! Don't you DARE presume anything!"  
  
"Ino! Naruto!" Their names were harsh and sharp, cut short through the short bite of teeth. Shikamaru looked at them over his shoulder, the tears he fought so hard to hide tracing down a cheek. "That's enough." And for a moment, Naruto saw him and saw someone else and saw the same deep-seated regret and self-loathing.  
  
The moment passed and Shikamaru walked away, trying desperately to hold together the pieces that kept slipping through his fingers.  
  
Ino followed him, a shadow ten steps behind as she struggled to catch up to him. It wasn't more than two blocks away that she found him, curled in an alley, his barricade broken and trying to contain his wails within his shaking arms.  
  
The only thing Ino knew how to do was be at his side, trying to put him back together once more.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The sun was bright at Chouji's funeral. There wasn't a large turnout, asides from the other genin and a handful of chuunin and jounin, too many were still out on missions. Chouji's father was one of them. His mother declined having a messenger sent to tell him, not wanting to distract him.  
  
Shikamaru had tossed his flak into his closet. He wasn't going to insult his friend by wearing it (it was his order that got him killed, after all), he didn't want to touch it ever again. Chouji's family didn't blame him for his death- they had told him outright. They knew the dangers of being a ninja, most knew it intimately- losing close friends and family, scares of too many close calls. They had even asked him to do a eulogy for him. He declined automatically.  
  
Even if they didn't blame him, he blamed himself.  
  
Shikato had tried to put it in perspective for him, but, as he spoke, he came to realize- painfully –that he really had no connection to his son at all. He knew what he was feeling- the same feelings anyone else would go through –and he knew the boy blamed himself, but he didn't know what was going through Shikamaru's head. He didn't know his thoughts, or what words would help. And in the end, Shikato merely babbled to a stop and not even then would the child look at him with those haunted eyes he had seen reflected back in the mirror for years.  
  
He pulled his son close, trying not to weep as Shikamaru just sat there, locked inside himself.  
  
Shikato told Ino, before the service began, that she was the only one that had a chance to bring him out. "You and Chouji mean so much to him. He needs something stable in his life right now, someone insisting that this wasn't because of him. Right now, you're the only one that he'll honestly listen to, the only one whose opinions he'll seriously consider." He smiled self-incriminatingly. "To him, I'm just the father that was never there."  
  
As Chouji's mother spoke, her words tear strung, Ino reached over softly, taking Shikamaru's hand in hers. She tried to give him an encouraging squeeze, tried to get him to even glance at her, but his gaze fell unmoving on the ground, staring at a point too far for her to see.  
  
Ever since he stopped crying against her shoulders in the alley, he rarely spoke, didn't seem to have any life in him whatsoever. Everything he did was on automatic, mind where no one could touch it.  
  
In a way- and Ino cursed herself for thinking this –she was jealous. By all rights, she was his girlfriend, and just recently so. Yet all his thoughts were on someone else. Right now, to him, no one else mattered, no one else was there but Chouji and the memory that his friend's death was by his order.  
  
She wondered if he'd feel more- if not just as –lost if she had died. She hated herself for the thought.  
  
The ceremony ended and Ino pulled Shikamaru to the line to offer their prayers and condolences, but Shikamaru slipped from her grasp and walked away.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Ino was looking through one of the more ragged photo albums her parents kept, flipping through it and taking out a couple pictures she thought were really good. That held a good sense of their friendship. That showed them how they really were.  
  
She remembered, flipping back to when she was a tiny girl, their parents used to take them places. Hers. Shikamaru's. Chouji's. Their fathers were in the same team, after all. They were best friends, even after they each moved on. And sometimes- she traced the chubby cheeks of some two year-old boy –their fathers would take their children to see each other.  
  
Going through latter photos, she saw less and less of the two boys that would've been her teammates. That would've been the ones she would never doubt. When Shikamaru's mother left. And Chouji's older brother dropped out and his parents started arguing. And Ino's father retired. They all just faded away, then. And suddenly, years later, she had to know them all over again.  
  
She took that photo out and placed it in the small pile. Idly she wondered where she'd find frames for all of them.  
  
A hand dropped on her head. Looking up, she saw her father.  
  
"Yes, Papa?" She asked.  
  
"You have a guest."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Sakura-kun."  
  
Slowly, Ino blinked. "Sakura?"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The damn knocking again.... Sasuke scowled, deepening as he realized he was trying to hide under his covers. God, he had enough of this. Hiding and hurting and waiting and just wanting to be left alone. He didn't care anymore is someone wanted to give him power. He didn't even care if they were offering Itachi's head on a platter. He /just/ /wanted/ /to/ /be/ /ALONE/, dammit! The door knocked again.  
  
"WHAT?" He growled.  
  
The door opened and closed quietly and a slender girl strode next to his bed. Looking up at her, he recognized her as that Ino girl- the one that Sakura used to be friends with, the one that kept hanging off his neck. Sasuke scowled again. If she tried to touch him, he thought he might lose it.  
  
But her pale blue eyes were like stone. And he might as well have been looking into an ice cube because his own stubborn anger reflected icily back at him.  
  
Slowly, with careful precision and a steady voice, Ino said, "You made Sakura cry."  
  
He snorted. "And?"  
  
"You're a bastard."  
  
Sasuke's teeth clicked as his jaw twitched. This was going somewhere he couldn't foresee.  
  
"Don't you have any feelings whatsoever?"  
  
"....."  
  
Ino's chest tightened. "Someone's dead because of you. My friend and teammate is dead because you were so stupid and so selfish. The others are hurt and it's your fault. You made Sakura cry because she cares about you and she worried about you and she would've left to find you herself and you don't even care!"  
  
"I have other things to worry about."  
  
"No you don't!" She busted out. "You don't because you can't even bring yourself to care about anything! Nothing matters to you! People don't matter to you! Someone who isn't moved by the death of a kid on them, by the tears of a girl that really cares for them- if that can't effect you, nothing can!"  
  
Sasuke smirked darkly at her. "So what, then? Am I not human?"  
  
"You're an asshole. That's what you are."  
  
"Coming from the girl that would jump me any chance she got."  
  
"There are things I like about you. There will always be things I like about you. But after this, after all that and you still don't care," she glowered at him, "I can't respect you." Turning self-righteously on her heel, she pivoted back out into the door.  
  
Sasuke snorted and turned back to his sheets, hoping he wouldn't be bothered again.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"He's out."  
  
"Out? Out where?"  
  
His father shook his head. "Probably at the shrine again. He's been going there every chance he gets." Stirring the spoon in his tea, he gave a bitter smirk. "They always do, the first time."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
There was a knock at the door again. This time light, mannerly and more than a little cold. His dark eyes turned to watch as it opened. And closed. And the vase of flowers that was purposefully placed on the table by his bed.  
  
With the high-born dignity of princess in the presence of a beast, Ino sat primly in her seat, eyes cold as she addressed him. "Good morning, Sasuke- kun."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"I'm here because Sakura isn't."  
  
He sneered. "What a surprise."  
  
She abandoned her high horse and glared. "Don't think I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for her. Because she's afraid of you. She's afraid she'll cry in front of you again and that you'll think she's weak."  
  
"She /is/ weak."  
  
"She stood up for you and she protected you more times than I can count. And all you can do is just walk away and ignore everyone and everything she's done for you. You're the one that's weak. Can't even see what's in front of you."  
  
"A nitwit."  
  
The glare darkened. "We can do this with civilized small talk or I can make it rough on you."  
  
It was returned with easy skill. "And how can you make it 'rough' on me?"  
  
Ino grinned a sadistic little grin and crossed her legs, her entire face suddenly brightened, happy in her evil. "I had such a great dream last night and it really sucked because Mom just /had/ to wake me up because we can't trust Papa to cook. I swear, no matter what we teach him, he always forgets the moment he hears it. Actually, I think he does it on purpose so we don't make him cook, but we try to teach him anyway. But anyway, the dream was so cool because it had this new store downtown- I say it's new because we don't have it in real life, but in the dream it was there for a long time. It had this really pretty dress and a bunch of nice jewelry that I really liked-"  
  
As Ino kept rattling on, getting more animated and laying it thicker as she went, Sasuke bore it as stoically as he could, inwardly groaning and wanting to hide under his pillow.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was frightening how she could suddenly predict him like this, now. Not because she knew he wouldn't be doing anything, not because she knew he would just be lazing around, but because she had found him right where she knew she would. The marker with Chouji's name on it, back against the tall, etched stone and plucking idly at the grass. With a sigh, his head dropped to his chest, watching as he pulled apart a piece of grass, string by string.  
  
Hesitantly, Ino cleared her throat.  
  
"There you are!" She tried to keep her voice light. "I've been looking for you."  
  
"....."  
  
Her heart dropped at the lack of response. Having no other idea in her head, Ino went to the marker and knelt, praying for Chouji's soul's rest and placed a small wreath of dogwood and orange blossoms against the stone.  
  
It was then Shikamaru noticed the other bouquet held in her hands.  
  
Feeling his eyes on her, Ino looked at the boy, then at the flowers. A little self-conscious, she shifted them in the crook of her arm. "I'm taking them to the hospital. Do you want to come with me?"  
  
"....Who for?" He asked quietly, but somehow it still made Ino jump.  
  
"Sasuke-kun."  
  
Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "Sasuke."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He pushed himself to his feet, scowling at Ino. "Stay away from him."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It's not a good idea."  
  
"It's just Sasuke." Came the reply. Her hands were clenched, preparing to go into Boss mode at a moment's notice.  
  
"He's trouble."  
  
"You think everyone's trouble."  
  
"No. Everyone's trouble/some/. He's just trouble."  
  
Ino narrowed her eyes. "What sort of sense does that make?"  
  
He turned to her fully, expression frighteningly serious. "He's dangerous, Ino. By all rights, he's considered a traitor. If you go to him now, you'll just get yourself mixed up in all of this."  
  
Bringing herself to full height, she sneered in his face. "How can you say that? Sasuke is the greatest ninja of our generation! We don't know that he left willingly. He could've been kidnapped!"  
  
His flat, drilling look drained her thoughts.  
  
"No." Shikamaru said simply. "He wasn't."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"He doesn't like you, you know." She felt a bit silly saying that, but something made her feel like it /had/ to be said. She sat curled in the chair while Sasuke picked idly at his food.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"He doesn't like me talking to you."  
  
"Then why do you?" It sounded more like a demand.  
  
"Because. You're easier to talk to."  
  
That seemed absurd and Sasuke's lips curled at the end. It had a cruel look to it.  
  
"People don't normally say that."  
  
"I wouldn't, either." Ino brought her legs in close, resting her chin on her knees. "But right now, you are."  
  
Slowly, Sasuke turned to look at her. For the first time, Ino got a glimpse of that seal at the soft junction of his neck and shoulder. For the first time, she could see the cursed power struggling in its dormancy.  
  
"You shouldn't be here." Ino nodded in agreement, but she didn't move. "You should be with him."  
  
"I would, but...." she hugged her knees tighter, "Shikamaru scares me now. I don't know why, but he does, somehow. He has that tired, far away look in his eyes and all he does anymore is spend time with Chouji. He thinks it's his fault, but it's not. He wants to blame you, but he doesn't."  
  
"Because you like me." Maybe it could've been a question.  
  
"It can't be...." But she tried to curl up, all the same.  
  
"You shouldn't be here."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Why won't you come with me?"  
  
"Why should I?" The incense was lit, but still Shikamaru thumbed the lighter. He didn't seem conscious of doing it.  
  
Ino frowned at his back. "Then don't get upset that I see him."  
  
For the first time that day, Shikamaru looked at her over his shoulder. It almost seemed like a glare. "Why do you always have to see him?"  
  
"He needs someone, Shikamaru." She wanted to reach over and- because she felt comfort in contact -denied the urge to grab onto his hand. "He needs me."  
  
"Why you?" She could tell that he was getting annoyed by this. More annoyed than he should have been. Than she would've liked him to be. She understood, though.  
  
"Because everyone else is too afraid of him."  
  
The muscles in his jaw moved slightly. "I don't want you around him."  
  
"No one else wants to be around him either. So of course it has to be me." She forced herself not to look away. "Not even Sakura can bring herself to see him. It hurts her too much." Ino smiled sadly. "She always was too kind-hearted."  
  
Shikamaru just snorted.  
  
"Would you just knock it off!" She suddenly exploded. "Can't you understand that he needs someone to care, right now? Can't you even-"  
  
"You know what?" He got to his feet, arms crossed, eyes set and harsh. "It doesn't matter anymore. You want to be with him, then be with him."  
  
"Shikamaru-"  
  
"You chose your side," he tried to keep from snarling and failed utterly, "/fine/. I can deal with that. Never have you listened to me when it's something important. /Not/ /once/ do you /ever/ bother listening to someone else! /FINE/. Go see your precious Sasuke. Leave me the hell alone."  
  
Jamming clenched fists into his pockets, he shuffled right passed her. No pause, no goodbye. As if she didn't exist.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"It really hurt, watching him walk away like that. Back then, when I never noticed him before, I wonder if it hurt that much. Even when he liked me and I never said anything to him." Her voice was light, braiding the pliable, long-stemmed daisies together because she had nothing else to do. "I used to think I got used to it because you never noticed me, but then I thought, 'I made you acknowledge me, even if it was because you were annoyed with me, you still knew I was alive'. I never even gave Shikamaru that courtesy before. And yet," she gave the flowers an encouraging nudge, "he still cared about me.  
  
"It's sort of sad, in a way. I have everything a girl could want in a guy and I'm still going back to you. Even if I don't feel so strongly for you anymore." Sasuke still didn't turn to her, but she knew he was listening. Even if he wasn't, she probably would still tell him. "Ever since I discovered him- the feelings he brought out of me, the feelings he gave to me -my crush on you just.... stopped. I still care, of course, a part of me will always still care. But, in my mind, Shikamaru comes first. And you...." She smiled sadly. "You're there as a memory. A perfect memory of a perfect guy who I can't touch, who I'll know as nothing more than my first crush, the guy I'll always admire. Because I don't know how long it will be until you've left for good.  
  
"But Shikamaru's always there. And I know he'll always be there. It's that reassurance that makes me want to be with him. Except now. Now he won't look at me, just because I want to try to help you. Is that- Am I being foolish? Am I being selfish? Because I want you both to be happy?"  
  
For the first time in days, Sasuke turned to look at her, so many dark thoughts swimming in his weary eyes and Ino was afraid about what words would come out of his mouth.  
  
But he said, "No. There's nothing wrong with wanting people to be happy."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
An assistant let him in after he announced the boy's arrival. He barely gave him a nod of acknowledgement- given out of custom drilled in years ago –before he stepped into the Hokage's office.  
  
"Ah, Nara-kun." Tsunade motioned to the chair in front of her desk. "Have a seat." Her eyes darkened slightly. "Still not wearing your flak?"  
  
He flickered a look at her for a moment. "No."  
  
"You haven't been taking care of yourself, either." She commented idly, clinically listing what ailing health she readily saw.  
  
Shikamaru didn't even have the energy to half-ass a scowl. "What did you summon me for?" Then, he added belatedly, "Hokage-sama?"  
  
"Just to talk."  
  
He raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
"You know, I remember your dad, such a punk back then. Whenever he wasn't falling asleep and being a lazy ass, he was always causing trouble." She cupped a round cheek. "I wonder what happened to make you."  
  
"Is there a point to this?" He grumbled. "Or is it just idle chitchat?"  
  
"Why? Do you have more moping you want to get to?"  
  
His body went rigged.  
  
"Nara-kun, really." Her expression softened. "I know how it is. Losing someone important to you is hard. It never gets easier the more it happens. And you can't stop yourself from getting close to others. It's something you knew would happen. Death is something we as ninja walk with. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I'm sorry this happened on your first mission. Thinking you could have done or said something different, made a different decision and he'd still be here."  
  
"I know this." He said quietly. "I know people die. I knew if I made it far enough, I'd be making a decision where I'd lose someone. I know others made the same choice. But.... it wasn't even my decision, he chose it himself. I wouldn't have let him, but he wanted us to go." Shikamaru clenched his fists. "He's always so much stronger than I am."  
  
Tsunade watched him for a moment. Then she let out a soft sigh. "If that's so, then why are you running away from it?" Shikamaru jerked his head back to glare at her. Seeing she had his attention, she reached into a draw and brought out a foreign looking bottle, square bottomed and intricately carved. She took the stopper from the top and brought out two tumblers. "Care to join me? The Nara family always bred strong drinkers."  
  
She didn't wait for an answer, pouring a good inch of amber liquid into a glass and slid it across the desk to him. "What is it?" He asked, hooking a finger over the rim and bringing it closer.  
  
"Whiskey. Good stuff. Expensive as hell, so you better enjoy." She downed her own tumbler in one go. "Ah! That always put things in a better perspective!"  
  
Shikamaru gave her a dubious look, but slugged back his. He grimaced at the burn, putting the tumbler back on the desk. Before he could move back, Tsunade had grabbed his hand.  
  
"Nara-kun." She said softly. "I wasn't much older than you when I lost my first precious person. My little brother, so full of life, so happy." She smiled slightly. "He wanted to become the next Hokage. It hurt so much because he always said he wanted to protect the village and everyone in it- everyone important to him. I just wanted to protect him from the world." She ran a thumb over his knuckles. "The next important person I lost was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He got hurt during a mission and died in my hands. Died as I was trying to save him. His blood was all over me, I couldn't take it." Her eyes shimmered with the memories. "It hurt. Both times I wanted to die. I couldn't fight anymore. I'd freeze at the sight of blood."  
  
"Hokage-sama...."  
  
"But they did what was important to them. They did what they thought was right. Even if they gave their lives for it, it was something they believed in, something they thought was worth dying for." Her hands tightened around his fingers. "If that's the case, maybe I can think they died happy. And if your friend chose to die, then he thought that this mission was worth his life. It was worth it to make sure everyone else pulled through. With the thought that he was helping you, someone important to him, I'm sure he died happy."  
  
"....." His fingers curled in her hand, giving her fingertips a slight squeeze. Shikamaru's shoulders were trembling and Tsunade smiled slightly. Because it meant that he was still feeling, that he hadn't completely closed himself off.  
  
"Don't run away any more, Nara-kun. It took me years to finally realize how much I was hurting their memories because I wouldn't do anything, just letting my life pass by because I was too afraid. Because I was abandoning them. Don't make that mistake."  
  
"He knew." Shikamaru said quietly. "He knew I didn't want to be a chuunin. He knew I never wanted attention brought to me, that I didn't want people to depend on me like that. He was the only one that ever really understood me and I knew everything about him." His eyes began to sting, teeth gritting against the hitch in his voice. "It hurts so much, knowing that I don't have anyone with that same connection now."  
  
"What about your father?" She asked. "I've heard you have a girlfriend, don't you? What about her?"  
  
Shikamaru's hand tightened almost painfully against hers as he bowed his head, wanting only a moment of connection.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
There was a bare knock on his door, just enough to give warning that they were coming in. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, knowing it wasn't that annoying girl behind that knock. Were it Sakura again, hers would've been polite and hesitant and neither Kakashi nor Naruto would even bother, just bursting into the room like they owned it.  
  
The door eased open with a little push and- to his surprise –Shikamaru sauntered in, a half-echo of his old self. He knew the chuunin (chuunin? Shikamaru? Ha! He still couldn't believe it!) had changed because of the mission to recover him, but he hadn't expected Shikamaru to seem so.... empty. He could see the hollows in his eyes, though there was a sort of determination in them, trying to break through.  
  
Sasuke turned away, trying to keep the bemused look off his face. Ino didn't have to worry, he thought, he'll pull through without a problem. Not one she'd have to worry about, anyway.  
  
"I'm surprised to see you here." He said after a length. It was odd for him to start a conversation, but Shikamaru obviously wasn't going to begin it.  
  
He shrugged. "Well, I guess even the great Uchiha Sasuke isn't the type to get girls to visit in a hospital. Though it may just be because you make them cry when they do." He couldn't quite keep the sneer out of his voice.  
  
"Funny," came the low retort, "/your/ girl visits me."  
  
The thin smirk fell from his lips abruptly. Sasuke wondered in the silence the reason for this visit. To try to make him feel guilty? To make him feel like it was his responsibility that a genin was dead and another permanently injured?  
  
Softly, Shikamaru said, "She's not my girl."  
  
"Isn't she?"  
  
He looked away. "Not anymore."  
  
Sasuke couldn't help quirking up an eyebrow. "Oh? That was rather quick."  
  
The muscles in his jaw clenched. "I figured you'd already know, what with all the time she spends with you."  
  
"Feh." Shikamaru's eyes flickered up to Sasuke's dark grin. "You broke up with her because she hangs around me? I figured you were more open minded than that."  
  
He glared darkly. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I knew she liked me, you knew she liked me. And both of you knew I knew. And yet, somehow, you still decided to be a happy little couple, even with the worry in the back of your head because I was still around. You could've just let me go, you know. I'm sure everyone would understand, it being your first mission and all."  
  
"Are you going to say something or are you just going to yap?"  
  
"Ino got over me a long time ago, she's not the problem. You are because you're too insecure. You don't think you can measure up to her image of me." Sasuke snorted, ignoring the way Shikamaru's jaw worked, as if trying to convince himself not to charge at the other boy. Sasuke had to admit, he was surprised at how much even the mere subject of that girl was affecting Shikamaru. "I'd like to suggest that you hurry up and fix this thing up, though." He gave the chuunin a grin- nothing sinister, just a wiry humored grin. "But I suppose I deserve her yaking my ear off about you. I'm pretty sure you've had enough of her going on about me."  
  
Shikamaru's eye twitched. "What?"  
  
"That's all she does. She comes here and she talks about you. Annoying as hell. But she's doing what she thinks is right and then you give her an ultimatum. I don't like having to deal with other people's problems, but it seems to me like you're the bad guy, here."  
  
"She thinks you need someone."  
  
"She wants me to be happy. She wants you to be happy, too."  
  
Shikamaru's jaw clenched.  
  
"You don't care?"  
  
Quietly, the other boy said, "She made her choice."  
  
"And you're just going to throw her away, even though she cares about you?" Sasuke's smirk took a slightly more ironic shade. "I think you've just become the new asshole."  
  
"What?" His eye twitched.  
  
"Because you're not moved by the fact that you hurt someone that obviously cares about you a lot. That makes you an asshole."  
  
"Funny, coming from you."  
  
"That's why you're the new one."  
  
There was a pause. Then a sharp quirk of Shikamaru's lip. "That's got pissed Ino written all over it."  
  
"For good reason." Silence reigned again. Sasuke looked at the clock. "She comes by in half an hour. Stay or go, you're choice."  
  
He raised his dark eyes to the clock in thought. ".....I'd better leave." At Sasuke's raised eyebrow, he added, "I'll be back later."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It had been three days since Sasuke had begun acting odd. As if he knew something Ino didn't and wouldn't say anything no matter how she pressed. But, she thought with a sigh, that's Sasuke-kun for you. She shifted the fruit basket she brought. Her mother had finally told her to stop with the flowers or the girl would have to start paying for them. "There's only so many freebies we can give out, even to our own daughter."  
  
"Ah, Ino-san."  
  
The girl in question stopped. "Huh?"  
  
"You're here to visit Sasuke-san, aren't you? He's been moved. He's now in room 125, down that corridor." The nurse said, pointing down another wing.  
  
Ino blinked, confused. "Oh. Okay, thank you." She smiled brightly. But, as she walked towards the room, she wondered about the sudden change.  
  
Approaching the room, she reached toward the door, reading the name 'Uchiha Sasuke' on the wooden placard. Directly underneath it was the name of the other occupant: 'Hyuuga Neji'. Ino's eyes widened and she could make out sounds from inside the room. And it sounded like a scuffle.  
  
Without another thought, she slammed the door wide open, prepared for the worst.  
  
A ball beaned her in the head.  
  
"Oh, shit."  
  
A strangled sound managed to make its way through Ino's throat as she clutched her aching forehead, glaring bloody death at the perpetrator.  
  
Naruto's eyes were wide. "It was him." He jabbed a finger in Kiba's direction.  
  
"It was-"he withered under the girl's murderous look, "okay, maybe it was me....."  
  
Neji scowled at the two, wishing his bed was closer to them so he could smack them both. "We can't even trust you with something as simple as a ball."  
  
"It bounces. You should've known better than to trust idiots with something that bounces." Sasuke replied. He moved a shogi piece set up on the table between his and Neji's beds.  
  
That brought Ino back to the right frame of mind. In wide-eyed surprise, she looked around the room. Not only were Sasuke and Neji suddenly roommates, but Kiba and Naruto- who had been wrestling for dominance over the bouncy ball prior –were arguing in the corner until Lee prodded them with one of his crutches. And when that didn't work, he whacked them both over the head with it.  
  
"Wh...." Ino managed to ask, "What are you guys doing here?"  
  
"Just hanging out." Naruto grinned at her. "Hey, make sure we don't lose that thing, all right?"  
  
"Yeah, I want to give that to Akamaru for a get well gift."  
  
"Don't give it to that mutt!"  
  
"He's not a mutt, Dead Last."  
  
"WHAT WAS THAT!?"  
  
"Would you two /shut/ /UP/!" Neji and Sasuke glared at them simultaneously. Scowling, they turned back to their game. Ino shook her head and picked up the ball, noticing that the shogi board was taken out of Shikamaru's front room. The thought stuck in her head.  
  
"Is Shikamaru here?"  
  
"He's over there." Lee jerked a thumb toward the corner by the beds. Ino blinked, unable to see anyone.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"There."  
  
He pointed again and Ino craned her head to see. Indeed, she did see Shikamaru. Sprawled on the floor, asleep.  
  
She looked at the others, incredulous. "What is he doing on the floor?"  
  
"Sleeping."  
  
She glared at Kiba. "I can see that. /Why/ is he on the floor?"  
  
He shrugged. "There's only two beds and the chairs ain't that comfortable."  
  
"Besides," Lee said, "he said it was the only place where the ball didn't seem to go.  
  
"Oh? Were you two idiots throwing stuff at him?"  
  
"Not purposefully!" The two so called 'idiots' protested. "Er, well, not /entirely/ purposefully."  
  
One of Ino's fine eyebrows lifted. "So what would happen if he got hit again?"  
  
"Um, he'd probably get pissed and beat us. He said he had rough training yesterday."  
  
"Hn." Naruto, Kiba and Lee saw her blank look and worried, wondering what was going on in her head. She whammed the ball against the wall, nailing the sleeping boy square in the back.  
  
There was a momentary tensing of the shoulders-  
  
"Wouldya knock it OFF!!" Everyone dove for frantic cover, the ball careening through the room like a rocket. Shikamaru scrubbed his face, the epitome of calm in the storm of an out of control rubber missile.  
  
The room settled as the ball- beginning to tire –smacked into Kiba's ass and bounced to a standstill. Ino cautiously peered from around the corner of the bed.  
  
"Shikamaru, are you all right?"  
  
He looked at the wide-eyed girl from between his fingers. "....What are you doing here?"  
  
("God /damn/! My ass!" Kiba moaned)  
  
"I /was/ here to see Sasuke-kun, but the nurse told me his room moved."  
  
"Yeah, two days ago."  
  
(Naruto could barely breath, he was laughing so hard.)  
  
("Hey, shut up, man!")  
  
"Really?" Ino's brow furrowed. He seemed awfully.... not glacial-like for only two days. But, as she watched the two boys over their game, the determined set in their faces may have said something completely different. "But," she asked again, "are you okay?"  
  
("I said shut up!")  
  
He waved it off. "Just tired." And he winced. "And sore as hell."  
  
(Naruto finally calmed down enough to be able to see and noticed Kiba's eyes had flickered to the ball. His own eyes widened. "Oh no you don't.")  
  
"Training that tough?"  
  
"Actually, I think most of it is from those guys." He glared at the others just as Kiba and Naruto dove for the deadly bouncy ball. Naruto's hand wrapped around it first and Kiba was doing everything in his power to tear it away from him. In a desperate act of keep away, the blonde threw the ball against a table. It ricocheted into Sasuke's head.  
  
Eye twitching violently, the dark haired boy turned and GLARED.  
  
Knowing his life was suddenly about to end, Naruto attempted a misdirection. "He did it!"  
  
Kiba snarled at him. "Dude, that was all you."  
  
"NA-RU-TO......"  
  
"Sa-Sasuke, you're supposed to stay in bed. Sasuke..... Sasu-HELP!"  
  
"God damn...." Shikamaru pushed himself to his feet. "You guys couldn't be any noisier if you tried." He went to the door, turning Ino around. "Come on."  
  
"Ooooo, gonna spend some 'quality time' with your girl?" Kiba drawled between a sharp-toothed grin.  
  
"That just means I have a life." He scowled right back. "Instead of hanging around here with nothing better to do."  
  
The other boy thought about that for a minute. Then looked up at Lee and Neji, both looking as if they wanted to hurt Shikamaru for the comment, but knowing he was right. Kiba cursed. "Shut up." Half-hearted, he threw the ball at the chuunin, but the door slid closed before it came close. The ball bounced off and crashed into the shougi board.  
  
"Dammit, KIBA!"  
  
"Crap."  
  
On the other side of the door, Shikamaru's scowled deepened at the sound of scattering pieces. "They better not break my game." He grumbled.  
  
"Shikamaru."  
  
"Hm?" He turned to Ino. And promptly tried not to blush.  
  
She looked up at him, open admiration in her eyes. "Did you do this?"  
  
He shrugged vaguely. "Yeah, sort of."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"I guess even a guy like Sasuke deserves to be happy."  
  
"I-I thought you didn't like him."  
  
Shikamaru let out a huff. "He has no common sense and he's singularly obsessive. Can't say I like him much, no. But he /does/ need someone right now. He needs people to help him get through the pain." He lowered his eyes. "I've been happy- close as I can get, anyway –so many times in my life. Dad, Chouji, you, you've made my life worth living. Sasuke had that taken from him, he doesn't have anyone to live for, anymore. And the memory of his family, it's too tainted with hate and revenge for him to live on with. Even if he doesn't want anyone to get close, I figure someone's bound to. Might as well get him used to it." He suddenly shrugged, a bitter look on his face. "Do you know how hard it is keeping those guys from trying to kill each other? It's a pain in the ass."  
  
Ino laughed, wrapping Shikamaru into a tight hug. "I knew you'd understand. In your own way, I knew you cared." Clutching his jacket tightly, she stayed close to him, ear pressed against his chest, listening to the steady hammer of his heartbeat. A minute went by and Shikamaru shifted in her arms. One hand went up to her shoulder as he shifted to get a look at her thoughtful expression.  
  
"Hey, Ino?" He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, trying to get her attention.  
  
"Shikamaru." She said quietly. "Maybe we could ask the doctors if they could go on a picnic. You could get the boys set up, and me and the other girls could make a big lunch for all of us." Ino tilted her chin up to him. "And maybe we all could be happy for a little while."  
  
He merely smiled down at her, thumb light against her cheek. "Whatever you think is best."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
This /should/ be the last really dark, sort of depressing chapter in the rest of this series. It /should/ be, anyway, unless the other ones don't go as planned o.O;; But then, I have to be in the right mood to get /really/ dark (which i was for most of this, obviously), if not, I'll add little stupid things to lighten it up a bit^^;;  
  
As you can tell, the chapter title is somewhat misleading. It wasn't that Ino still had a crush on Sasuke, it's just that Shikamaru was being insecure and is vulnerable at the moment with Chouji's death. More of his insecurity will be shown later.  
  
/Yes/, I think Chouji died, I'm sorry. That entire thing with the butterfly just gave off that vibe. No, I don't think Neji died, not because I like him *ranks as one of her least favorite characters*. I foresee a very rough fight with Kiba and Akamaru, especially with Akamaru, even though they're my second favorites (the first is permanently reserve for Shikamaru^^), I'm betting cute little Akamaru will get severely hurt. I hope it doesn't happen, but I wouldn't be surprised. *hasn't been looking up narutocenter.net recently, bad girl^^;;* With the appearance of.... er, that guy that was on the hospital bed^^;; *doesn't remember his name*, I'm really doubting that they'd bring back Sasuke, but I got tired of waiting and said 'fuck it!' and am claiming that they did. If none of these things happen, then yes, yes this is an AU. So there XP  
  
Did I make Naruto too emotional? He's very passionate about life and hates people that are cold or takes it for granted, especially when the one who died is close to the one who's cold (i.e., Haku and Zabuza), so it doesn't seem too surprising to me that he would burst out like that. I hope I'm not wrong with that, but I'm sure I'm not too far off^^;; And, for those of you that didn't catch the reference, the person Shikamaru reminded him in 'that moment' was, indeed, Zabuza *loves ZabuHaku- more tragic than Romeo and Juliet* And.... Yes, Sasuke is a little OOC (maybe even a lot), but dammit! It had to get done and I'm infinitely sorry about that! You don't know how much I cursed myself typing down words that seemed OOC, even if it had to be said!  
  
But, anyway, their first and biggest crux in their relationship has been overcome. Now let's see what other sorts of fun we can have with them, ne? ^-^ 


	11. No Time to Breathe

Stumbling Blind 11. No Time to Breathe  
  
bgm- "I Will Not Take These Things for Granted", Toad the Wet Sprocket  
  
Deep night in Konoha is a time of movement. Subtle movement, movement normal people wouldn't see. Movement genin would rarely notice. Movement that was shadowed and perfected and neigh impossible to notice out of pure chance.  
  
It was a time of training.  
  
They spotted their target with little difficulty (as overlooking a building is not the sort of observational skills the academy promotes) and pressed for a decent vantage point.  
  
The trick of moving in the night is to not melt /into/ the shadow, it's to mold the shadow around you, cloak your movement. The darkness is a natural trickster, only a fool would ignore its latent illusionary talents. Move your body like a wave, never let yourself stay still. Even if the body doesn't move, roiling chakra around you gives the impression of blurring and movement. Shadow didn't contain hard curves or edges, the things inside it did.  
  
A ninja did not.  
  
Neither did a kunai until it was out of the dark's cloak.  
  
It thunked with just enough force to let the occupant of the room know that something was there. Something they were supposed to see.  
  
......  
  
Something they were supposed to read attached to something they were suppose to see if they got their lazy ass up, dammit!  
  
Another kunai hit within six inches of the first.  
  
Still the shuttered window refused to open.  
  
It got to the point where the ninja stepped onto the porch (mindful of any wayward traps) and opened the shutters, knocking on the glass pane. Then jimmied open the window because there was still no answer.  
  
"Oi!" The other two were approaching cautiously as the first hissed into the room. "Wake up! Dammit, we got training!" There was another pause and no movement. "I said wake up!" A hand grabbed the nearest, not immediately lethal object to throw.  
  
It bounced harmlessly off the pillow that somehow managed to get from beneath the sleeping nin's head to cover protectively over him.  
  
"If you're not a dream," Shikamaru grumbled from under said fluffy shield, "then go away. If you are a dream, you've got five seconds to turn into something worthwhile."  
  
"Che. We're no dream."  
  
"....I wouldn't be lucky enough for you guys to leave, either, would I?"  
  
"Not a chance."  
  
He groaned. Dammit, this sucked. "Okay, okay, I'm coming."  
  
They waited patiently.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get the hell out of bed!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
She knocked again, hoping- after five minutes of trying -that something different would happen. Like someone actually answering the door.  
  
It was passed noon and Shikamaru had /promised/ that he'd take some time off to have lunch with her (which she actually had to force out of him, but he gave his word regardless). Provided, of course, that he wasn't suddenly called away on another surprise mission.  
  
But he /must/ be here, Ino thought to herself. She made him promise after the.... Sound-Sasuke Incident that he would find her and tell her before each mission that he would return and, in case she was asleep, he would at least leave her a note.  
  
"Just promise you'll come back to me. That's all I want to hear." She told him. And today, no note, no promise and no boyfriend. Oh, he was definitely going to hear about this....  
  
She knocked once more, waiting for an answer she knew she wasn't going to get. Then she decided to take matters into her own hands.  
  
Circling to the back, she eyed the long porch that extended from under Shikamaru's bedroom window to his father's. It was an easy task getting up there and she peered into Shikamaru's dark room, still and untouched by the sunlight. Experimentally she tested the picture window, mildly surprised to find it unlocked. It stuck a couple times and she winced as she had to jiggle it, hoping no one /was/ home and thinking she was a thief (who generally don't last very long in a town full of ninja).  
  
By the third jam, she figured she had forced it open enough for her to slip through.  
  
His room, though rather bare, was still surprisingly messy. Books and scrolls on the desks, scattered on the floor, clothes draped wherever they fell. Ino was actually surprised that he had studying material and training equipment. Shikamaru didn't seem like the type to study. In fact, the only reason he didn't graduate at the bottom of the class was because- unlike Naruto -he could actually do jutsu.  
  
Picking through the room, she noticed something odd by the door. Approaching it, she realized it was a Konoha-styled flak jacket lying there. With Shikamaru still wearing it. Crawling closer, Ino held out a hand, deciding it best to wake him up and move him to his bed. She wasn't sure if she had even touched him before the boy jolted upright, putting as much distance between them as the door would allow.  
  
Eventually dawn opened in Shikamaru's dark eyes. "Ino! Jeez!" Tiredly, he scrubbed his face with his hands. "....what're you doing here?"  
  
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Good afternoon to you, too."  
  
"Afternoon....?" He peered at the clock and groaned. "Damn..."  
  
Taking his arm she helped him to his feet. "You look awful. What happened?"  
  
"They decided to get me for some night maneuvers. I didn't get back until 5 or so...." 'They' meant whatever jounin was available to train him at that particular moment. Being the only genin promoted and apparently having impressed Godaime meant he only got extra attention. He wanted to curl up and die right there and end it all if it didn't hurt so much.  
  
Then something hit him. "....we were going to eat together, weren't we?" Ino nodded. "Che...." Life was really sucking right now.  
  
"Don't worry about it."  
  
"....." He looked up at her. "....what?"  
  
"Don't worry about it." She said again, taking Shikamaru to his bed. "You look like you're about to fall over. Just get some rest."  
  
Wordlessly he allowed her to lead, not sure what to say and far too tired to think as Ino untangled old clothes from his bed sheets while he sluggishly discarded his flak. He scowled as Ino fluffed his pillow, doubly so as she tucked him in. With his masculinity wounded, he turned his back to her. And then he felt his bed depress. Looking over his shoulder, he found Ino sitting next to him.  
  
"What're you doing?" He grumbled. He tried to glare, but the bags under his eyes just made him appear even more tired.  
  
"I'm just making sure you go to sleep."  
  
"You don't have to watch me."  
  
"You don't have to watch me, either. But you do." Ino got a good look at Shikamaru's blush before he had the chance to turn away. She thought it was rather sweet, actually. And knowing he'd be embarassed if she ever found out, never made any indication that she was awake through most of his late night visits. Her father would go spastic if he ever found out, though. Even if it /was/ Shikamaru.  
  
Shikamaru, on the other hand, was trying very hard to forget what she said and to forget that she was there at all. That decided, he began regulating his breathing, filling his hara and feeling his chi circulating the seas and passing through the gates. He felt for the knots in his body, carefully untangling them string for string relaxing each fiber of muscle as he moved from his toes on up. On a normal night he'd reach his shoulders before he was able to sleep. This time he didn't even finish his calves before his mind decided he had enough.  
  
The tension was still in his expression, even when he fell asleep. Gently, Ino loosened his hair tie and combed the tangled strands across the pillow. Shikamaru frowned a bit and Ino's fingertips stilled against the back of his neck. He let out an exhausted sigh and his entire frame seemed to sink. It never really hit her how strained he was until that moment, watching as each faint crease slowly smoothed themselves out. All except for that perpetual line between his eyes.  
  
She sat over him for a long moment, enjoying the sense of security she somehow got from watching him sleep. He shifted again, a restless shadow passing over his face as he turned onto his back. Then rolled over onto Ino, an arm draped across her waist.  
  
A hand went up to her mouth to stifle a squeak, wide eyes focused on his expression almost fearfully. Something seemed to trouble his expression for a moment, but, as he settled more fully onto Ino, it was quickly dismissed.  
  
Fighting back the instinct to push him away, she wriggled slightly in his grasp, delicately repositioning his head against something not so embarrassing. Sure he'd have a killer neck ache when he woke up, but she figured it was the price he'd pay for using her as a body pillow.  
  
She didn't know how long time passed, she was too tangled in the thin strings of emotion that went through Shikamaru as he slept, the ones he wouldn't show to anyone at any other time. She watched as the muscles in his jaw clenched, how his regular annoyed pout grew more exasperated, even when something in his dreams made him chuckled against her side. It made Ino somehow feel more connected to him, seeing as he dreamed some distant memory that had him clutching onto her, burying the tears that dried against his lashes. She saw things as he slept no one else had ever seen before. And she treasured it.  
  
Just as she were starting to drift off herself, though, her attention was caught by a low moan rumbling through his chest. Craning her neck to peer down into Shikamaru's face, she noticed the deepened crease in his brow and faded flush across his cheeks. For a moment she was afraid that he may have gotten sick, but as he snuggled closer against her, she felt something nudge against her thigh. What....?  
  
As she realized what it was, Ino's own face began a slow burn. Here, she decided, is where I draw the line.  
  
The teenage body was, indeed, an unreliable thing.  
  
With all the care the world was willing to lend her, she drew her leg out from under his and gently lifted both his head and arm from around her, slipping out of his bed. From the way Shikamaru curled into the space she had previously occupied and the confused expression on his face, Ino didn't think he was much happy with that turn of events. He let out a huff, but did nothing else.  
  
She stood there and watched him for a moment longer and decided, oddly enough, that it was kind of cute. She shook her head. The guy has a wet dream holding on to her and she felt flatter. Something seemed wrong with that thought, but she couldn't help it. Pushing back a strand of hair from Shikamaru's face, she put her palm against his cheek, almost half expecting him to nuzzle it, or maybe even open his eyes in the confused state between sleep and awareness.  
  
But he did nothing and Ino's mind had to force her to leave and let him rest.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Even if it was a nice day with a cool breeze and a warm sun, she still would be pissed. And the fact that it was a horrible day with a heavy rain and oppressive heat that couldn't escape the pressure of the afternoon just made her more than pissed. It made her super pissed.  
  
And why, might one ask, was she super pissed?  
  
Well, obviously because of the terrible condition the day was in. And she was outside in it.  
  
And, most importantly, he was /late/, in every sense of the word because once she saw him, he was dead.  
  
Ino just crossed her arms and sighed impatiently, resisting the urge to tap her foot or fingers or something. Which lasted about a minute before some odd appendage of hers moved. Whatever tattoo got beat out signified just how pissed she was. This particular one almost seemed like a long, continuous sound.  
  
Oh, yeah. He was going to get it.  
  
Turning her head this way and that, she looked for a familiar silhouette. And when none came out of the mist and rain, she began to settle for /any/ silhouette.  
  
Looking at the clock Shikamaru was now twenty minutes late and she was beginning to think that this was another busted date- third one in two weeks. Just a few more minutes, she told herself, and then I'm gone.  
  
Of course, being the hopeless romantic she was, Ino wound up standing there for another fifteen minutes. By that time the storeowner had given her a cup of tea while she waited. He shook his head, wondering how kids nowadays could go around, leaving each other like that during such terrible weather.  
  
The empty cup sat next to her for a while before she decided to return it. As she came back from the counter, the door rang open and someone dripped irritably on the floor. Thoroughly soaked, Shikamaru grimaced at her as water dripped down for his nose. The shoulders of his flak jacket was eight shades darker than the rest.  
  
"Ino-"  
  
"You're late." She said haughtily, desperately ignoring the presence of the flak.  
  
"I know. Ino-"  
  
"You're damn late." She was glaring at him now. "Do you know how long I was waiting out there for you? Where were you? By now we've missed the show and I'm starving and you don't even have an-"  
  
"Ino." He said forcefully. If she kept going, he'd never get a word in until she ran out of things to rant about. And from her expression that wouldn't have happened for a long, long time. "I can't go out with you today."  
  
Her anger stumbled to a crash. ".....What?"  
  
With a huff, he rubbed the back of his neck, wiping the rain that gathered there. "I spent the last hour getting briefed for a mission. I'll be gone for a couple days."  
  
Ino's face crumpled. "But.... You just got back from a mission the other day! We had this day all planned out!"  
  
"I know."  
  
"I've been waiting for this day all week....!"  
  
His shoulders hunched a bit, feeling guilty though he knew he shouldn't be. "I know, I know. I'm trying but things keep coming up."  
  
Biting her lip, Ino put a hand to her forehead. After a few deep breathes, she felt in control enough to say, "I feel like you're leaving me behind. I never get to see you and we never get to be together. It's just..... It's hard, okay?"  
  
"I know."  
  
"It hurt when my dad was always gone, but it hurts more now....." She trailed off, wondering if this was how her mother used to feel. "Because I don't have anyone to keep me company."  
  
He had a slightly calculating look. "You know, maybe you should stop being so competitive." Ino looked up at him, clearly not following. "It's because you want to be the best kunoichi, you don't think you can be friends with any of the other girls. Not to mention most of them are scared of you, anyway."  
  
The girl raised an eyebrow at him. "You're telling /me/ to make friends?"  
  
Her response was a shrug. "Why not? It would take your mind off me for a bit, hanging out with other people. Besides, without Sasuke in the picture, you really have no reason to be rivals with Sakura anymore, do you?"  
  
It can't be said that Ino would ignore a perfectly valid argument. If she strongly believed in something different, she would merely justify her way by 'gut instinct', but she would always hear the other side out (unless it was something she didn't want to hear in which she'd just go back to 'gut instinct').  
  
So, she heard him and mulled it over.  
  
"I.... suppose it wouldn't hurt to talk to her a bit." She agreed slowly. "I mean, it's been so long, I don't really know how to be friends with her anymore."  
  
He just shrugged. "Just give it a try, I suppose."  
  
Ino nodded, but she still had that distressed look in her eyes. "Even if I do get all the friends in the world, it still won't keep me from worrying."  
  
"I know."  
  
"And I'll still miss you know."  
  
He couldn't help the bit of color that got up in his cheeks. "I know."  
  
"And I'll still be pissed every time they take you away from me."  
  
Shikamaru put a hand to his head. "Ino....."  
  
Waving her hand, she effectively cut him off. "No, don't worry about me. I'll just stay here, cold, alone and unloved while my boyfriend goes out, risking his life." She said as she pushed him towards the door.  
  
"Ino....." there was more of a growl in his voice that time.  
  
"Just come back." Her eyes were serious and more than a little sad. "That's all I want from you."  
  
For a moment her just looked at her. Then, grabbing her hand, he tightened his hand slightly. "Just wait for me." Was all he said and all she could do in return was give him a tiny smile.  
  
After he had a gone safe distance, Ino sank to the floor, wishing so many things in her head. The shopkeeper just brought her to a chair and gave her another cup of tea.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"AGAIN?" She nearly shrieked. And very nearly tore out her hair. "Why /again/?"  
  
"Ino, come on." Shifting, Shikamaru cast an uneasy glance around. "You're making a scene."  
  
"This is the fifth date- the /fifth/," she poked him in the chest, "we've had to break off! Why do they keep pulling you for things like this? Why are you always gone?"  
  
"Look, it's not like I-"  
  
"We've only gone out on /maybe/ two dates! I've only seen you a couple times this week! Can't you get a break or something?"  
  
He scrubbed his face with a hand. "It's not my choice, all right?" He huffed. "If it was, I-"  
  
Ino mirrored his move, if not just to try and gain some semblance of control. "I know, I know. I know it's not your fault, I know you're not doing this on purpose. I know if it was your choice, you'd never do any missions, but....."  
  
"It's all right, Ino."  
  
"Why do they always need you? When can I actually get to spend time with you?"  
  
He looked away, unable to answer. She was taking this one harder than the rest. But, he supposed, he should've seen it coming- in fact, he really wasn't surprised at the outburst at all. All the other times seemed like she was gradually building up to an explosion.  
  
"You can ask for some time off, can't you? They don't need you /all/ the time!"  
  
Rolling his eyes, Shikamaru said, "You talk as if I have a choice in this. When they give me a mission, the only thing I can say is, 'I accept'."  
  
"Screw that! Tell them you need a break!"  
  
"Ino, listen to yourself and tell me if you think they'll actually listen to that."  
  
Her face seemed to crumple. "....I just want to spend some time with you."  
  
Ouch. He felt that go straight through him. "Ino..... I didn't mean," he ran a hand along his neck nervously. "You know how it is. If I could, I would-"  
  
"I know!" Clicking her teeth shut, Ino covered her face with a hand again, other arm around her waist. Great, he thought bitterly, now she's closing herself off to me. "I know I shouldn't be mad at you and I know it's not your fault and I know neither of us can do anything about it but make the best of it."  
  
"Ino." He reached out to her.  
  
"But I hate it!" There was an edge in her voice that didn't want to be contained. "I hate that I can't see you and I hate that I have to worry about you all the time! I hate that we don't have any control about this! I hated it when they kept taking Papa away and now I have to go through it again with you! I hate it! I can't stand it!"  
  
Sharply he grabbed her arm, trying to get a point of focus across to her. She glared up at him through gleaming eyes, as if he were her source of hate. "Look, there are some things we can't control. Those things we just have to accept, okay? I know you don't like it. I don't like it, either. There's hundreds of people that don't but none of us can do anything about it."  
  
Control was slowly creeping over the wild tinge in her eyes and Ino tried hard to keep her lip from trembling. "I'm afraid, okay? I keep thinking that- because you're so far ahead of me, now –you'll be too far for me to see. I'm afraid that you'll be so far that I'll lose sight of you, that you'll get tired of waiting for me and you'll just leave me behind. I'm scared that every time you leave, I'll never see you again."  
  
Narrowing his eyes, Shikamaru replied- voice thick and deep, "I promised you I would return. I promised you that I would come back no matter what." His eyes were burning and boring a hole through her misdirected anger. "I don't just make any promise. And I will never break them, no matter what it takes." His grip loosened on Ino's arms once he saw that she had regained her sense. "I promised I'd come back to you." He said quietly, not wanting to let her go. "And that always seemed enough to keep you waiting for me." Lightly a thumb skimmed over the ball of her shoulder. "And the thought that you were waiting for me was always enough to make me come back to you."  
  
Hands folded on themselves tightly she looked at her feet. "......Just go."  
  
Shikamaru's eyes flickered wider in surprise. "What?"  
  
"Go."  
  
"But, Ino-"  
  
"You have a mission to do, right?" She tried to force a smile on her face. "So, get it done. I'll still be here when you get back. We'll do something then."  
  
With a dubious look, he half turned for the door. "All right..... I'll get back as soon as I can." She just nodded, eyes closed, unable to watch as he walked away. As Shikamaru turned the corner, Ino tried to stave off a sob with a hand against her lips. Trembling, she hurried back to the flower shop.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Her mother looked up at the chime of the door, prepared to great another customer. She was more than a little surprised to see her daughter with a forlorn look on her face come into the shop.  
  
Concerned, she did what any good mother would do and immediately rushed to the girl's side. "Ino, honey? What's the matter? I thought you were going out with Shikamaru-kun tonight."  
  
She shrugged vaguely. "We were, but....." The girl reached behind the counter to get an apron. "It's okay, Mom. I can work tonight's shift."  
  
With a concerned, knowing look, her mother brought Ino in close. "Oh, Ino..... I know it's tough, I've been there before."  
  
Unable to hold back a sniffle, she asked, "Why are they always taking him?"  
  
"It seems like it, I know, but they don't /mean/ to. They're not taking him on /purpose/." She hugged the young girl. "We've lost a lot of people and they're struggling to keep all the clients happy. Even if we did have more ninja available, it would still feel like you never get to see him. Especially if he has a specialty that they need." She squeezed Ino's shoulder. "It was always hard whenever they called your father away. I always got angry at it too."  
  
Trying to show some humor, Ino's lips pulled in a failed smile. "So that's where I get it from."  
  
"Sweetheart, don't get upset with Shikamaru-kun because of this. I know you don't mean to, but you still have to be careful."  
  
She looked at her mom curiously. "What did you do whenever dad left?"  
  
"Oh, I threw a fit. There were so many times we almost broke up because I'd get so mad." She smiled sadly. "And, I'm afraid, you've got both your father's will and my bad temper."  
  
"You're not /that/ bad."  
  
"I mellowed out after I had you." She poked Ino gently in the side. "Having a child of your own does a lot for your patience, it's amazing."  
  
She let out a tiny huff through something resembling a tentative smile. "But, how did you get through it?"  
  
Running her hand through Ino's hair, her mother said, "At first it was a lot of temper tantrums. Then a lot of crying to my mother and my best friends. It never really got easier. In fact, a lot times it seemed to get harder the more in love with your father I got. I wanted to keep him close, I didn't want to think about him getting hurt." She sighed. "There were several times we almost broke up because I'd just get so angry. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't help yelling at him about it. It hurt us both. Because he knew his missions hurt me, and because I knew my anger was hurting him. But we couldn't stop. A ninja can't turn down a mission and I couldn't help but to get upset."  
  
Sadly, Ino buried her against her mom's shoulder, and the pain echoed hollowly inside.  
  
Her mother knew what that meant. "You got upset at Shikamaru-kun about that, didn't you?"  
  
"I didn't mean to yell at him. I know it's not his fault, but....."  
  
She sighed. "You're so your mother's daughter."  
  
"I don't know what to do......"  
  
"Ino, honey. You know it's going to hurt me to say this, and I'd hate to tell you this, but..... The only thing you can do is wait for him. Support him when he leaves, wait for him until he returns and love him while he's here. That's the only thing you can do for him."  
  
"But, what if he leaves me?"  
  
"If he leaves you, then it just means that he wasn't worth keeping."  
  
"Mom," she tried to blink back the tears, "I don't want him to leave me."  
  
"Then you just have to trust him." She rubbed Ino's back gently. "Shikamaru-kun is a good boy. He'll do what he knows it right, what's right for him and for you. Don't give up on him too easily, he has a way of surprising people."  
  
"Un."  
  
"If he's the one," she said with a slightly faraway hint in her voice, "then we won't have to worry about you. He'll take good care of you, so long as you take care of him."  
  
The two stood there for long minutes at a time, holding each other tightly and drowning in memories and fears and worries. With a final squeeze, Ino pulled back.  
  
"Mom, I'm going to go out for a walk, okay?" She sniffled slightly. "I just need some time."  
  
"Take all the time you need, sweetheart. He'll wait for you." Ino smiled at her mother once more before she walked out the store once again.  
  
Her mother stood behind the counter, lost in thought and worry. Yet she didn't jump at the touch of arms around her waist, fully aware in an instant of who it was. With a sigh, she leaned into Inoshi's chest, wrapping herself in his warmth.  
  
"After we close shop tonight," she said quietly, content in his arms, "do you want to go out and eat tonight? Just the two of us?"  
  
For a moment there was a pause and then she felt a shrug. "Sure, all right." Cheek resting against her head he asked, "Any particular reason?"  
  
Smiling slightly, she said, "Because you're here."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was a lot later than she had meant it to be by the time she started heading home. By then, the shop would've closed up for almost an hour now. That meant she had to go around to the back. It was a good thing she didn't have to work that day, she thought. After what had happened, she didn't think she could deal with the customers. Especially the ones that had the tendency of getting into other people's business. Especially 'young, adorable couples' like herself and Shikamaru.  
  
Idly she wondered what he'd say if he heard people talking about him like that.  
  
Ino shook her head free of that thought, unable to stop that depressed weight from settling on her chest again. All that time trying to think things out didn't seem to help much at all.....  
  
Things just weren't going the way they were supposed to. She had a boyfriend she wanted to spend time with. He /seemed/ like he wanted to spend a little time with her, too, but they weren't getting the chance to. They still hadn't shared their first kiss yet- hell, they never even got more than a handful of hugs in there! Not one cuddling session!  
  
The thought was starting to get her worked up again and she barely noticed as she passed her parents.  
  
"Ah, Ino!"  
  
"Eh?" She came to an abrupt stop, looking at her parents in surprise. "Where are you guys going?"  
  
They just smiled at her as if they knew something she didn't.  
  
"Don't be so harsh, ne, Ino?"  
  
"It's been a long day for everyone, princess."  
  
"We'll be back later, sweetheart. Don't stay up too late, now." They waved at her, continuing their walk wrapped in each other's arms. She watched them with more than a little envy.  
  
That depressing picture in mind, Ino continued her shuffle home, digging her key out of her pocket as she rounded the corner to the back door.  
  
She stopped when she heard a slight snoring coming from the doorway.  
  
Under the light of the step was Shikamaru, arms wrapped around his knees and back pressed against the door. The blanket from their living room, Ino noticed, was draped across his back and he was drooling slightly on one arm.  
  
She didn't know if she should laugh or shake her head. Either way, she couldn't help but be touched. He really was a considerate guy. Even if he didn't like expending effort, and seemed gruff, he'd do anything for the people he cared about.  
  
Ino decided that that was why she liked him more than anyone else, even her father. She knew her dad could never chose between her or her mother (just as she'd never be able to chose between Shikamaru and her father), but she knew that it was always her mom that was at the forefront of his mind. Just like she was in Shikamaru's. And Shikamaru in hers.  
  
She sat on the step next to the sleeping boy, leaning her head against his shoulder as she looked up at the night sky through the stair lighting.  
  
Casting him a sideways glance, Ino smiled. "I'll wait," she told him softly, "if you will."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
You know, for the longest time I was actually debating on taking that 'wet dream' mentioning out. I wonder if I've burned anyone virgin eyes with it *wide, evil grin*  
  
Filling the hara (a point just below the navel) with chi is an ancient meditation technique. You draw your breath into the hara and feel the chi circulate through the body. The seas that are also mentioned are the four seas named in the Nei Ching: Sea of Blood, Sea of Energy, Sea of Marrow and Sea of Nourishment. The gates, also from the Nei Ching, are the Gate of Jade, Gate of Wind and Gate of Mortality. I may be abundant with useless knowledge, but it makes me look smart when I actually use it^____________^  
  
Someone had commented that, in the last chapter, Sakura still probably would've gone to see Sasuke, anyway. That I wouldn't doubt, really. But, I have two reasons on why she didn't. The first and most prominent one is because she would get in the way of the progress of the chapter and story. That chapter was to deal with Sasuke and thoughts and insecurities therein attached. To have her there would keep them from coming to terms with aforementioned problems be counterproductive in the growth of Ino and Shikamaru's relationship.  
  
The second reason is because- in my mind –Sakura would be in a very emotional position at that point. Someone she knows is dead, one permanently injured and people talking badly about the guy she had the biggest crush on. With people discussing Sasuke as a traitor and grouping him with Orochimaru, it would obviously bring out hard emotions for her. Whenever Sasuke yelled at her (before he left Konoha) she always took a submissive position. When he talked to her before he left, she was also very docile despite wanting to leave with him. It shows that she's very sensitive to the words he tells her. So, depending on what he'd tell her and the worries about other people and the disastrous return of the retrieval party, I actually wouldn't find it farfetched that she would be too afraid to see him. If not just for a little while. I wouldn't doubt that she would eventually go to see him again, but probably after she regains some sort of courage.  
  
Enough with that. Now for something completely different.  
  
Blargh. I had duty today (wednesday) without being told until this morning, so I pretty much finished this chapter in one day because I had nothing better to do^^;; One thing I don't like about duty is that I have this piece of artwork I've been trying to do for over a year because it's large, I barely get time to work on it and it's done all in crosshatching. I like it (so far) and I'm getting a lot of encouragement on it. The only problem is, when I work on it during duty (or have it out because i was working on it) people are always stopping by and looking at it. And complimenting me on how great it is.  
  
I don't take compliments well. I mean, I like a good ego stroke now and then, but sometimes it gets too much for me. I guess I'm modest? I don't really know^^;; 


	12. Another First Time

Stumbling Blind 12. Another First Time  
  
bgm- "Hand in Hand", 98 Degrees with Lashanda Reese  
  
He liked looking at her, she had come to find. He never actually said anything, but from the corner of her eyes, she would catch him watching her, looking at her. Ino learned to read those looks quickly. When she found a color that looked particularly good on her, he tended to pull back a bit, watching how the color brought out her eyes or compliment her pale skin. When she had an outfit that he loved to see her in- not too eye- catching, but enough to tell you that yes, indeed, she's got something worth looking at -his eyes would be warmer and he'd stand closer to her. Shikamaru rarely touched her, in or out of the public view, but his presence was enough to warn away any would-be suitors.  
  
But there was always a hesitant look in his gaze whenever she looked close enough. As if he were wary of something- Ino wouldn't think he was 'afraid' because she didn't know what he could be afraid of. But being wary.... she could understand that with this being their first relationship. They knew how it was suppose to go, but neither really knew how to go about doing it.  
  
Whenever he was there, Ino loved the attention she got from Shikamaru. Even when he wasn't looking or talking to her, somehow it seemed that everything he thought of was centered on her. Somehow it seemed his focus on her was tangible and warm. She had never felt so belonged to in her life and- while Ino liked to think of herself as no one else's but her own and a competent individual -she loved the feeling of someone wanting her for himself.  
  
Maybe it was just his way of showing affection that allowed her to want to be Shikamaru's alone. The way he dropped little hints about her, about himself. Or the rare times when he's show unabashed feeling to her.  
  
Lounging on a hill once, Ino sat next to Shikamaru as he dozed lightly in the sun. She had reached up to let her hair down and when she replaced a hand in the grass, she was surprised to feel Shikamaru holding onto it gently. Blinking, she looked down at the boy, blushing slightly at his gaze- far more forward than his normal, subtle stares. Ino noticed that his eyes were following the movement of wind through her hair and she couldn't help a little, nervous giggle.  
  
"What?" She said playfully. "Do you prefer my hair short?"  
  
"When you had it long," he admitted, "it looked good up. Now that it's short, it looks good when it's down." He took his hand away from Ino's, twirling a finger around a satin-soft strand, knuckle a bare pressure against her cheek. "I can't decide which one you look better with."  
  
It wasn't often Shikamaru said things like that and every time he did, it always made Ino blush. And every time he said something like that, he always had that same strange look in his eyes. A sort of hooded look, drawing, compelling, something he wanted her to realize.  
  
It didn't take long for her to realize what exactly it was, either.  
  
And it was then that Ino realized that she was really, embarrassingly enough, /shy/. Whenever Shikamaru looked at her like that, it made her limbs go weak and her insides twist up in a way she couldn't tell if it was pleasant or frightening. And, in a way, she was afraid of what would happen if she followed through. And every time a moment like that passed with nothing changed between them, a part of Ino felt unbearably disappointed, like her heart would twist until she cried.  
  
In a way, she was sort of glad that he got called away a lot, it meant that she had time to think. Obviously he wanted to up their relationship a bit, but he wouldn't force her into it. Not that he had to because she certainly wanted to go up that next level, but she couldn't help but feel hesitant about it. For them to make that step.... it was a big step for kids that young.  
  
So what was there for a young girl to do?  
  
Except for talking to her friends about it.  
  
Sakura's brow creased. "I'm surprised. You really seem the affectionate type....."  
  
"Yeah, well," Ino tried to keep the indignation out of her voice, "even the affectionate type have their shy moments."  
  
Through prodding from both Shikamaru and her parents, Ino made that last effort to mend the rift between her and Sakura. Even though they still treaded lightly around each other, Ino had found that they really hadn't not been friends the entire time. They still ribbed on each other- teasing, playing, insulting –but Ino realized that though Sakura wasn't the mousy little brat, once they got into the groove of it again, she was just as easy to laugh around as before.  
  
"I mean, I would've thought you would've had /one/ kiss by now!"  
  
And just as annoying.  
  
"I mean, at /least/ /ONE/."  
  
Maybe even more so.  
  
"Look, are you going to be helpful or what?"  
  
Sakura shrugged. "What am I supposed to do? You know what you have to do, you know you're shy about it, how am I supposed to help? Give you directions?"  
  
"I don't know!" Ino scrubbed her face in her hands. "I'd at least think you'd be /some/ help!"  
  
"Ino, really." The other girl said with a little smile. "All I can do to help you is let you vent. But you have to make that step yourself. You know that."  
  
"But......" She bit her lip. It was embarrassing that it was embarrassing.  
  
"Try talking to him about it. Shikamaru's a good guy, after all. Even if he doesn't act like it, he's always listening. Of course, you should know that better than anyone."  
  
The blonde rolled her eyes. "And what exactly am I supposed to talk to him about, o omnipotent one?"  
  
"Well.....kissing, obviously."  
  
She couldn't help but to color a bit. "First kisses are supposed to be special, you know that! I can't just go up to him and tell him I want a kiss!"  
  
"Yeah, but," Sakura spread her hands helplessly, "sometimes guys are clueless. Especially when they try to gentlemen."  
  
Ino blinked. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Because they don't want to 'force' you into anything, so they don't press. Even something like a kiss they won't do anything until you show them that you're ready."  
  
She crossed her arms and scowled. "Shikamaru's not a gentleman. He's just lazy."  
  
"Well, talking to him certainly can't hurt."  
  
Ino looked over at the other two girls in a vague sort of surprise. Somehow (she still couldn't really understand how) making friends with Sakura again somehow roped her into making friends with Ten Ten and Hinata. Ino decided that she shouldn't be too concerned with why it happened like that so long as no one got on each other's nerves.  
  
"There's somethings you can't talk to a boy about."  
  
"Those 'somethings' usually don't include a relationship with the guy." Ten Ten replied.  
  
"You could at least try." The white eyed girl said. It was probably the second thing Hinata had said since the three of them went to see Ino asides from 'hello'.  
  
The blonde frowned and irritably snipped the excess leaves from a daffodil. The other three knew that meant she really didn't want to pursue this line of conversation much further. Exchanging glances, they decided that she needed to get out of here.  
  
"I know what'll make you feel better!" Ten Ten slapped her on the back. "We can go down to the creamery on the corner and get some ice cream then spend the rest of the day shopping!"  
  
Sometimes, for all the bluntness and tomboy attitude she possessed, it was hard to remember the Ten Ten loved going clothes shopping.  
  
Ino frowned. "How's that supposed to make me feel better? Spending all my allowance?"  
  
"It'll keep you busy, get your mind off of everything. Sure, it's good that you're seriously considering this, but sometimes worrying too much does just as much good as not worrying at all. Besides," she gave Ino a sly grin, "you may find a new outfit he'll really like."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "He doesn't really care about clothes or how I look. He's not into flashy girls."  
  
"But that doesn't mean that he wouldn't want you to look extra good every once in a while."  
  
The blonde shook her head. "Look, don't worry about me, okay? I have things to do around here, anyway. You go have fun spending money."  
  
The other three girls' expressions seemed to deflate.  
  
"Aw, but Ino~!"  
  
"I'm just not in the mood for it, all right?" Her stern expression turned into a repentant smile. "I don't want to bring the rest of you down with me, that's all."  
  
Sakura sighed, knowing there was no changing Ino's mind once she got set. "Fine, if that's how it is." Hinata was already backing away into the door, bidding her farewell.  
  
Ten Ten put her hands on her hips. "Don't think we won't get you out sometime, Ino."  
  
But she just forced on a cheery smile. "Bai-bai! Don't worry about me and fun, okay?" She knew they wouldn't buy her expression, but she just wanted them out. After the door shut and the girls were well out of sight, Ino sighed and slouched.  
  
Somehow, it felt as if she were running the same narrow circle.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The next day was much the same. The three girls would come by to the shop and talk to Ino. They'd tease her a bit, but then they'd turn right around and try to encourage her. Really, all it did was annoy her because- /yes/, Ino had found that she was actually more than a little shy, but she didn't need pep talks every day! She just needed some time to gather her courage, that's all. If word got around that there was something she couldn't handle, Ino didn't think she'd be able to face anyone.  
  
Again they tried to get Ino to go out with them, this time it was to go the one of the gardens among the Hyuuga sprawl for a little sunbathing and girl talking. And, again, Ino turned them down.  
  
But this time it was because "Shikamaru has some free time this evening, so we're going to go out," Ino told them. Which she quickly regretted when she was suddenly bombarded with questions, suggestions and more than her fair share of encouragement.  
  
By the time Ino finally chased them away, she was ready to tear something apart. "ARGH! I'm not some clueless little girl! I know what I have to do!"  
  
The problem was if she was going to actually do it.  
  
So, as she waited around for Shikamaru to pick her up for their date, she thought, playing scenarios out in her head. But, dammit, everything she dreamed, she couldn't get Shikamaru to act like Shikamaru! He wasn't a gentleman! He wasn't a romantic. He got annoyed by things, he didn't like expending effort, he was a lazy bastard!  
  
If this was going to happen, Ino realized, she'd have to be the one to do it. Even though he wanted to go to the next level, as well, he definitely wouldn't make the first move.  
  
This was killing her......  
  
By the time Shikamaru had gotten to the shop to pick her up, Ino was in a horrible mood and he cursed at himself. He couldn't back out now because he gave his word they'd spend time together. So now, because he'd feel unbearably guilty if he didn't, he was sufficiently stuck with a pissed off Ino. This was going to suck.  
  
This, he knew, was going to be a problem. Whenever Ino got in a bad mood, Shikamaru's instinct was to just back off until she got over it. However, now that he was her boyfriend (he still wasn't completely sure what all the implications of that meant) it meant that if he started getting withdrawn around her, she'd get even angrier and he'd have to be the one to deal with it.  
  
Hiding a scowl and a groan, he reached a hand out of her, holding open the door. Ino just ignored him and stormed out. That caused Shikamaru to blink. Seeing Ino angry was pretty much a usual thing, but the look on her face was something rare. She was thinking about something, so much that all her focus was on it, and whatever she was thinking about was making her upset.  
  
Lengthening his strides he quickly caught up with the blonde and put a hand on her shoulder. His other arm went up to block an instinctive strike.  
  
"Oi, Ino." The frown on his face turned to a bland sort of worry. "Calm down."  
  
Some of the anger seeped out from behind her eyes and she mumbled a little 'sorry'.  
  
"What're you thinking about?"  
  
Slightly surprisingly enough, she blushed. Shikamaru felt a tinge of warmth crawling across his cheeks in response. He loved the way Ino blushed, it didn't make her appear as untouchable as she wanted and it made her face glow. But he couldn't tell her that. Despite how mature she liked to appear, there were still so many things Shikamaru thought she wasn't ready for, yet.  
  
They were silent on their walk, shoulder to shoulder. Ino wrapped up in her thoughts that focused on him and Shikamaru in his that focused on her. The streets were crowded during the hours before evening and Shikamaru took Ino by the elbow, taking her down a vacant alley. A shortcut through a normally busy street.  
  
With no one else around and the thought still weighing heavily on her mind, Ino opened her mouth and popped out a question that made her want to curl up and die in mortification:  
  
"Why haven't you kissed me, yet?"  
  
The boy rocked to a halt, not turning towards her as he asked, "What?"  
  
"Kiss. Why haven't you?"  
  
"You want me to kiss you." He stated blandly.  
  
"Well yeah. After all," she said to his back, "it's what couples do."  
  
For a long moment, Shikamaru said nothing. Nor did he move. Then, suddenly, one of his arms shot behind him, a thin sound against the wall by Ino's shoulder. He turned slowly towards her, face right in front of hers. "Ino." He drawled slowly, breath warm against her burning cheeks. "Does it mean that much to you?"  
  
With the expression of an indignant child, Ino glared at him. "Yes! You're my boyfriend, after all and I still haven't gotten my first kiss yet! It's supposed to be something special, and I want to share it with the person most important to me."  
  
Shikamaru moved closer to her and Ino pressed her body back against the wall. It was then she noticed Shikamaru seemed to have gotten taller, another inch or so separating them. "So it's that important?"  
  
His presence was overwhelming. Ino couldn't look even look at him because all her will was focused on keeping her wobbling knees from collapsing. She never felt so embarrassed and anxious in her life. And she was more than shocked to realize that actually felt a little fearful, as well.  
  
Then, just as suddenly, Shikamaru backed away, continuing their walk down the street. "C'mon," he said, a hand rubbing his neck, "I'm getting hungry."  
  
Ino's eyes were wide, surprised at his sudden change. "Wha-What was-"  
  
"Your first kiss is important to you, right?" He looked at her over his shoulder. "You want it to be special, you want it to really mean something." The corner of his lips quirked a bit. "I won't take it until we're both a little more prepared for it."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
When the girls came by the next day, Ino's mom practically threw the girl out of the shop. But, she figured, that was fine because she was actually considering going out with them anyway, if not just to keep them from bugging her.  
  
Idly she wondered if this was why Shikamaru went along with a lot of her dumber ideas.  
  
The four of them were walking down the street, planning on getting some lunch before they hit some of the stores. Sakura and Ten Ten were ahead, talking and laughing. Ino wondered when the two of them had become friends. They seemed somewhat at home with each other. But, she thought, the only way one could not like Sakura was through conscious effort and Ten Ten was a very open, friendly type of girl. She supposed it didn't much matter when because both were so easy to get along with.  
  
Beside her, Hinata fidgeted. She seemed to be shy (might as well say afraid) just by walking next to Ino and the latter couldn't help but wonder how that could happen.  
  
"Ino, can I tell you something?"  
  
Really, she didn't think anyone could be this old and still so self- conscious.  
  
"Sure, what is it?"  
  
Hinata, after all, was like an older version of the little timid mouse that turned into Sakura.  
  
"It's just something Kiba-kun told me."  
  
Except Hinata didn't have the confidence to even take that first step like Sakura had. Maybe, Ino thought, it was because Sakura had Ino. Hinata, maybe, didn't have anyone.  
  
Instead of being so jealous and competitive with all the other girls, Ino wondered would would've happened if she had made friends with all of them so many years ago. Or what would've happened if she had made friends with Hinata instead of Sakura.  
  
"He told me that everything will stay the same until you change them." She blushed and looked down. "It-It's not very good advice, I know. I think it's supposed to be encouragement, even though I didn't think so at the time." Shyly she looked up at Ino with her colorless eyes. "But Kurenai- sensei said it's a good way to think for some people. Even though she says Kiba-kun has a hard time with words because they do things he doesn't."  
  
"Really?" Ino raised an eyebrow. "I think it's more like he doesn't do what the words say."  
  
Surprised, Hinata said, "Kurenai-sensei said that, too."  
  
Giggling, she patted Hinata's shoulder. "Kiba's a nice guy, isn't he?"  
  
"He is. He's a little rough at times, but he always tries to be kind to me."  
  
She pulled the dark haired girl in for a quick hug. "Then none of us has a thing to worry about, do we?" Ino said with a grin.  
  
"Wh-What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Nothing! Nothing!" She danced ahead. "C'mon! Sakura and Ten Ten will leave us behind!"  
  
'Everything will stay the same until you change them', huh? That was good advice, actually. A warm day will always suck to train in unless you force yourself to ignore it. You'll never improve your abilities unless you force yourself through the barrier.  
  
And she'll always be embarrassed of this situation until she hurls herself into somewhere she's never been before.  
  
Shikamaru already broke through, waiting on the other side for her to follow. He knew telling Ino his feelings would be bothersome, that it would be annoying and embarrassing. It always would be, no matter the situation, no matter how long he waited. And he knew this, he knew it wouldn't change until he broke through.  
  
And he was still waiting for her on the other side.  
  
I don't want to keep looking at someone's back, Ino thought. I don't want to be the one people wait for. I want to strive ahead, I want to reach our bravely and grasp what's in front of me, even if I don't know what it is. I always told myself that because I want to be the greatest kunoichi. But even the little things I'm too afraid to force myself passed, because I can't see the other side.  
  
Ino looked over at Sakura. Then at Ten Ten and Hinata. And seeing how they laughed and talked, she wondered how things would've been different. She blinked as they said something to her, then grinned, bumping Ten Ten slightly as she teased right back.  
  
The four walked down to the market, arms linked and spirits high. And behind them laid Ino's broken world of 'ifs'.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The week passed by and it felt more fulfilled than they had been for months. Though Sakura had once again taken her place as Ino's best friend, she still enjoyed her time with the other two girls. She had a nice, friendly with Ten Ten going on and between the three of them and her team, Hinata was slowly being pushed out of her tiny shell. Things felt like they were actually changing, and Ino with them.  
  
It took the entire week for Shikamaru to finally get a day to spend with her and she sat across from him on the patio of some casual restaurant. She still felt shy and uncomfortable at the thought of having to press the 'kissing issue' herself, but she forced herself to make this night the night. Even if she had to take it herself, she was determined to have their first kiss.  
  
As the night grew older, her courage wanted to falter, but Ino resolutely told it to stand the hell by and told the butterflies in her stomach to take a hike. A good portion of them did what they were told, but the rest still fluttered about, just to spite her. If Shikamaru noticed her fidgeting (which he did, but knew better than to press Ino before she was ready), he didn't say anything.  
  
Instead, just as their drinks and soups came out, Shikamaru's dark eyes flickered up and Ino felt the presence of three people behind her. From the look on Shikamaru's face, they weren't going to be people she liked.  
  
Turning in her seat, she found herself looking into the lower pocket of a chuunin vest. An unsympathetic but wary face looked right down at her. Though each upper level ninja was used to having to tear others from personal matters for a mission, word got around quickly that the Nara's kid's girlfriend had a very, very bad temper about it. The chuunin in question forced on a neutral face as he saw Ino getting some scathing remarks prepared.  
  
Instead, a huff from the other side of the table got their attention. "What is it this time?" Shikamaru asked. They way his fingers drummed on the table indicated he was getting beyond his threshold annoyance level.  
  
The older chuunin straightened a bit more. "Hokage-sama wants you to lead another mission. There's some suspicious movement going between the borders of the Leaf and Stone villages. We're to meet up with Stone team and do a co-op investigation."  
  
From between his fingers Shikamaru groaned. It was probably just another team of bandits being dumb again.  
  
As he was pushing himself to his feet, Ino panicked, shooting up right. If he left now, she wouldn't be able to go through with her plan! And if that happened, she didn't know when she'd get enough courage to pull through with it again! She had to stall them, she had to make them go away! Argh! Why did Hokage-sama like her boyfriend so much, dammit! There's gotta be other intelligent guys she could've gotten for this mission!  
  
Ino whirled on the chuunin, indignation in her eyes. "That's not fair!" She felt like she was a child again, begging the ninja not to take her father away. "Can't you get someone else? We've barely-"  
  
"Oi, Ino." She turned her head at the sound of Shikamaru's voice. And felt a hand against her chin, thumb gentle on her closed lips. And Shikamaru's lips brushing against the edge of her own.  
  
Pulling back he gave her a small smile. "I'll give you a real one when I get back." He said with a little wave, making his way to the other chuunin.  
  
Stunned, Ino fell heavily into her seat, a deep blush crawling it's way up her cheeks.  
  
"Kyaa! He's so smooth! I never thought I'd be jealous of a girlfriend of /Shikamaru's/!"  
  
Ino sat up straight, turning to the voice. She covered her face in embarrassment. "What are /you/ guys doing here?"  
  
Ten Ten grinned at her. "You said this was where you wanted your next date to be."  
  
"We had to see how you were getting along!" Sakura added. "After all, not just anyone's good enough for a kunoichi." Between the two, Hinata blushed and giggled, not wanting to admit that they were there to look for something to gossip about.  
  
Ino tried to hide behind her hands, but she couldn't help the giddy laughter from bubbling out. She couldn't even mock scowl as the other girls crowded around, teasing her, her heart felt so light.  
  
Shikamaru may not be a gentleman and he may not be a romantic, but he certainly had a way of surprising people.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
Somehow this chapter reminds me of Kare Kano. I'm not entirely sure why, but it does o.O;; I've also come to notice that the fist half (first two thirds?) of this story revolves more around what Shikamaru is thinking while the rest of it centers more on Ino. Kinda funny, huh? Not really.  
  
Er..... Shikamaru's pretty smooth, isn't he? Something no one expects from a lazy bum like him, ne? XDD  
  
Anyway, I have come to realize (after someone had mentioned it) that chapter 11 really didn't have much of a point to it. Rereading it, I see that they are correct and I apologize for it. Therefore I shall make a public announcement that you should /not/ try to make a very fulfilling and meaningful chapter while under sleep deprivation and posting it up while still slightly sleep deprived and not checking it over. It seems pretty rushed to me, as well, so I decided that I would make it a chapter that has just as much meaning as any of the others.  
  
Therefore! Chapter 11 has been extended! Now with point! And exclamation points following the announcement! Hopefully now you'll be a little more fulfilled. There really /is/ a point to that chapter as with all the other chapters. Really. :P Also, changed the formatting of some of the more recent files (realized the format changed somehow after chapter 6) and also some changes had been made to chapter 2, 3 and 7. Nothing really major, just some small things to either make more sense or to follow a little better with the series. So basically, it's just an announcement for people that have to be up-to-date^^  
  
Anyway, I'm reiterating here that I'm going off the manga seeing as I've barely seen any of the anime. So, you see all the little changes that've been made in the anime? *crumples it into a giant wad and drop kicks it out a third story window and into a toxic waste dump* Wooohooo! Three points!  
  
Despite the little time she's had, I really like Ten Ten. She reminds me a lot of Ino, but I somehow feel that she's more of a tomboy. In fact, for some reason, I get this distinct feeling that Ten Ten's got at least two or more older brothers. In my mind, she's got a lot guts and a very bold personality. From her fight with Temari and some page spread of the team, I'd say that she's a weapons expert, and is very confidant in her abilities. I'd also say that she probably would use taijutsu more than the other jutsu- not just because of her skills in weapons, but also because Neji and Lee are very proficient in it as well as Gai. And what's smarter than putting good taijutsu-ists under the care of a taijutsu expert?  
  
The only thing I can really say about Hinata is that she's cute. And I really love KibaHina. Asides from that, she kinda annoys me^^;; I mean, I'd have to say I like her better than Sakura, but I don't really like the homey, mousy type. But, she's cute and she does have spirit when she has the proper confidence booster. I think it was just the fight between her and Neji that made me respect her, mainly because she doesn't see a lot of action after that. I just can't do that damn shy type! Get some confidence so it's easier for me to write!   
  
And, just because I'm wondering what other people have to say, am I the only one that's getting really annoyed with how Naruto is turning out? I mean, those sorts of fights are cool, but they start getting old after a while, especially when all the good guys all have to do some sort of move that will most likely kill them in order to win. Though I will admit, I was vastly amused at the last couple pages of chapter 209. Unfortunately, after the amusement died down a bit (the thought still makes me snicker), all I can do is go, 'right...... just what the /(explicit)/??'  
  
I won't say what it is, because I don't want to spoil everyone. Yes, I'm a bitch. I'm even worse in real life *cackles* 


	13. Maximum Tokage

Stumbling Blind 13. Maximum Tokage  
  
bgm- "Worried Eyes", Eagle Eye Cherry  
  
Perhaps it was odd that, despite being involved with a very motivated, very driven and very /stubborn/ girl, Shikamaru still managed to do the things he loved best. And, perhaps amazingly enough, Ino was almost always at his side and actually enjoying it. The thing they spent the most time together doing was, of course, cloud watching.  
  
Ino liked clouds. Maybe not spending hours at a time looking up at them, but she liked them. Especially the big, fluffy-type clouds. But, she had to admit, sometimes it was nice to just lay back and watch them go by. Or maybe it was just because of who she was watching them with.  
  
For a while now, Ino's mind was revolving vaguely around a certain subject, one she wasn't actively thinking about. But her mind had decided upon something- she wasn't entirely sure what it was -and she rolled onto her side. Shikamaru's eyes flickered at her, but he said nothing. He didn't say anything as she just looked at him. Even when she pushed herself up by her elbows and gave him a peck on the lips, he still didn't say anything. For that matter, neither did Ino as she rolled on her back again, looking up at the darkening sky.  
  
On the way back to her house, they didn't say anything. It was surprising for Ino, all the silence that was in their relationship. But somehow it was a comfort to her. Because they didn't have to talk to know they liked being with each other, that they wanted to be together. And somehow it just made their words all the more precious to her.  
  
Standing outside her front door, Ino turned to Shikamaru and said: "That wasn't a kiss of a girlfriend. That was a kiss thanking you for making me happy." She leaned forward, giving him another light kiss on the lips. "And that was because I want to make you happy."  
  
She felt his lips on hers, words gentle in her ears. "That was because you already do."  
  
These days recently she started to think about Shikamaru more. Being away from him even during the nights she missed him dearly. There would be times that she'd just lay in bed and think of him. She remembered his shoulders, looking broader under his flak jacket, the muscles in his arms getting thicker as the weeks went, his torso tighter. He still frowned an awful lot, but she liked to think a part of him was smiling when he was around her.  
  
It was always the little things about him Ino missed most. The crinkle by his eyes when he chuckled at something under his breath, how the lines on his face smoothed out when he watched the clouds, even the way he'd scowl at something stupid, cupping his chin with a palm. He always looked cool when she really thought about it. Sure, he didn't turn heads like Sasuke did, but when you really looked at him, Ino decided, Shikamaru was hot in his own way.  
  
His own 'not-making-an-attempt-because-I-don't-care-about-looking-good' way.  
  
She thought about making him take better care of his appearance, but she figured it wouldn't make much of a difference. He'd resist until he got tired of it, sure, but he'd just let all her effort go to waste the minute she turned her back. Even if he did do it to humor her, he'd hate it and the last thing Ino wanted to do was needlessly get on Shikamaru's nerves. Well, in a not teasing sort of way. Besides, he was fine with his looks and she was at least satisfied that he didn't look grungy. She supposed he could get away with it.  
  
That is until she could afford to put more focus upon that issue. Instead, Ino's world just seemed to get a slight more heavy.  
  
She looked at her instructor as if something was sinking fast inside of her. Actually it felt more like the bottom of her stomach went into a pitfall.  
  
"A new team?" She didn't succeed in keeping the whining note off the edge of her voice.  
  
Asuma didn't seem to enjoy the news too much either, puffing away harshly at the end of his cigarette. "Yup. After all, you can't do the chuunin testing unless you're in a team of three."  
  
"Who'll be my new teammates?"  
  
"Don't know, yet. You have to wait until the next class graduates."  
  
Ino mouth dropped open. "But....!" She couldn't think of anything to follow.  
  
"I know, I know. They're too green. They probably won't follow your orders. They'll probably give you a hard time." He sighed. "Trust me, I know the apprehension you're getting far too well."  
  
Looking down Ino pouted. "They won't be anything like Shikamaru and Chouji." She said quietly.  
  
His ears perked at the sad tone in her voice. Gauging the expression on her face, Asuma gave a small, sad smile and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Ino-kun." He said affectionately. "I know the two of them mean a lot to you. And I know it feels wrong having to be in a team without them, but you have to. You'll never become a chuunin unless you do this."  
  
"Maybe I won't be a chuunin, then."  
  
"You know you don't mean that."  
  
She clenched her hands, knowing that he was right. Ino was ambitious. That drive was bred into her family's blood. For her to settle for a genin, no matter the reason, caused every cell in her veins to riot.  
  
After a moment she looked up at Asuma. "Will you still be my instructor?"  
  
The question caught him off guard and the man pulled back a little, trying to think of a good response. He must've hesitated too long because that lost look on Ino's face increased.  
  
"Maa, Ino." He tried to laugh but his voice came out a little strained. "Don't be like that. I don't know if I will be, but I'll see what I can do."  
  
"I don't see why you can't be. They chose the groups with students that can compliment each other's abilities, don't they? So the groups will be balanced and one ability doesn't overpower another. And they choose instructors that would best fit the groups' personalities, isn't the right? So they can bring out the genins' potential?"  
  
Surprised, Asuma took another drag. "Been thinking about this a lot?"  
  
Ino shook her head. "It's something I remember Shikamaru telling me before. The creation of each group is extensively thought out. So wouldn't it make sense if you were still my instructor?"  
  
He shrugged, smile on his lips. "It would, yes. But sometimes admin has a very warped sense of logic." He took another puff and tapped out his cigarette, pocketing the butt before Ino could glare at him for littering up the shop. Even if they were sitting in the room behind the counter, she'd still burn his ears off if she caught him leaving any of his 'cancer sticks' around. He was lucky enough he could even smoke in there.  
  
"By they way," he said conversationally, "how is Shikamaru?" He grinned discreetly when the girl blushed.  
  
"He's doing fine."  
  
"Good, good. Not having trouble keeping up with the workload, is he?"  
  
"At first the only thing he'd do when he got back from a mission or training is sleep. But he seems to be getting used to it now, he's not so exhausted anymore."  
  
"Ah, good." He thumped a finger against his lips, just for something to do. "Haven't gone all the way with him yet, have you?"  
  
"A-ASUMA-SENSEI!" She shrieked, nearly sending the chair out from underneath her.  
  
"Have you?"  
  
"N-No! Of course not! We're only 12!"  
  
"Oh, there's a lot of kids out there that think they're old enough to do anything. Even if you're really mature, there's some things that you really should just wait for."  
  
Ino crossed her arms, face still unbearably red. "If I didn't know any better, Asuma-sensei, I'd call you a closet pervert."  
  
"You mean I'm not?" He asked innocently before pumping a fist. "Yes! Another oblivious one!"  
  
The young girl shook her head, giggling. That's why she liked Asuma- sensei. He was like an older brother or the immature uncle everyone liked. He would always do something that made her and the boys feel relaxed. If any of them ever had a problem, Asuma had a way of making them forget about it.  
  
Which, of course, brought herself to the main reason she had wanted to talk to her instructor.  
  
"Ne, Asuma-sensei."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Have you ever been in love?"  
  
She was having this conversation with him? Asuma was surprised. With a grin, he leaned back. "Now, Ino-kun. I know we've been through a lot together, but there are rules against teachers dating their students...."  
  
Ino glared at him. "That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."  
  
He waved her anger off with a dismissive smile. "I know, I know." He tapped a finger against his leg. "You think you're in love with Shikamaru, huh?"  
  
The girl blushed and looked away. "I'd talk to my parents about it, but Mom would probably make a big deal out of it. And Papa would either be ecstatic or hunt Shikamaru down."  
  
"Still Daddy's Princess, I see."  
  
"Besides," she growled, "I think they've been together for so long, they've probably forgotten the difference between like and love."  
  
"And you think because I'm single I know the difference?" He sniffled dramatically. "Just strike down a man, just because he's unloved."  
  
"Asuma-sensei....."  
  
"Okay, okay. I'm being serious, here." The man cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "What do you want to know?"  
  
"How can you tell when you love someone? When it's more than just liking them?"  
  
He steepled his fingers, his mannerism making Ino lean forward in curiosity. "Well, first off, what do you think love is?"  
  
She blinked, apparently not expecting a question to her question- though she wasn't entirely certain what she was expecting.  
  
"I guess..... something special. Where you feel strongly about someone and you don't think you could live without them. Someone you want to spend your entire life with, all your secrets and fears and favorites. Someone that understands you and makes you feel like you're the only thing that matters. Love is something you'd never give up."  
  
Asuma nodded. "If that's the case, why did you ask me what love is when I don't have anyone?" Ino blinked, obviously not understanding. "You just said that if you love someone you'd never part with them. If that's so, how could a single guy have been in love."  
  
She shifted slightly. "Well, it could've.... Not worked....."  
  
"Then that wouldn't have been love, would it?"  
  
"/You/ could've been in love."  
  
"But you also said that they feel the same way about you."  
  
Ino frowned. "How is this answering my question?"  
  
Shaking his head, Asuma leaned back in his chair. "The truth is, Ino, no one really knows what love is. You could ask your parents, you could ask your friends, you could ask anyone and most likely you'll get different versions of the same answer. Love's intangible, you can't describe it, you just feel it."  
  
"But then, how do I know?"  
  
"Let's try it like this. Do you care about Shikamaru?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Would you do anything to make him happy?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you think he'd be happy if you told him you loved him?"  
  
She hesitated.  
  
"Come on, Ino."  
  
Shyly, she looked up at the man. "I don't know....?"  
  
"Just think about, Ino. Don't be afraid."  
  
Pulling at her lip with her teeth, she thought. "I-I guess he would....."  
  
"Would you be happy if he were?"  
  
"Yeah....."  
  
"If you said that to him, do you think you'd be lying?"  
  
She seemed confused at first, then her eyes grew wide as she realized. She quickly shrank back a bit.  
  
"I-I can't, though."  
  
"Eh?" Asuma blinked. "Why not?"  
  
"Because..... What if he doesn't feel the same way?"  
  
"Why wouldn't he?"  
  
"I don't know!" She exploded. "He's Shikamaru! I don't know why he does things!"  
  
"What things?"  
  
The question rocked her mind to a halt. "Huh?"  
  
"What things does he do that you can't understand?"  
  
"Well.....!" She wordlessly threw a hand around, emphasizing what she couldn't name. Asuma- not fluent in random pantomiming –waited. ".......Things!"  
  
"Ah, I understand now." He nodded.  
  
"You're being sarcastic."  
  
"With an answer like that, I'd have to be." But he smiled all the same. "Do you really think you don't understand him?"  
  
With a groan Ino sank into her seat. "It's not that I don't understand him, it's just...... Sometimes I don't know what goes on in his head. I don't know what he's thinking and sometimes I'm afraid that I'll do something that he'll hate me for."  
  
"Bah. He can't hate you. After everything you've done to him, nothing short of you saying you never want to see him again can tear him away from you. And even then, he'll probably just stalk you."  
  
"Asuma-sensei!" Ino had to physically keep herself from kicking him. "Don't say those sorts of things!"  
  
"Right, sorry." He toned down his grin. "But Ino, you don't have to go through these sorts of lengths. If you're afraid that he might not love you back or that it won't last, just say so."  
  
It always amazed him that Ino's face could go that pale that quickly. "How- How did you-"  
  
If he said she was easy to figure out, chances are she'd get mad at him. So, instead, Asuma said, "That's what everyone worries about, don't they? That the person they care most about either won't love them or will eventually stop loving them."  
  
"Then what do you suggest I....." She trailed off as Asuma started rooting through his pockets. "You're not going to smoke /again/ are you?"  
  
"Not necessarily, no." Ino lifted a thin eyebrow when he produced an untouched cigarette. "Just proving a point."  
  
She looked at her instructor flatly. He had this weird habit about somehow relating every obstacle the team across with a smoking reference. "You need help. Seriously. This goes way beyond addiction."  
  
"C'mon, now. Just here me out." He held the cigarette upright between them. "Now, let's say that this is life. Everyone gets one and when they're born, this end here," he tapped said end, "it lights up. What do you get when it burns from here to here?" He tapped the opposite end.  
  
Ino looked at him as if he were crazy. "No more cigarette."  
  
"Exactly. Now you have a choice between the time you the cigarette starts burn to the moment it stops. That is to take a drag, correct?"  
  
".....Yeah."  
  
"You can chose to not smoke at all and waste a cigarette, or you can puff the entire thing away. Or you can just indulge in a smoke every once in a while. Now," he pocketed the slender cig in his pocket again, "I think it's a waste to just let a cigarette burn out like that, don't you?"  
  
"......" Ino frowned. "Are talking about smoking or living here?"  
  
Asuma sighed. He liked Ino, really, but sometimes she had a habit of taking things too literally. "Life, Ino. The way I see it, there are two things I think everyone should experience at least once in their life: happiness and love. Both can be fleeting, both can be hard to come by. If you ever have a chance with one of them, go for it. Don't worry about what might happen, all that matters is that moment." The girl still looked unconvinced. "Go ahead and ask someone that's tried for it. Ask you're parents if they're happy they took that risk. Ask Shikamaru's dad if he regrets the time he spent with someone he loved. Even if you get hurt in the end, the fact that you even had that time with someone that makes your life full, it makes you that much a better person no matter what may come of it."  
  
She fidgeted slightly, but Asuma could see confidence coming back to her slowly. "So..... you really think he cares about me?"  
  
He laughed. "You're the only one he'd go through all this trouble for."  
  
"A-And if he doesn't? If he hurts me?"  
  
"I don't think I'll have a chance at him once your dad found out."  
  
"Asuma-sensei....." to his surprise, the girl crossed the table and hugged him tightly. "Thank you!"  
  
"Aw, it's not problem." He put a large arm around her, patting her head in a fatherly gesture. You know, times likes this always reminded him why he liked teaching so much. After a few seconds his eyes caught the clock. "Hm, I gotta get going. I'm supposed to be meeting someone in ten minutes."  
  
"Oh, okay." Ino pulled away, following the man to the store. "Thanks again for all your help."  
  
"Oh, it's no problem." Asuma smiled warmly. "You guys were one of my favorite teams. It's my pleasure to help you guys out."  
  
Ino giggled. She waved him off. "Say hi to Kurenai-sensei for me!"  
  
His step faltered. "Geez, why do people keep saying that? We're not going out!"  
  
"Of course you're not." Ino humored him with a grin. "By the way, a light red carnation would go really well with her complexion and bring out her eyes."  
  
"Er...." He hesitated, torn between taking her advice and trying to deny her accusations.  
  
"On the house." She supplied helpfully.  
  
With a scowl he glared at the girl. "All right, I'll take it. But only because it's free and not because I'm going out with her." Asuma said sternly.  
  
"I understand completely." She watched as her instructor picked up the flower, blushing and fidgeting all the way out the door. "Have fun!" She sang to his back as he walked out the door.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
  
Well, I'm afraid I have to say it. The next chapter will be the last one. This is the penultimate chapter. Stumbling Blind is coming to an end. I know some of you will be upset, but I'm actually happy because this is my first multi-chapter (and I mean /multi/ /multi-chapter) fic that I have actually finished. I may do more half-side stories for Stumbling Blind like High, Clear Summer Sky (though they won't all be written in the same style), but that'll only be when I feel like doing it.  
  
I'm lazy, yes, yes, I know. Why do you think Shikamaru's my favorite Naruto character :P  
  
I'm a big AsumaKurenai fan. I keep getting this idea that they're trying to hide their relationship- not because they're embarrassed, but because they don't want people making a big deal out of it. Of course, I also have this idea that everyone knows that they're going out no matter how much they try to deny it^_________________^  
  
I've come to realize that my version of Ino is different from a lot of other people's. Not saying that theirs is vastly out of character, or that mine is completely out, either (at least, I hope not o.O;;). Mine just seems to have a better understanding of Shikamaru, I think, or rather, they have a better understand of each other. Maybe because I have mine communicating better^^;; Though I do think that mine could be a little bossier, but I may just chalk that up to the fact that they're still starting out as a couple and still unsteady in their relationship. Once they settle in, I wouldn't be surprised if Ino utterly owns his ass. But then, I wouldn't be too surprised if she didn't either because my version seems to know that that's not the kind of woman Shikamaru wants. Someone that'll push him and point him in the right direction, yes, but not someone that'll run his entire life for him.  
  
Or maybe I'm just giving Shikamaru more backbone^^;;  
  
By the way, because someone asked, the reason why I put /these/ marks around some words is for emphasis. I know some people use bold or underlined text to the little asterix *uses them for actions instead* I've also tended to use them for other things like the occasional thought (though not much anymore) or something like a telephone call or something similar, but 9 out of 10 times, it's for emphasis.  
  
Anyway, I'm going away for a loooooooooooooooong during May, so I'm going to try and get the last chapter up before I leave. That's my main goal or else you won't be getting it until after a month or more and I'm sure you'd all hate me vastly should that happen. 


	14. Big Cajonese

Stumbling Blind 14. Big Cajonese  
  
bgm- "One Good Reason", Maia Sharp  
  
For the passed two weeks, Shikamaru had suddenly developed a habit of humming under his breath. Not that he had a bad voice, but it was an odd thing to start doing. And after two weeks of listening to him humming the same song and getting it stuck in her own head, Ino got annoyed.  
  
"Where exactly," she said, rolling onto her side, "did you pick that song up from?"  
  
He blinked, looking up from the book he was flipping through. Shikamaru had promised to help Ino brush up on her knowledge, going through her texts and coming up with a study guide for her. Ino was actually surprised at the lack of coercing she had to do to get him to agree to do it. "Oh. Tezuka's always humming it whenever he's dealing out cards." The boy scowled back into the book. "I swear he's doing something. Every time he deals I always get a crap hand."  
  
Ino really didn't know what to say about that. In fact, she didn't know what to say about the situation in general. She knew Shikamaru wasn't much for large gatherings in small areas but he somehow managed to get dragged to a bar- the local hangout spot for the chuunin and jounin –by someone after a fairly easy mission.  
  
It was because he was the youngest guy there, Ino thought, as well as not very sociable that no one talked to him. They didn't really give him a hard time, but no one really went out of their way to make him welcome, either. The next youngest person aside from him was well into their teens already. But, under the prodding of his last team, he grudgingly joined in the gambling rings and the adults made a show of making him a spot.  
  
Card games, he found out rather quickly, were not like board games. They may need strategy, but not like a game of shogi or go. That night, he was the guy everyone went to to get a quick buck off of. And he was flabbergasted that he was doing so /terribly/! He just couldn't understand how he was /losing/ so much!  
  
That might have been the first time in his life Shikamaru ever felt his pride being wounded. Determination set, he continued to go to that bar every night that week, hell bent on seeing through their tricks. After a month, he was no longer someone they could all just bowl over, neither was he someone to look out for. He was just one of the guys you had to keep an eye /on/, coming up with his own tricks to win if he felt his situation was that desperate.  
  
And while Ino was glad her boy was making friends (and money), she wasn't too sure she was happy with the amount of exposure to gambling and drinking and whatever other bad habits the upper ninjas were displaying. But Shikamaru told her not to worry. Even Asuma and her father said it was okay. Even if there lots of guys over there that always lost their money the night after payday, or spent it on alcohol or women or whatever, they didn't pressure anyone else to join them. Besides- if not just to make her feel better –they let their friends know not to let Shikamaru do something stupid.  
  
So she could forgive the fact that Shikamaru was at the bar. He had already assured her the only times he went now was when he returned to the village late at night and was still too awake to sleep. Smiling that bossy- sweet smile only she could do, Ino slid up to Shikamaru's side. "Ne, Shikamaru...." She said in a coy voice.  
  
The crease in his brow increased as he flickered his eyes to the blonde, knowing full well she wanted something. "What?"  
  
"Are you going to buy me something with the money you won?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Her jaw dropped. "Why not?"  
  
"Lost it all."  
  
"To who?"  
  
To Ino's surprise, he blushed and tried to sink into the book. Shikamaru mumbled something faintly about the heat.  
  
"Who?" She asked again.  
  
His frown grew, but he said in a clearer voice: "Asuma."  
  
There was a pause. Then Ino let out a snort, trying to hold back her laughter. "/Asume-sensei/!? Asuma-sensei actually /beat/ you in something?"  
  
"He's supposed to be a card shark." He said, still livid at his loss to his long-time, game-oriented punching bag. "I just didn't listen."  
  
"I'll say!" She dissolved into giggles. Shikamaru hrmphed and turned deeper into the book as she let it all out. Finally, after laughing herself sore, Ino tried to get his attention again. "Ne, Shikamaru?" Just because she could, she fell against his shoulder, practically lying against his side. She felt him tense and shift his weight to accommodate hers but did nothing else. After it was apparent he wouldn't put his arm around her, Ino pouted, hugging his arm tightly and giving it a tug. "/Ne/, Shikamaru~!"  
  
Closing the book around his finger, he turned to look at Ino. "What?" He asked, his voice seemed a little deeper than usual.  
  
With his arm held snuggly against her chest, she asked, "Is something bothering you?"  
  
"No....."  
  
She frowned slightly. "You seem really distracted."  
  
Shikamaru looked away. Even if it was only a half-truth, at least she'd be satisfied with that. "Some jounin is getting married in a few days."  
  
"So?"  
  
He huffed. "He's a friend of my dad's. Meaning I'll probably be dragged along and be forced to play their drinking games again."  
  
"Oh." But still she pouted, trying to get his attention.  
  
Realizing this, Shikamaru rolled his eyes. One of his hands went up and gripped hers tightly. Ino loved the feel of his hands on hers, heavy, but always gentle, skin just rough enough to scrape pleasingly over her nerves. Her fingers gripped back, giving him a little squeeze. But, to her surprise, he peeled her hand from his arm.  
  
A miffed look on her face, Ino tilted her head back to look at him. Shikamaru just gave her a vaguely apologetic smile. "We should get back to studying. You don't want to get shown up by the genin, do you?"  
  
But she caught the strange that passed through Shikamaru's face as he turned back to the book. She wasn't certain what it was about, but she knew she didn't like how it looked on her boyfriend.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It wasn't too incredibly late by the time Shikamaru decided to call it a night though Ino's parents were insisting that he stay for dinner. He just waved off their invitation, explaining they had leftovers that needed to be eaten before it decided to mutate. Apparently his father had decided to cook a few days back. His cooking never came with a happy ending. Well, it did so long as the food wasn't kept around for long periods of time.  
  
Ino followed him down the block, chatting idly to him. He didn't really listen to what she said, but he listened to her voice. When it came to disguising speech, Ino really was bad at it. Shikamaru could read her entire mood just by listening to her, the rhythm of her speech, the length of the words she used, the structure of her sentences. And that wasn't even going into her tone of voice. Tonight, it seemed, she wanted to say something that she was a bit too shy to just breech, outright. But the best way for Ino to say something, he knew, was to wait until she felt ready to say it on her own.  
  
They stood under a lamppost for a minute or so, just enjoying the night in each other's company. Then Shikamaru turned to Ino, watching the reflection of the stars and moonlight against the clarity of her eyes. He gave her hand a little squeeze and told her good night. He let it slide out of his hands as he broke away from her, pace slow, giving her time to jump start herself into saying it.  
  
Suddenly he felt someone against his back, throwing slender pale arms across his body.  
  
"Shikamaru," he heard Ino whisper into his shoulder, "I-I just want you to know.... I love you."  
  
It felt like everything in his body froze. His brain, his blood, his heart. All he felt was a sharp twang of panic that drenched his body in ice. He couldn't think anything but the same line of words that tumbled in his head.  
  
Don'tsayitdon'ttellmethatIdon'tknowwhattodoIdon'tknowdon'ttellmethatI'mscare dIcan'tlosecontrolpleasedon'ttellmethat  
  
"Shikamaru?" He felt her lift her head up to his shoulder.  
  
The boy forced his lungs to work, but the only thing that would come out was a throat 'Aa' that wavered unsteadily. He had to ward off the tremors in his body as he pulled her arms off of him, willing his legs to keep him steady as he made his way home.  
  
Only in the safety of his empty house did he allow his hands to tremble. Her bright smile, the warmth of her body next to his and the taste of her lips. The more he saw her, welcoming him back home after two or three days of missions, the stronger his feelings for her were getting. They were.... They were frightening, really.  
  
He wouldn't deny that sometimes he dreamt about her. Oh, he'd be embarrassed whenever someone called him on it, but he wouldn't deny it. Why should he, after all? She was beautiful and intelligent and she cared about him. And- because she hadn't made any indication otherwise -she wanted to be with him.  
  
But as Shikamaru walked into the living room, trying to find something to still his hands with, sometimes he was scared being around her. Feeling his chest constrict with emotions, sometimes it felt like he couldn't breath even when he was just watching her work in her shop. Even in cloud watching she was becoming a distraction, finding himself watching her more than the sky. Every time he held her it was getting harder to let go, every time they kissed he had to force himself to back away.  
  
He didn't know when the time would come when he wouldn't be able to stop himself and he was afraid of what would become of them when that happened. Would she be willing to take it to the next level? Would she hate him? Would she cry to her father or to Sakura (if that happened, he would not only be slaughtered by no less than seven talented shinobi, he'd never be able to show his face around town again)? Or would she leave him?  
  
The last thought stopped him cold. If-If she left....what would he do? He didn't think he'd be able to take it, a deep part of him didn't think he'd /let/ her leave him. Shikamaru clenched his hands together tight. They were starting to tremble again.  
  
He went over to the shogi board sitting on the table. Two more moves and he'd win this one though his thoughts were far from any victories that maybe coming to him. Somehow those dark questions and even darker thoughts swarmed in his mind and he couldn't get rid of them.  
  
Shikamaru looked down at the board and saw that it had been rearranged for a new game, his father having already made the first move. He reached down to move his own piece and paused. A sudden, inexplicable anger came over him and he gripped the side of the table instead, sending it, the game and all the pieces across the room.  
  
He climbed warily up to his room, unable to keep his hands from shaking.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Every girl she knew was proud of their boyfriends. The ones that had boyfriends, anyway. Because they were strong or talented or they held a high ranking. But they didn't hold the same pride Ino did for hers. Strength and skill were good, she wouldn't deny it, but then the village would never be short of shinobi that had more power or ability than they knew what to do with. Her boyfriend, though, he was intelligent. And not just any intelligence that you'd see in every tenth ninja. Even at his age, his brain was starting to become legendary; the first newly promoted chuunin that had lead joint chuunin and jounin teams (of different villages, no less) and took down a bandit gang that had been plaguing the perimeters of Fire Country for almost a decade. When she thought about it, guys like Sasuke and Neji weren't all that impressive, not compared to Shikamaru. They were the best ninja of their generation, yes, but they wouldn't be able to do what Shikamaru has done without their abilities to aid him. To Ino, he was the greatest ninja in the village.  
  
The only problem was, she had come to find, was that she really had a hard time understanding him. Sure, they'd been together for a long while, now, she could understand him. But sometimes, she just couldn't fathom what was going on in his mind, he was just too difficult to predict.  
  
This was one of those times.  
  
Ever since she 'confessed' (she supposed it could just as easily be called 'admitting what really should've already been known'), Shikamaru seemed to be avoiding her. Not really going out of his way to not see her, exactly, just seemingly distant. As if his mind had decided to go on vacation and left his body to go wandering around on its own. Not the brightest thing for a brain to do, but for all of Shikamaru's intelligence, he still struggled a bit with common sense.  
  
Asuma-sensei had told her to tell Shikamaru that she loved him was the best thing to do, her parents encouraging the same. All of them said that he wouldn't hurt her, that he'd feel the same way, but to Ino he seemed more distant now than ever.  
  
She wanted a second opinion.  
  
The only problem, she thought, was the only person that knew Shikamaru better than herself, talking to him was no longer an option.  
  
Let it not be said that Ino would just let an opportunity at her happiness (no matter how seemingly stupid) go without at least /one/ try.  
  
Kneeling at the marker, she put a small wreath of flowers leaning against Chouji's grave. She placed a plate of four sweet bean buns (she only made it once on his birthday, but he said she made some of the best he's tasted) next to it, taking a moment to pray.  
  
Then, settling comfortably, Ino tried to find the best way to broach the subject.  
  
"Hey, Chouji." She cleared her throat, really feeling dumb. But, she supposed, it's the best way to get a conversation going, why should it be different when she was talking to herself? "It's been a while, hasn't it? I really haven't been coming by a lot, I'm sorry." Annoyed at the lack of response she knew she was going to get, Ino put a hand to her head and told herself just to get to the point. "Anyway, I came because I need some help, though- and I'll be honest here –I don't really know what sort of help you could be right now. It's Shikamaru, you see? Yeah, that lazy bum. We've been going out for a while, a few months." She paused to think. "Okay, so maybe it's not that long when you think about it, but that's besides the point.  
  
"I really, really care about him and I know he feels the same way about me. I love him and I told him that because, like I said, I thought he felt the same way about me." Ino rolled her eyes and waved a hand. "I know I said 'I know he feels the same way', but apparently I was wrong. Ever since I told him, he barely talks to me. He never really sees me anymore and every time we're together he acts almost like he'd rather be somewhere else." She gave wiry grin. "He's your friend. How about talking some sense into him?  
  
"I know I'm not acting like me, but it's kinda hard to be like myself when he's not acting like /himself/!" Ino glared at the grave, haughty that the memory of her teammate would argue with her. "He is /not/! Shikamaru's being so aggravating! He won't talk to me, he won't do anything, he's..... he's......" Again she put a hand to her head. "......he's acting just like before. God." She sighed, bringing her knees in close. "I don't want to go back to that time, I hate it. When he's so distant and all you did was eat and I just yelled at you both. I look back at that time and I hate myself and I wish I could erase it from memory." Ino bit her lip. "The only way I got him to admit that he liked me was to bug him and yell at him until he just came out and said it. Because he got annoyed by me bothering him."  
  
She turned back to the marker, a hesitant smile on her face. "So you're saying go back to my annoying self to get him out of /his/ annoying self? You think that'll work?" She let out a huff. "Yeah, I suppose it won't hurt." In hindsight, she supposed it should've felt odd at the time than it did. Instead it felt like a perfectly natural thing to do, throwing her arms around the marker in a hug. "Thank you, Chouji." She said softly. The sting of the beginnings of tears was creeping up on her. "I really do wish you were still around. I wish I could take back all the horrible things I said to you. You really are a wonderful guy, you and Shikamaru never were understood, were you?" She gave his grave a little squeeze before she pulled back to stand. "I'll come back again. And, hopefully, everything will be all right. Bye, Chouji."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Thinking is a very handy thing. It can help get ones' self out of a tight situation, it have help see a bad situation in a better light, it could even bring an equal beneficial arrangement to an otherwise hopeless argument. However, thinking could also be very treacherous.  
  
Ino knew, as she went from place to place, looking for the ever elusive Shikamaru, that if she thought about it, she'd probably just wind up sitting somewhere feeling sorry for herself. She had spent the greater part of her career as a genin to learn to slow down and think about what she was doing. Asuma-sensei had drilled it into them that going forward blindly in a mission led to worse situations than better. But sometimes, she had learned, it was best to go about in her usual, straight forward manner, when you couldn't convince yourself that what you were about to do was a bad idea.  
  
So she looked around all the places she knew Shikamaru could be (his home, his roof, his favorite field), all the time thinking only: 'where could he be?' and 'he's in for one hell of an ear chewing when I see him'. She had even gone as far as going to the admin building, just to ensure that he wasn't out on any missions.  
  
After being told that he was still in the village (after much threatening on Ino's part and the intervention of a smarter and more Ino-experienced ninja), she was on the hunt again. Every single place she could think of, not a sign of her boyfriend. She was starting to get desperate.  
  
Then, as she was passing by a lonely intersection, it hit her: the bridge.  
  
Somehow, without a shared comment, it held some sort of symbolism for the two of them. Not too incredibly often did they spend time on the bridge, but it held a significance that she felt deep down inside. And when she thought of the bridge something in her heart thrummed. She knew she'd find him there.  
  
It was that kind of connection that Ino knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.  
  
"Shikamaru!" She called, jogging towards his familiar, slumped form. He flickered his eyes up toward her, as if not entirely surprised to see her here.  
  
He straightened a bit, turning toward her. "Hey, Ino." His voice was a little grittier, weary lines on his face. Ino wondered if he was pushing himself too hard again (honestly, for a lazy bum he certainly didn't know how to take care of himself!).  
  
"Hey." She returned, face a little flushed under the burning sun. It rested low on the sky. The sway of the treetops made it look almost as if the sun were a pendulum in the dark blue of encroaching evening.  
  
Shikamaru's gaze flickered away briefly. For all his masks and intelligence he couldn't seem to hide himself totally from Ino. "Sorry I didn't see you today."  
  
"I know." No trace of her former ire was in her blood. "You've had it rough." Just understand and the want to be as close to him as she could.  
  
He looked at her, a brief study, before his posture relaxed. Tense, tired, but relaxed. Except for his eyes, a tiny fringe of something- anxiety, perhaps? Or maybe bracing for something inevitable? –when he looked at her.  
  
"Busy day?" Shikamaru asked her. It sounded strange, those words on his voice. He wasn't much for small talk, after all. Or much talking at all, really.  
  
"Sort of. Just a lot of thinking." Ino turned to gaze out at the sun and trees and sky of the soft cusps of moving water. Offhandedly she said, "I talked to Chouji today."  
  
He shifted, a curios note in his voice. "Oh?" He didn't think Ino believed in talking to graves. He wouldn't have, either, but somehow it was different because it was his best friend. "Did he say anything useful?"  
  
"You know Chouji." She said importantly. "Always has and always will be stuffing his face, even in the afterlife." At least, that's what she hoped. For all the shit he had to deal with and the type of person he truly was, Chouji deserved happiness in the next world. And if it was a heaven full of all-you-can-eat 24-hour buffets, then she was happy for him.  
  
Shikamaru snorted but Ino continued. "He did tell me, though, that you're just being your old self. And we both find it /very/ annoying."  
  
He frowned, looking at her from the corner of his eye. "What are you talking about?"  
  
She turned to face him fully, hands on her hips. "And I have to go back to being annoying and bossy to get the old you out of your system, I'd do it in a heartbeat."  
  
Now he was openly scowling. "/What/," he asked again, "are you talking about?"  
  
"You've been avoiding me- don't think I haven't noticed. I'm blonde, but I'm not blind, okay?" She narrowed her eyes, beginning to feel the old vibe of 'boss mode' coming back to her. "I told you I loved you. I thought you'd be /happy/ but instead you're closing yourself off without explanation. Do you know how annoying that is? At least give me a reason for it! And if it's just because you're not ready, then forget I said anything. I can wait until your ready, I don't mind having to, just so long as we're still together."  
  
He looked back out into the river. But his hands were clenched tightly together.  
  
"You can at least tell me what's bothering you about it! If you didn't feel the same way at all, I know you'd say something about it. At least I /thought/ you would! Now I'm thinking I may have given you more backbone than you deserve! A man wouldn't let his girlfriend hanging like this! Especially not a chuunin, and especially not when-"  
  
"Okay, okay, I get the point!" He snapped irritably. "You don't have to go full bitch mode, okay?"  
  
Crossing her arms and letting his words slide over her shoulders, Ino sniffed. "So are you going to tell me what wrong? I can go back entirely to my old self if you won't."  
  
Annoyed, Shikamaru pushed away from the bridge railing, half turning toward Ino. The muscles in his jaw twitched, fighting to be said, fighting to be swallowed and worried about at a later time. But he knew that they had to be said or else she'd never leave him alone about it.  
  
So, with a deep breath, focusing on the flight of leaves in the distance, Shikamaru forced his throat to spew out the words it couldn't decide what to do with.  
  
It hurt, from the very depths, churning his stomach, to the deep scratches it left as it clawed passed his vocal cords to the bitter, acidic sting it left on his tongue, cracking the surface of his teeth and lips.  
  
"We should break up."  
  
Around them the world moved on. Birds chirped, the creek ran. Bugs crawled over the wood of the bridge and a merchant called for the last sales of the day somewhere in the distant. To Ino, though, it felt as if her blood stopped, then started surging back the opposite way. Her body was cold and it felt like something was trying to tear her body inside out, starting with her heart.  
  
Very carefully, keeping her voice steady, she asked with wide eyes, "What?"  
  
His hands clenched at his sides, desperately not looking at her. "I said," his low voice replied, "we should break up."  
  
"Break... Break up." Ino pleaded with herself to stop trembling. "Why?"  
  
"It's just.... too much of a hassle. I can't do it."  
  
Tilting her chin up, she looked at him with a strained, haughty expression. "Is this because I'm not putting out? Is that it?" Her anger was starting to build behind her voice. "What do you want me to do? Throw myself in your arms and scream 'TAKE ME'!?"  
  
"That's not it!"  
  
The sharp edge in his voice snapped her back. Shikamaru did not get upset. He did not get angry.  
  
And he did not stand in front of anyone, head bowed, desperately trying not to tremble. "That's not it at all."  
  
"Then why?" She wanted to be angry, it was better than crying. "I don't get, I thought we were doing okay."  
  
"I don't...." he stopped, trying to gather his thoughts. "I can't.... I don't want to end up like dad."  
  
She grabbed Shikamaru's hands, worried at the tension in his fists. For a boy his age, they should've been more callused, but it just proved he preferred to use his head in a situation than his fists.  
  
"Tell me." She said softly. "Make me understand? I deserve that at the very least." Give me a chance to change your mind....  
  
Slowly he looked up at her and Ino was surprised at how his eyes glistened, uncertain. "It's why my goals had to have a normal girl...." Shikamaru turned his hand over, thumb gently moving over Ino's palm. "Because mom left. Dad said that she was too beautiful, too outgoing. He said that he loved her too much." His hand tightened over hers. "I don't want to be left alone. I don't want to still love you after ten years, hoping you'll come back."  
  
Her eyes widened. "You.... You love me?" His face was drawn as he nodded. "Then why? Why do you keep trying to push me away like this?"  
  
He opened his mouth and no sound came out. Just this once, he thought, come out the way you're supposed to. "These feelings.... Sometimes they're too strong, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Sometimes even just being with you is too much and it gets hard to breathe. Even being with you isn't enough sometimes."  
  
Her hand tightened around his. "I-I don't understand...."  
  
"I'm afraid, all right?" He snapped. He was trembling again and he hated it. He could feel the strands of control slipping away from him and he hated it. "I'm afraid about what would happen if I just let go. I'm afraid what these emotions would make me do, I'm afraid what you'd do once you see them. I'm afraid that they may never go away and I'm afraid what would happen if you ever tried to leave me." He squeezed her fingers painfully, teeth grinding together. "Sometimes you make me want to lose control and I'm afraid of what I'll do when that happens. It's best this way when I can still ignore it."  
  
For a long moment, Ino was silent. "....You're serious." She stated quietly.  
  
"If we do it now, it's fine. If I lose it, I'd never be able to let you go."  
  
She snatched her hand out of his grasp. Shikamaru did nothing but let his hands drop, looking at the ground. She was going to yell at him, call him stupid, lazy, a coward, anything hurtful she could think off. She was going to walk away and he was just going to let her.  
  
He did not expect her to kiss him on the forehead.  
  
Pulling back, he looked into her smirking face. "What....?"  
  
"You think I /want/ you to let me go?" She said in that bossy tone that was Ino's alone. "I don't think you realize just exactly whose locket you're wearing. That doesn't get passed around easily, you know. I would never just /give/ it to anyone, especially someone who I didn't care deeply for." She poked him in the chest. "That locket will stay around you neck until /I/ take it back and so long as it stays there, you belong to me." Her face softened then and she smiled up at him. "Maybe, sometimes, it's okay to lose control. I won't lie and say I'm not afraid of it, too. Sometimes I get scared about how much I love you. Sometimes I'm frightened of it. Sometimes, even thinking about you makes me want to cry and never let you go. Even if we are scared, it's okay to let go. If we both want it, it can't be a bad thing. If we forced each other into something, even if we had to force our own feelings away, that would be when we're wrong, isn't it? Would you be happy with locking away your feelings just so you won't frighten me away? Holding back even if maybe I'm waiting for you to let go?"  
  
"I.... I don't know if I could get it back." He looked up at her a little shyly. "I don't know if I could stop once I lose control."  
  
She returned the look with a little smile and a little blush. "Maybe I'd like you to lose control."  
  
Neither said a word for a minute, timidly their eyes met. And they couldn't help but to smile through their flushed faces. Then, Ino held out her hand and hesitantly, Shikamaru took it. "C'mon," she tugged at his arm a bit, "you can walk me home."  
  
"No." She looked at him in surprise and he just gave her that same little smile. "I just want to be with you right now. Just for a little bit longer." That said, he held his other arm out to her. She willingly fell against his chest, comfortable in his warmth and scent as he held her tightly. And if they had to give up the rest of their lives for just one more minute together, just like that, it wouldn't mean a thing. Because they were there now and that made all the difference.  
  
~O~WA~RI~  
  
A/N:  
  
Anyway, if any of you really care to know what else I'm doing or just listen to me whine, comment, bitch, whatever, you can go to my livejournal, just search for ajremix. I put up the occasional drabble, insight, bitching, obsession of the moment and it'll have information for when I put up my revamped website. Or if you prefer a more direct contact, you could e-mail me. Just put something in the headline that you're from ff.net or I may accidentally delete your e-mail with my mounds of crap mail^^;;  
  
When Shikamaru was mumbling about 'heat' when he was talking about losing his money, it's a little play on words. Ino had misheard him grumbling 'Asuma' as 'asemo' which means (directly from the dictionary) 'prickly heat'. More useless knowledge from me^-^  
  
Yes, there is a difference between intelligence and common sense. Intelligence is how smart you are, what you know, book knowledge and how you use it. Common sense is knowing things people /should/ know. Like washing your hands after you go to the bathroom, picking up after yourself, holding open doors for people whose arms are full. Or not spacing out in front of your girlfriend, that's a good one, too.  
  
The hardest part, really, was trying to decide how Ino would go back to superbossy!Ino mode, so I had her talk to someone. Then I couldn't figure out who to have her talk to. I couldn't do Asuma because he was already done in the previous chapter. I thought of people from Shikato, her own parents, Sakura, Ten Ten, or Hinata (or any combination of the three), even thought Kurenai, Anko or Tsunade. Hell, for a second, I was even thinking Neji for some LSD-induced moment (no drugs were taken in the making of this series. honestly.). But, when I thought about it, the only one she could talk to that had a real good idea on the workings of Shikamaru's mind was Chouji. Then I rued the day I decided he just /had/ to die. So I just had Ino talking to his grave^^;; I know people says it's helpful. I don't really understand it myself, but, you know, if it works.....  
  
The original ending to this (pretty much a more condensed version of the break up line down) was written out since at least near the middle of this series. Overtime, though, it got changed and extended and redone, though it's still pretty close to how I first had it typed out. So, yeah, pretty much this entire series was just so I could do that one scene XDD  
  
All right, all right. I'm done now. Remember, just 'cause I'm not doing any more big projects (after i finish with this /last/ big project) doesn't mean I'm done writing. It just means I'm done with big smeggin' projects :P. Remember, the side stories are still a semi-on-going project (whenever i feel like writing them), though they won't all be just about Ino and Shikamaru (some thoughts i'm toying with- shikamaru's relationship with tsunade, more sasuke dealings, a possible future for ino and shikamaru- including kids). After all, Stumbling Blind wasn't just about the two in a romantic relationship, so it's only fair that the side stories wouldn't be just as narrow :P  
  
Anyway, enough rambling. Thank you all for your support and your comments and the constructive criticism I've gotten. I wish everyone got as great a group of reviewers as you all^^ 


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